friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

[Bigbusheyeyebrows]

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

I have 4 kids under 12 and I go away with my best friend a few weekends a year. Didn't do it much before because i didn't have anyone I cared enough for to want to go away with and at the same time enjoyed the same things as i do but I bloody love it with her. Husband is welcome to do the same. He is not interested in going away with friends but would go away for weekends dedicated to his hobby (he has only done it once but mainly due to practicalities / laziness). Just say you don't fancy it but certainly not unreasonable for her to ask. You are not tied at the hip with your partner/children!
Personally i need that escape. It's fabulous!

Do you not want to go because you'll realise that your family will do fine without you for a weekend? That's what it sounds like to me.

Your friend is not unreasonable.

Unsure why your nose is out of joint over a suggestion for a girls's weekend? If your preference is to spend the weekend with your family just say so, but to call it 'swanning off' and say things like 'surely she realizes' ...
It actually sounds like you have a bit of an attitude problem and resent and are judgmental about your friend.

Yep, for some reason, the OP seems very reluctant to go, with this kind of 'they neeeeeed me, I will feel sooooo guilty' kind of stance..

The patriarchy has done a number on you @Bigbusheyeyebrows . As I said, no MAN would think twice, he'd be off!

Well yeah,, this ^... The kids are pretty grown! Sounds like the OP is looking for an excuse to not go.

If you don't WANT to go, then just tell her you're too busy plucking your eyebrows @Bigbusheyeyebrows

I'll get me coat........ 😬

What's wrong with your partner watching the children whilst you go away and have a break?

This makes even less sense than your previous posts. It is ONE extra day on a weekend. Why is it any more mean to go away on that weekend vs 2 weeks away.
There is something very distorted in your thinking on this!

You go away for two weeks a year on your own but three days away is an issue? Because it's a bank holiday?

So it’s the fact it’s a bank holiday - how strange! 🤔
What’s the difference exactly?

YABU and so weird.

''Younger children''?
I was assuming 5, not teens and 12.
You have a partner with you...not remotely unreasonable that your friend should ask you to go away for the weekend!

Most women would jump at the chance in your situation.

It’s an invitation, not a command.

Why choose to be offended when somebody has suggested a nice thing! How odd.

This is is such a weird thread. Your poor friend was only asking if you wanted to go away like lots of friendship groups do, including those with children

Given its a bank holiday weekend your partner won't even have to get the teens out of bed for school, it can't be that hard for him.

She’s not at all odd to ask; and it is totally fine for you to have a weekend jolly without partner or kids .

All she's done is ask. Because you feel bad about saying no, you've spun her invitation into an aggressive demand. But it wasn't - you do have the right to say no though, if you don't want to go. Just tell her that you don't feel comfortable away from your kids for that long just yet. Which is perfectly fine btw.

Will do you and your children the world of good to spend a bit of time apart.

Am sure husband and children will happily wave you off for the weekend! Really don’t understand your comments TBH !

I say this in the kindest way but honestly a bank holiday is fairly irrelevant in this... My kids are similar age and probably wouldn't even notice if I went away providing the food fair appeared with some sort of meals (sod it let them have take away all weekend) IF you don't want to go just say although ever thought maybe your single friend might fancy some company, it might be quite lonely.

But if it's just you don't want to leave them it might be some bonding time with their dad and a chance for you to have a bit of fun, compromise and only do sat morn to Sunday evening??

Side note I am also off to stand in the corner as I leave my children far younger (and here's the real shocker it's with their adult sister not even their dad for a night occasionally)... Take aways, no boring mum rules and their big sister to themselves. They are gutted when I come home

They will love to be ''mum free!''
We used to love it when mum went away for the rare weekend with her friends, as Dad was very lenient, and we had more treats, could watch rubbish on TV, and have takeaways as Dad couldn't cook.

Go on that short break @Bigbusheyeyebrows - The teens will have a great time with their Dad.

Well it's quite tight to have an enjoyable full weekend in Spain over a normal weekend, you'd spend half of it in transit. Or if it's selfish to use bank holidays, isn't it even more selfish to use your annual leave for a jolly?
If you don't want to go and you don't think married people should travel with friends, fair enough, you do you. But she's definitely not U to ask.

I just asked my friend (married, young children) if she'd like to come to Mexico with me for a week, during school holidays of all time. She said yay. Our respective husbands said to go and enjoy. Nobody was U.

Perhaps she didn’t realise that you consider Bank Holidays to be on a par with Christmas & Mothers/Fathers Day and just thought she’d give you the option of going somewhere nice for the weekend, thinking that you could decline if you’d rather spend time with your family instead?

YAB unbelievably unreasonable to think that she’s the one in the wrong. Also, are your DC aware that Bank Holidays are sacrosanct and that they can’t make any plans with their friends as they get older?

How selfish of her OP. Doesn’t she realise bank holidays are for gluing yourself to your kids and having enforced family fun times without any outsider intervention.

those rare Mondays when you don’t have to go to work are so precious. You only get what? 8 a year? How could you go a single day off work without your young adult children in tow?

LTB, go NC and eat some naice ham OP you deserve it.

that BH should be spent with family - are the teenagers even interested in wholesome 3-day family togetherness weekend? Most kids that age would surely sleep til lunch and play Fortnite the rest of time, appearing for meals.

I’d much prefer to spend a bank holiday with my family than go off with a friend! I love my family and they’re the ones I prefer to spend time with. Friends are ok and I do go away occasionally but they don’t compare to family.

Yeah, I mean, what an AWFUL friend inviting you away for a weekend!!

You know what they say: 'It's an invite, not a summons'. If you don't want to go, don't go. Although it sounds to me like you just resent her for being able to do whatever she wants.l!