Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

[Moonfishstar]

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

And boy, does it make them angry! Have you ever known a woman, happy with her partner, get that angry with other women who have a different preference? Calling them "retarded" and "insane bints", calling for them to get hysterectomies and spitting about their "junk tier DNA", and getting so enraged they can no longer type properly?

Doesn't sound like someone who's ever been told to #BeKind, does it?

Liking tall men is written into our evolutionary drive. Well, for some of the month anyway. Primates are meant to go for the protective large type when ovulating, to produce the best offspring. And go for providers and carers to raise said offspring.

There is something rather instinctual about tall men being attractive. They speak to the primate in us that values dominance and power. That's really just society reflecting years and years of evolution rather than the other way round.

I'm very aware that I'm attracted to different men at different times of the month or reproductive life. I have a type but massively deviate from this at times. It's interesting. (No my type isn't 6'3 like the op or 5' nothing like her Mra friend. Something in-between)

Men obviously have a drive to find the best mate still in that they go for obvious fertility signs. Although being less high stakes for them they're less tuned into what's real imo, hence they struggle to tell plastic surgery, make up enhancement, hair, clothes and even if it's a ladyboy.

Women on the other hand are far more highly tuned to subtle mating signals and factors. Some of them ignore their instincts, sure, but we've developed over thousands of years to be able to spot a wrong un. I think that's the chief problem these whiny men have.

It sounded to me that the intelligentsia had finally arrived to honour us with their articulate and thoughtful contribution to the thread. I have immediately reviewed my previous opinions in light of their erudite input.😂

Haha the protective tall male theory going on here which is utter rubbish, who do women need protecting from? Statistically have a guess?

Weak men with a chip on their shoulder and a point to prove?

No usually large aggressive males if you going with the primate and human crime stats theory.

So, men in prison are statistically taller?

I agree with PP, in a society where men hold the power the concept had very little meaning and is mainly just a way of calling women 'bitter' and 'nasty' that they think makes them sound intelligent
Agree with this.

There's some excellent debates and discussions on here about gender, gender roles, men and woman in relationships (and many other topics). There's lots of threads where posters side with the man in the situation too as well as threads where women are challenged. There's some threads with valid "would we say the same if sexes were reversed" posts and some ridiculous "if the sexes were reversed nobody would say it" posts where the sex of the people is completely relevant to the discussion so flipping the sexes doesn't work. Most people manage those discussions fine, even if they have a different opinion.

It's a certain type of poster, in my experience, who tend to jump to claims of misandry, usually posters who drop crumbs of incel or MRA or "I'm just a cool girl who isn't like the other mean women" rhetoric. In those situations I tend to mentally replace "misandry" claims with any of the following: "women are saying things I don't like about a man/about male pattern behaviour" or "women are saying no to men and that makes me angry" or "how dare women have boundaries and stop centring the penis".

Of course some women care. Your comment was really dismissive of someome who, like me, has personally never encountered that preference among their female friends, though. That’s why it comes across like you’re convinced all women care about height when they obviously don't.

Many years ago when I was online dating, I had it clearly written in my profile I was 5 ft 11. The amount of 5ft 8 guys I met who said "wow I didn't think you would be so tall" was very off putting. Like, dude I clearly said I was very tall!! Actual feet and inches was clearly stated. Put many men off. My husband who is 6ft 1 and shorter that me on the rare occasion I choose to wear heels still jokes about it. You can't choose your height but you can choose the person you wish to share a bed with.

Many people want a million quid but they ain't never gona get it lol. Just because a woman might say they want a tall guy it doesn't mean it will happen and she will most likely be fine with some one of around 5ft 8 to 5ft 10 inches. I have never heard any women mention mens height to me accept for on one occassion when a guy was shorter than my friend and she didnt like that. The average height for a man in England is 5ft 9 and for a woman it's 5Ft 3. So long as you are a few inches taller than the woman, women generally dont really care about a man being tall. Am 5ft 2 and I would be fine dating a man who's 5 ft 5 or 5 ft 6.

Am 5.11 definitely don't want to feel the butch one. Tall men only for me!

needlessly excluding

People can exclude anyone from their dating pools for any reason they want. There's nothing "needless" about it. I excluded men from certain religions and cultures, and men with certain jobs from my dating pool. Is that also "needless"?

Honestly, it's not height that prevents me dating, it's the sheer fuckwittery of most me.

OK. You first …

People can exclude anyone from their dating pools for any reason they want. There's nothing "needless" about it. I excluded men from certain religions and cultures, and men with certain jobs from my dating pool. Is that also "needless"?
Agreed. It's such a shame that women saying "no" to men upsets some men.

I imagine they have a very fragile sense of masculinity. The decent men who are secure in themselves rarely seem to be so animated about not being someone's cup of tea, and don't feel the need to berate women for liking other men.

It's also a shame that some women feel the need to tell other women off for having dating preferences, suggesting they need a good enough reason to say no.

I've never met a living soul who cared how tall men were. My husband is just 6ft, but i wouldn't be good at gauging height and I didn't know this when I met him. It of course was not his height that attracted me.

Both our adult sons are under 6ft, neither of them have ever had issues over their height, or problems finding lovely partners. It's just been a total non issue.

I'm thinking through my friendship and family groups and we have loads of shorties and none have had problems.

I think maybe if that's the lens on acceptability, then some people are really missing out....but who wants a partner with such shallow ideals?. All the short men in my life have found lovely partners who like them for so much more than what they look like or how tall they are...

I've never dated anyone taller than me, but then I'm over 6ft in heels. It's also quite challenging to find a decent man who is willing to date someone taller than them I find.

So no I don't think that women would benefit from being willing to date shorter guys unless shorter guys are willing to date taller women.

I also think attraction is what it is to an extent.

I’m 5ft 8 so want a guy taller than me, so 5ft 10 (or on tinder a guy that said 6ft as most lie about their height ;-) ).
personally, it’s annoying when females of say 5ft 4 say they only want the 6ft guys- surely a 5ft 8 guy would be perfect for them & leave the taller guys for the taller women lol!!

Height has never bothered me, in fact I dated two men at/ over 6’5 and they both suffered with back problems - and shopping reality was getting stopped in every isle to get something off a high shelf for someone 😅.
DH is 5’10 and perfect!

I don’t think women do this in real life, I think this myth comes from men blaming their incompetence on their short stature rather than heir other shortcomings.

I'm not so sure. My ex is 5 foot 5 and when we met he had a history of being turned down by women who specifically told him he was too short.

I do think short men have a dating disadvantage, but so have overweight or less attractive women. It certainly doesn't mean they won't find anyone, especially if they've got a lot to offer elsewhere. People who aren't conventionally attractive get partners all the time. When I think of the few people I know who have never had a significant relationship, I really do not believe that it's solely down to how they look; they are perfectly ordinary looking people and worse looking people get partners all the time.

I've noticed that I'm taller than quite a lot of men at the gym (I'm 5'6"). Maybe some of them are making up for it by working out. Some of them are very good looking and well built.

What planet are you on?

People like who they like. But the major criteria for choosing a lifelong partner is unlikely to be height. I think intelligence, integrity, values, goals, interests, are of slightly more interest.

I sincerely hope you've just got the hots for a short man and are just worried about your friends reactions - when in reality they don't give a damn what he looks like, if you and he are happy and good to each other.

Doesn’t bother me, or most people I know. Very tall women tend to end up with men of the same height or taller though imo. My DH is about and inch taller than me, shorter if I wear heels.