My son was filmed using the toilet at school

[chrissycn]

My 18 year old son is in 6th Form at our local high school. Today he was in a toilet cubicle when a gang of boys came into the room, they started kicking the toilet door, breaking the lock. My son held the door shut with his feet so they pushed a mobile phone through a gap and filmed him on the toilet. He reported it and an investigation has begun using school CCTV outside the toilet. They have narrowed down all the boys there at the time and will take their statements and check their phones.

I want to report this to the police but my son is very hesitant and he wants to leave school to deal with it. WWYD? AIBU to go against my son's wishes and report to the police? For full disclosure he is autistic and mentally younger than 18.

I’d ask for the school policies regarding this and if they have a crime reference number and see what their response is. A lot of schools try to play down bad behaviour. Yes ofsted need to be contacted if they haven’t followed their policies as it’s a safeguarding concern. I would try and get your son on board with how you’re feeling.

This is absolute nonsense.

Please report this to the police. Your poor son.

@chrissycn Oh that's appalling.
At my school that sort of thing happened in junior school {Boys looking over top...} and that was distressing enough.

But phones?

At 18?

REPORT REPORT REPORT.

Desperately awful behaviour.
Shameless bullying.

6th form!? What an immature bunch of boys! That's the sort of behaviour you might expect from much younger boys.

Oh believe you me - post 16 behaviour can be very unpleasant indeed.

@chrissycn It makes one feel so vulnerable when stuck in a place and the door is being kicked in, especially a lavatory cubicle.
Many decades have passed since I was at school with boys looking over the top of the cubicle, but I still remember it vividly.
It made me not want to use the loos at school at all.

I really hope your son isn't long term affected by this.

That's what I thought...like junior school age.

But it's not the actions of intelligent boys.

One can guarantee that the boys involved in this invasive bullying will be thugs of little merit.

No intelligent teenager would find it remotely interesting to bother another student in the lavatory.

Yes they do, @oakleaffy . You'd be surprised.

That’s literally hate crime! Police.

Call the police. It will support school to have the police involved. Unfortunately we are up against more and more kids and families that find this behaviour acceptable and won’t accept punishments for what they defend as ‘banter’. We have no power to prosecute so please do call the police.

Sorry I confess I haven’t read all replies but if people have no legal knowledge can they stop giving advice on it saying police won’t be interested? This is voyeurism, a serious offence so OP if you or your son want to report you are correct to do so.

There were two separate incidents involving violence / threats in the boys' toilets in my child's school (but no filming) in the last 3/4 years (that I know of). I'm not sure if the police were contacted, but in both cases the school took a hard line and the ringleaders were expelled and the sidekicks suspended.
It is very serious. The filming makes it more so. I think it is appropriate and necessary to involve the police.

Safeguarding is something OFSTED take very seriously.

Because the law gives it to them. Head teachers and staff authorised by the head have the power by law to search a pupil's phone if they reasonably suspect it has pornographic images, or that it has been used, or is likely to be used, to commit an offence.

The school do have the power to look at pupil's phones. However, I agree with those posters who say you should report this to the police.

This

Police. If those 16yr olds haven't already learned that actions have consequences, they need a hard lesson, fast. Your DS will soon be out of school - he needs to know that this behaviour is completely unacceptable and he does NOT have to put up with it. Advocate for him. Show him the world is on his side, not the bullies.

The OP states her son is 18 and the perpetrators were 15/16. This is a horrible, unjustifiable incident however it may not be a hate crime, they are a different year and might not even know the OP’s son and this could be a disgusting prank. The OP’s son should take the lead on navigating how to proceed with support from his parent(s). Her son is in the 6th form and has expressed his wish not to involve the police at this time. Young adults with ASD should be helped to make decisions themselves (unless they are completely unable to do so) and this does not seem to be the case here. OP how is your son feeling about things now?

Edit: I do however think the OP knows her son best and should encourage him to report/report on his behalf if he is significantly cognitively younger than his years or feels he is in further danger.

What an upsetting experience OP. I agree that it is very serious, and that the police should probably be involved, but it did only happen today (well yesterday now) so you don't know yet that school aren't planning to report it. I'd see what happens today, how seriously the school seem to be taking it, and decide next steps from there.

Is your son in upper sixth? If so then hopefully just a few more weeks to go before he can get clear out of there.

Definitely report to police

I would call the police. The victim isn’t a minor but could reasonably be classed as a vulnerable adult, and the incident has happened in a school. Even if an adult did this to another adult in a public place, it would still be a crime. If nothing else, police involvement might frighten the perpetrators enough to delete the footage and not circulate it.

I actually think the school has a duty of care and this is a safeguarding issue that they should include the police in. I would discuss this with school and say you want the police to be notified by them.

Op, I am so sorry.
It made me so angry to read this thread. Your poor DS. My heart goes out to him.

I think report to the police too. If it isn't a police matter, then they will tell you that. But I strongly suspect that actually it is a criminal matter.

@EveryonesMother yes, I agree re the safeguarding too.