Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

[Moonfishstar]

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

I can't believe people are arguing the validity of this claim. Taller men get way more advantages; this ranges from female attention to promotions in work.

I don't know what the big obsession is personally. I could not give two hoots about height. Being in shape, hairy chest, charisma, quiet self confidence are all a big turn on for me.

I agree with you OP btw. So many average men above average height being celebrated for no good reason.

Haha, not sure in what planet you’re on but most of the time women go for the hottest! Especially if they are under 40

Women on the other hand are far more highly tuned to subtle mating signals and factors. Some of them ignore their instincts, sure, but we've developed over thousands of years to be able to spot a wrong un. I think that's the chief problem these whiny men have.

Why do so many women end up with shit men (if MN is anything to go by) then, if we are meant to be so good at spotting wrong uns?

You only have to read the multitude of women on this thread saying that their preference is for men the same height or taller, I'm not sure where the 6ft thing comes from, data from OLD apparently, but it IS a thing that some women want a man who is taller than them, it's been proven on this thread alone.

Are you a man of diminutive stature, OP? 🤔

Ignoring their instincts. Lowering the bar. I said we are able.l to spot artifice and arseholes. I didn't say all women do anything with that information.

Most men I know are below 6ft. None seem to find this a problem!

(My DH is 'only' 5ft 10in, which has always been fine for me)

height may not be a secondary sex characteristic but it is still closely related to sex (and age).

which is why the majority of men are of the same height or taller than the majority of women (especially if that’s people of the same race, ethnicity and age). It therefore really isn’t surprising that this happens to correspond with many women’s preferences.

it would be considerably stranger if most women preferred men to be shorter than them. Or if most men had a strong preference for taller women!

Mine is slightly below 5’9’’ and it honestly isn’t an issue for me.

I’m about 165 and find a 10 cm / 4 inch and I find our height difference rather perfect, tbh. It’s great for kissing ;)

This thread seems to be full of women who are 5 ft 9 to 6 foot. I very VERY rarely see women that tall in real life.

I am also amused by the amount of posters saying they are happy with their DH not being tall. And how his 5 ft 11 stature is just right for them. (Like 5 ft 11 is not tall.) 😆

And their comment is followed by 'he's a good 2-3 inches taller than me - so that's good enough for me' as a cheeky stealth brag that they are 5 ft 8 to 5 ft 9 themselves!

As I said earlier, there are so many posters on here who seem to regard being tall as some kind of achievement. And they always have very tall gangly children who are every athletic and sporty.

As I said though, I rarely see this many tall people in real life. The parallel world of Mumsnet strikes again!

I wouldn’t date anyone shorter than me - oh wait, unlikely as I’m 5’2 in heels. I wish my DH was shorter - he’s a full foot taller than me at 6’2. I feel like a child next to him. But I guess one of us needs to be able to reach the higher shelves in the cupboards - so he has his uses. It wasn’t originally his height that attracted me. Anything over 5’4 would have suited me.

I have hangups around many issues, with men I mean.
I don't like stupid men, I dont like thin men, I'm not keen on tattoos, I'm not keen on stutterers, I dont like loud men -; off the top of my head.

And some of those issues are hard lines. I will not budge no matter the man. I could want to fuck his brains out (and I would do just that) but as a long term, nope. I see no real need to examine that.

And still waiting to hear of the benefits of being open minded.
From a now 5'5 woman living a very long time with a 5'1" man.

OK, but you certainly did sound exactly like one. In any case you now have plenty of contrary evidence not based on dating sites which, as pp have said, are not the only way people meet each other.
As a short person I feel taller men AND women have somewhat of a general life advantage, which again is borne out by (scientific, not online survey) studies, but it's neither automatic nor universal. I certainly see no evidence that women are all " fighting" over a small pool of well above average height men. Average height has increased over time anyway with improvement in nutrition.

I agree with this.

Generally speaking, tall men probably are considered more attractive, all other things being equal.

But few women are going to rule out an otherwise suitable man for not being 'tall enough.' Men who whine about being rejected for being too short probably have other issues which make them unattractive to women.

This is the same as saying "Men would benefit if they were open minded on women's body shape. If only they didn't all want DD+ boobs they could have all sorts of options".

Firstly, it's not true, they don't all want the same thing. And secondly, people are attracted to what they're attracted to. No one can (nor should they have to) force attraction just to find an "option". And it's not the way to do it. No point settling for something that won't make you happy just to be with anyone. Nothing is worth living with someone you don't want to be with.

I’ve dated both over 6ft and under 6ft in the past. I’m 5ft 4 OH is I think 5ft 6 or 7 and stocky. It is of no concern to me in the slightest. A handsome face and being good in bed is more important to me than height.

I was nonplussed by your post.
Who are all these women that only desire men over 6'??!!
Personally I am short - 5'3" - and preferred to go out with men taller than me. Which was most of them.
Eventually I married a man who was around 5'11", it was the physical AND mental attraction that did the job.

🤣

Tall women maybe?!

I have zero awareness of this at all. I don’t have a height bias or phobia, my DH is miniature compared to me and at least 2 inches shorter. It’s all the same lying down 😂

I like men to be taller than me as I kind of feel comforted and looked after... if that makes sense? I can't put it into words. Maybe it is some primal instinct thing...
I have gone out with men that were shorter, and most had the human version of 'small dog syndrome'.
My current guy is the same height as me.

I'm 5 3 and wouldn't want to date someone 6ft. My son's 6 ft 1 and I have to crane my neck to see him when next to him.

I always seem to go for an average height man. All my boyfriends/husband for as long as I can remember have been about 5 9/5 10. Which is about right for me. Taller men also tend to be a bit gangly ime.

I have literally never had a conversation with any women friends who have says they restrict dating based on height so not sure this is as big as a thing as you are suggesting.. Obviously people are attracted to who you are attracted to though and will generally have a "type". Thinking of my friend's partners and husband's they are all varying builds and heights so definitely not any obvious height based selection going on there.

Could this be something you are seeing either just in your friendship group, or maybe in younger people as I do think social media has made people a lot more conscious of appearance.

hmmmm click bait… it worked !!

I get you. A lot of people here don't seem to believe it's a thing, and it shouldnt be, but it is. My fiancé is very slightly taller than me but when I first saw his profile online (we met on a dating site) I ignored him purely due to his height. I'm not sure why really. I do kinda think society instills us with this idea that the man is meant to be taller. Months later I saw his profile again and knew it was familiar but couldn't remember why I'd rejected him previously, so I looked again. Everything else about him was absolutely perfect, exactly what I was looking for. I couldn't believe I'd been so shallow as to reject him due to his height! So, needless to say I wised up and decided to give him a chance. 4+ years later I'm very glad I did because I'm very happy and we're getting married this summer.
I have since paid more attention and realise that while I only know a very small number of couples irl where the girl is taller, in many cases they're about the same height, so taller in heels. Also I've begun to notice celebrity couples where the girl is taller and she never looks like an elephant - rather she often looks Swan like and elegant beside him.
So I was prejudiced and I've learnt that height doesn't matter. I guess that goes for many physical characteristics too.

And if women did date every last one, they'd be sluts and whores who haven't preserved themselves for the Right One (probably a 4'10" squinting spotty incel).