Nursery keep spelling child’s name wrong

[QueryAutism]

Child has a name that has multiple legitimate spellings, at least 4 that I can think of, but it’s a name that’s popular across Europe and tends to be spelt slightly differently in each country. We have used the second most common UK variant, which is only slightly less commonly used than the most common variant.

It’s spelt wrong all the time by family, friends and strangers. Fine, a tad annoying when it’s family or close friends but whatever.

Nursery persistently spell his name wrong. I’ve told them this multiple times. It was spelt wrong on his peg and I had to tell them 3 times before they finally changed the label. It’s spelt wrong on his drawings. Then today we had an assessment report from them and it was spelt wrong throughout. He’s been going there for almost 2 years.

Aren’t they supposed to be the ones helping him to learn to recognise and write his name? Surely it’s going to confuse him seeing it spelt wrong all the time.

I think I’m going to send a polite but strongly worded email in response to the progress report. Surely his key worker should be able to spell his name at the very least? Am I being unreasonable?

My name has multiple spellings and I even get called by something entirely different when I say my name over the phone. One of those things I learnt to put up with and laugh off over the years. I’ve had years of correcting people but it’s nothing I’ve got my knickers in a twist over.

I have a SIL has one of those names that has 3 spellings, the difference is just how many n's and e's it has. I have some sort of block with it and I just can't remember which one she uses, for over 30 years I need to check her FB every time I write a card!

For your family I would try putting his name visually in front of them as much as possible. Get a bag that says (e.g.) Zach on it and when you visit put it on the table so they keep seeing it, badges, books, anywhere possible until it really sinks into their brains.

Not much you can do with nursery other than keep reminding them, or buy lots of cheap t-shirts/hats etc with Zach in big letters on them!

Same for my son (now an adult) his name can be spelt 3 ways, we chose the Scottish way, we have Scottish roots and I prefer it to the English spelling. Everyone spells it wrong. However id be a bit miffed off if his school got it wrong.

This is what your child is going to have to endure for the rest of his life. My name can be spelled a couple of ways. I don't care if people get it wrong.

It doesn’t matter what the spelling is. The nursery should be spelling it the way his name is spelled.

@QueryAutism its so rude and I would keep complaining.

It matters on documents, Official forms and assessments and such.

I've got one of those sort of names too. But my school etc. always got it right; unlike most other people who are not very close friends. I sign off every email with my correctly signed name, and people STILL reply with the wrong spelling. I think a lot of people are just thoughtless.

I would check it's right on the school records. DS has a not very common name and we've used a unusually used first letter of it and nursery unfailingly get it correct and therefore so does he. It shouldn't need flagging more than once and would annoy me endlessly

Yeaaahhhhh annoying but nooo dont stress

its nursery. Not school

Many children learn to recognise their own name while they are still at nursery. They see it written down and can recognise the shapes, so it IS important for the nursery to spell his name correctly on everything.

My surname has several variants, all valid but it still annoys me when I get letters addressed to me with the wrong spelling. How difficult is it to check? I even got one this week from a firm that wanted me give someone a reference and they couldn't spell my name correctly!

I used to annoyed when primary school got my children’s names wrong especially on certificates etc. But my kids usually once they are old enough told the teacher that they’ve got it wrong. Do you put your child’s name in clothes or water bottles? Labelling everything with the correct spelling will help at nursery I expect and just politely mention it each time they misspell it and they will hopefully get the message. They will have to get their name right at secondary school as it’s on their exam papers and it’s a legality.

I get this too, my name is Teresa, and people seem to want to add extra letters to it, usually an H or an S, but sometimes an extra E (?!)

Anyway, my schools NEVER got it wrong. I wouldn't let this go, they absolutely should be getting their own pupil's names right, sheesh.

@Tessiebear2023 I love your user name - is that because you are a Teresa?
It was only recently that I learned that Tessie was frequently a nickname for Teresa back in the olden days. I only knew the name from Enid Blyton books (she used it a lot) and read somewhere about it being a nickname.
You don't hear of many Tessie's these days - probably because there aren't many Teresa's 😂

My name has a few variants and is also a common name. If anyone misspells or pronounces my name I passively misspell and miss pronounce their name until they get my name right. 99% of the time the very next time they get my name right. For example if their name is Chris, I will call them Callum, Carly, Channing

Although staff should be spelling his name correctly, you are responsible for teaching him how to spell & recognise it.

It's common mindfulness and respect. I would have quite, polite but firm words, and request acknowledgement.

I once worked for a non-profit educational org. I volunteered to help out with a position. They printed name cards, and misspelt my name as 'Steven.' Nobody seemed bothered about that so I withdrew my offer to help.

Re message from NeedMoreLego my daughter has an unusual name too. She had been at school for I can't remember how long when the deputy head pronounced her name wrongly at assembly. She stood up and corrected him, with the result that he told her off in front of the whole assembly! I wish now that I had torn a strip off him. It's one thing not to be able to spell an unusual name, but surely a deputy head teacher should know how to pronounce it. Anyway she's married to a foreigner now, and living abroad, and they don't have any problem with either!

My DS is Aaron and mostly teachers can’t spell it!

Easy to say but if it’s not dealt with official docs and certificates will end up wrong. Yes it does happen

Re the message from OP who suggested buying Tee Shirts with the child's name on - not a good idea in this day and age - there are some odd people about ...

I agree OP and would find this an issue. If the name has variants she will have to endure this for the rest of her days but there is zero excuse for nursery and I think it's really disrespectful. Is it the key worker making the mistake or other staff? There might be a lot of rotation and people get it wrong but its still keyworkers job to oversee it. If it's the keyworker I'd ask management to check how it's spelt on the system and explain your concerns.

Also your child can learn it. I work in childcare and a little one of three says 'my name is 'name' spelled ie and not y'.

Daphnis156 · 16/04/2024 16:15

This is why it really is best to choose names which will tend not to be misspelt.
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Re the above, I disagree. Why should any name be chosen just to make it easier for other people to spell? Choose the name you want!

Some quite standard names can have a variety of spelling. Especially if different countries have different spelling for the name or at least a name that sounds close to the same. Such as Eoin / Eoghán / Owen / Owain (feel like I've missed a few there).

And it's fine if a name is spelt the wrong way the first time another person writes it down - maybe the second time too. But for a place frequented often it's not OK. A nursery should know the children in it.

the spelling was wrong of my daughters name, there is more than one spelling and hers is less common in the U.K. we did know people would spell it wrong but the spelling we chose is reflective of her culture. She’s 16 now and I asked her recently if she would have preferred the more common U.K. spelling and she said no. I just kept telling the nursery and they changed the peg - it still happened on her art work etc