Nursery keep spelling child’s name wrong

[QueryAutism]

Child has a name that has multiple legitimate spellings, at least 4 that I can think of, but it’s a name that’s popular across Europe and tends to be spelt slightly differently in each country. We have used the second most common UK variant, which is only slightly less commonly used than the most common variant.

It’s spelt wrong all the time by family, friends and strangers. Fine, a tad annoying when it’s family or close friends but whatever.

Nursery persistently spell his name wrong. I’ve told them this multiple times. It was spelt wrong on his peg and I had to tell them 3 times before they finally changed the label. It’s spelt wrong on his drawings. Then today we had an assessment report from them and it was spelt wrong throughout. He’s been going there for almost 2 years.

Aren’t they supposed to be the ones helping him to learn to recognise and write his name? Surely it’s going to confuse him seeing it spelt wrong all the time.

I think I’m going to send a polite but strongly worded email in response to the progress report. Surely his key worker should be able to spell his name at the very least? Am I being unreasonable?

If it is a legitimate spelling then YANBU.

Be warned that every second post on this thread will want to know the name, and tell you that they can't possibly vote unless you disclose it!

Don’t let it bother you. My name also has a few legit spelling variations, as does my surname. People frequently spell both incorrectly but if I let it bother me, I’d be permanently grouchy. However, that being said, I purposely chose a name for DS that has only one spelling and cannot be shortened 😂

That's definitely annoying.
Can you get your child to actually point it out.
My daughter's Reception teacher spelled her name wrong once (genuine mistake - it was a typo) and my girl told her off quite firmly 😂

its annoying!

YANBU. I wonder if it has been misspelled on the school’s central management information system and I would ask for a printout to check.

My son has a name with only one spelling yet a common misspelling. It’s misspelt a lot. We’ve even had personalised items of clothing with the wrong spelling! It’s annoying but at nursery stage, we let it go.

Nip it on the bud now. Dc have trophies from secondary still with wrong spelling. With younger ds we insist they have them re made...
Very disrespectful imo.. It it their job to know each dc. Surely that includes knowing their actual name? Not just a version of it...

YANBU.

As your DC gets older, I'd try encourage them not to be bothered by it because it'll just be easier for them if they don't get wound up every time.

But the nursery definitely should be spelling it right.

YANBU especially since you've corrected it politely several times. A persons name is so important and personal.

When someone starts at work with a long name you've never heard of before, you learn how to pronounce it as soon as possible. When you need to write it down you copy it from somewhere else (like their name on Teams) and if you make a mistake you apologise and be more careful.

You do this out of respect. If someone was still making no attempt to get it right after 2 years of working together (and weren't mortified about this fact upon being corrected) you'd think the person a dick.

Why would it be different for a child?

From what you've said the name isn't even particularly unusual - just not the most common spelling - but even if it was unusual it shouldn't matter.

I'm an ex-teacher and often came across names that were spelled differently than I would immediately have assumed and I got used to them very quickly.

Someone's name is their name. It's not difficult to learn that someone uses Isobel instead of Isabelle (which I think might be the closest I can imagine to the kind of spelling difference you're speaking about).

But even if you were talking about Daniel spelled Danyul then still YANBU - they should learn it!!

Yes the less common spelling will be misspelled regularly but this should ONLY be when first meeting people. It's not hard to care enough to learn. If you've been friends with someone for years and still write "Shaun" instead of "Sean" in their Christmas card because you "forget" after being corrected then you are being rude.

No name or spelling variant should be an issue after 2 years.

My DD's name can legitimately be spelt 4 different ways and is common across Europe. She learnt to spell her name at 2 years old and from then on corrected people who spelt her name wrong.

And yes her nursery spelt her name wrong on multiple occasions.
Her school teachers don't but other children and parents do.

i can tell if she doesn't like a person that much as she will moan about them spelling her name wrong.

My DDs name has multiple spellings. All equally valid. We picked the one we thought was most common in English but apparently that hasn’t translated to reality. She CONSTANTLY gets her name mis-spelt including by some very close friends and her teachers! Even her own grandmother has spelt it wrongly before. I mean surely it’s not that hard is it?? I try really hard not to let it bother me because DD is going to have this for the rest of her life and it’s going to make things stressful for her if she’s constantly getting annoyed by it. We just let it go and make sure all legal documents are right. For the sake of your sanity I advise you do likewise.

Yes Isabel/Isabelle/Isobel is a good equivalent. Well known name, multiple legitimate and commonly used spellings.

I agree, it feels like they just can’t be bothered. I’ve worked in schools and have taught plenty of children with completely random, made up spellings, but I’ve always made the effort to get the right Lily-May/Lilly-May/Lily-Mae/Lillie-Mae/Lillee-Maye etc. 🙈

I have a very unusual name that is constantly mispelt and even people who've known me all my life misspell it (including my own father). I'm used to it - I know how to spell it! Quite often when asked how to spell it I just say "however you like!" I have learnt not to be bothered by it.

I'm sure your child will grow up knowing how to spell their name, or shorten it to something that can be spelt.

It wouldn't be so bad if I actually liked the name...

You should definitely ensure they are spelling your child's name correctly. The child will be learning to recognise and write their name from seeing it displayed on coat pegs etc. They shouldn't have to just get used to seeing it wrong as one poster suggested.

I’m a Charlotte and one of my DMs friends simply would not accept that it was spelt with C. I had birthday and Christmas cards to ‘Sharlotte’ until she passed away. Best one ever was a high school classmate who wrote ‘Sharlet’ on my Christmas card 🤣. Used to annoy me, I just laugh now.

It's one thing coming from schoolmates, though, Nursery staff and teachers should spell it correctly.

Dd had one teacher that always spelled dds name incorrectly. She changed the last two letters eg, Daisy to Daisie.
I corrected her multiple times but nothing changed. In the end it was quite funny, almost like she was did it on purpose.

This is why I wonder if there's an error on the MIS. Staff may be double-checking the name on the register.

They should be spelling it right. In your shoes i would push until they spell it right.

However - your DS will probably have this struggle his whole life.

It's shit having a name you can spell in different ways. Worse if no one can spell your surname either! I spent the first 20 years of my life having to spell out my whole first name AND second name on the phone or to anyone filling out any form.

My names aren't even particularly unusual.
First name - only 4 letters - but sometimes has a silent letter in it and can be pronounced differently either way.
Surname - think Griffin, but folks try and spell it Griffen, Grifin, Griffine or Gryfen or all sorts of bloody things!

I thought when i got married it would help but lo and behold my DHs surname name is even worse! He warned me - he said you'll be spelling this out for the rest of your life Laiste, and i said nooooo, can't be worse than my maiden name ..... but he was right! 😩

This is why it really is best to choose names which will tend not to be misspelt.

So we should all use generic names to appease rude people? I think not...

Or accept that the child will have a lifetime of correcting people.

My eldest boy is called Ieuan (Yay-Ann) and the things he's been called, and the spellings we've seen have been incredible!

But Welsh names are important to us and the world has enough Jacks.

My name has one spelling for female
And a male version

People can't even get that right

If a female is stood in front of you, and you're holding hospital notes that say Samantha, don't wonder why nobody gets up when you shout "Samuel...".

My work signature says Samantha. So does my email
Every day "hi Samuel"