Nursery keep spelling child’s name wrong

[QueryAutism]

Child has a name that has multiple legitimate spellings, at least 4 that I can think of, but it’s a name that’s popular across Europe and tends to be spelt slightly differently in each country. We have used the second most common UK variant, which is only slightly less commonly used than the most common variant.

It’s spelt wrong all the time by family, friends and strangers. Fine, a tad annoying when it’s family or close friends but whatever.

Nursery persistently spell his name wrong. I’ve told them this multiple times. It was spelt wrong on his peg and I had to tell them 3 times before they finally changed the label. It’s spelt wrong on his drawings. Then today we had an assessment report from them and it was spelt wrong throughout. He’s been going there for almost 2 years.

Aren’t they supposed to be the ones helping him to learn to recognise and write his name? Surely it’s going to confuse him seeing it spelt wrong all the time.

I think I’m going to send a polite but strongly worded email in response to the progress report. Surely his key worker should be able to spell his name at the very least? Am I being unreasonable?

It's annoying and disrespectful to not make an effort to spell someone's name correctly.

It's more difficult when there is more than one way to spell a name. I know a Lynn, a Lyn and a Lynne, and I have to keep checking my contacts list to make sure I spell them correctly.

I have an unusual name that I have had to spell for lots of people and, when DD was born, I gave her a name that people had heard of and that they could spell. There is only one way of spelling her name so there is no ambiguity.

I'm not a fan of creative spellings of traditional names - Konner anyone?

I have a name that can be shortened a couple of ways and is quite similar to other names. Think Diane, Diana. I have a preferred shortened version which I use and everyone uses it too except MY MOTHER. which is quite irritating. However I have spent my entire life being called all sorts of versions of my name and now I generally can't be bothered and just answer to anything.

My daughter also has a name that can be spelt multiple ways. I picked the most common way it's spelt in England but her preschool teachers used to constantly spell it a variety of different ways. It annoyed me a bit but I never said anything as she was going to a different school anyway. They spell it correctly in reception. I definitely would have said something if they spelt it wrong in reception.

I constantly get people spelling my name wrong in emails, they use the male version instead of female version. Even though I literally sign the email and it has my email signature on it, people still email me back spelling it wrong! It is annoying. I always make sure I spell people's names correctly. I feel it's disrespectful not to.

Not being unreasonable at all, but maybe go Pa witha Tshirt with his name emblazoned on, or less prominently, embroidered on his hood etc

That is very rude of them and I would keep insisting on them spelling it correctly.

People occasionally spell my name (Rebecca) wrong but the incident I was most offended/amused by was when my SIL, whose daughter's middle name is Rebecca, spelt it Rebekerr in a birthday card!

I also had a neighbour once whose daughter was called Cherie, or so I thought, until we received a Christmas card from them and I realised it was spelt Shiree! That explained a lot as after that I could 'hear' the spelling when she called out her name.

Did you read the message from the woman called Charlotte? Sharlotte, Charlot, Sharlet, etc. people can mangle anything

I have this with DS at preschool as well. There is only one spelling of his name (Nikolai), but a very similar, more popular name is constantly used on his drawings, etc (Nicholas). Recently, DS has been correcting the staff when they spell it incorrectly, but I have previously requested that they use a shortened nickname if they can't ensure it is spelled correctly (Nick).

*DS' name changed for anonymity

@HonestPinkDuck that's awful she got told off for correcting his mistake 🙁

I immediately thought of how many colleagues I've seen write "Issac" on pictures. Not even my kids (several Isaacs over the years), and it would give me the rage!

OMG do you know me?! 😂😂

It’s misspelt all the time! We even had clothes gifted with “Issac” on it! Everyone gets it wrong - my good friend with a PHD in geophysics, DH’s aunt who was an English teacher, and so on. What makes it even more funny is that my side of the family and extended family all have English as a second language, yet they have never misspelt it (though I suspect it’s because they always check before writing!).

Isaac was on our shortlist for DS2 and the national inability to spell it was a major reason why we didn’t use it. We used Josiah instead, which usually spelt correctly but very very regularly sight-read aloud by highly educated professionals as Joshua 🤦🏻‍♀️

But for a place frequented often it's not OK. A nursery should know the children in it.
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I quite agree with the person who wrote the comment (above). A nursery SHOULD know the children in it, and so should a school deputy head! Nor should they publicly berate the child who politely tells them how to pronounce it!

Really? Isaac was a really popular name when my son was at school but I don't know any Josiahs so I would expect the opposite to be true.

I’m sorry, I have no idea what you mean. The opposite of what?

I mean I would expect the majority of people to know how to spell Isaac but not Josiah. Your post said your experience is the opposite to that.

Ah, I see. Your post wasn’t very clear so I appreciate you clarifying

Yes, the misspelling of Isaac as Issac is endemic. It has been mentioned by Isaac parents on this thread and it comes up a lot on the baby name boards. 96 baby boys were legally registered as Issac in 2021. I feel for their future key workers and teachers.

I can confirm this comes up a lot on the baby name boards. My theory is that because ‘aa’ is very unusual in English orthography, people tend to default to the more familiar ‘ss’.

I wasgoing to sugges getting a roll of blank stickers to write the name on and give to the nursery as an/d when required -for pegs, books, labels on art work etc.
But I've spotted a couple of points. Teachers should know there are variants of Stephen/Steven (Shaun/Sean and should ask which one at first sight. And the mum whose son is called Aaron should know that older staff who go to church have the pronunciation of Moses' brother in mind, and not Elvis' middle name. I have checked with a Jewish friend in case I had been labouring under an illusion when a whole string of Elvis versions turned up, instead of the previous Arun/Aran/Arran variants. And if you're used to those you will not think of Aaron as the spelling at first.
I am surprised at the failure to correct when told though. After the first day's register, I always adjusted my usage. The whole class would correct me. As with boy with an Italian father who had named his boy Michelle - ch as k, final e said. I think the teacher before should have warned me. It's not fair on the child to get it wrong. Even once.

That's not how you pronounce Ieuan.

It actually is! But thank you for the tip 😂

It's sometimes said Y-eye-an. Both are fine to me.

It really isn't 🙈 Are you Welsh? Welsh speaking?

Yes I'm Welsh, a Welsh learner and my son is in WM education where he is always referred to as Yay-an.

I can only assume you're misreading my pronounciation?

Had a Welsh colleague by name Ieuan, and he taught us the pronunciation Y-eye-an. He was from Pontadawe and had a pronounced accent which some pupils (Estuary) claimed they could not underestand. He felt the lack of Welsh speakers to talk with as he felt he was losing his own language.

I'm from very near there originally! Rhos, a village just up the hill a bit.

Y-eye-an is how they say it in that neck of the woods 🙂

I think the most important thing is one you've pointed out yourself; at this developmental stage, having them misspell the name would be quite confusing to a young child. You should send them that email, followed up with a call and then in-person. Mention that they are disrespecting his identity.
I've never been fond of my own name, but I would never change it as it is part of my own identity.