My son was filmed using the toilet at school

[chrissycn]

My 18 year old son is in 6th Form at our local high school. Today he was in a toilet cubicle when a gang of boys came into the room, they started kicking the toilet door, breaking the lock. My son held the door shut with his feet so they pushed a mobile phone through a gap and filmed him on the toilet. He reported it and an investigation has begun using school CCTV outside the toilet. They have narrowed down all the boys there at the time and will take their statements and check their phones.

I want to report this to the police but my son is very hesitant and he wants to leave school to deal with it. WWYD? AIBU to go against my son's wishes and report to the police? For full disclosure he is autistic and mentally younger than 18.

I don’t want to edit my post again. Also absolutely police and school governors.

Did he pick the phone up? Hopefully there won't be much if anything filmed but I agree with ringing the police if your son agrees, he is an adult after all so it's his decision.

Pre mobiles, but I had some kids barge their way into the loo on me when I was at school. To this day it’s an awful memory.

Your poor son. If it were me I’d be doing everything I could to make sure the little shits were probably punished.

Happened to me in the 70s, a boy kicked the door in, breaking the latch, and a group of them stood there laughing at me.

This is not a 'people these days' thing.

To answer a few questions, the boys were approximately 15 or16 years old, my son is a 6th form student at their school and this happened during lesson time. I also doubt that the school have the power to look at their phones, but they said that's their plan. We have reported it to the governors, Head teacher, Head of 6th form and Director of 6th Form so far.

Thank you for all you kind messages for my son, I have passed them onto him.

I agree on both counts.

OP, I'm a retired HoD/Faculty Head (Scottish state secondary). In my experience, the school might do very little. In order to protect your son, you need to go go to the police.

1. Someone could be disseminating images of your son.

2)Given your son's ASD, this could well constitute a hate crime.

Schools do have the legal right to search phones with good reason.

However, if they think it may contain an indecent image of a child, they should not intentionally view it.

I would absolutely report to the police. As your son is disabled it could be treated as a hate crime.

The phone was pushed between a gap between the cubicle and the wall due to pipes on the wall. He tried to grab the phone but couldn't get it.

You have a point
At any stage did the yobs shout anyhting and if so, do you know what was being shouted?

It is 'flagged with Ofsted' by way of an inspection, if you think you know what they do then you'll know that this information is looked at during an inspection

Ofsted arent police, safeguarding issues are analysed and assessed during their visits

No wonder public bodies simply cant cope under the sheer weight of inappropriate referrals/contact/requests

This is first and foremost a school issue, second a police matter if the adult victim wants to report it. I would be surprised if the police do anything with it but that shouldnt stop repoting because there needs to be a record of the report on the perpetrators' PNC

OP, this is awful and I am so sorry for your DS. I am very glad for what you have done so far.

I do think the school’s plans sound rather feeble. For that reason I would give the school a short while to act, and then report to Ofsted if the outcome is not satisfactory. As your DS is 18 I think the decision about going to the police must be his. If you can make him see that by doing so he is helping to prevent further crimes, would that motivate him?

Very best wishes to DS

Im so sorry this happened to your son. I hope he is ok.

I would absolutely go to the police about this. Its disgraceful that this happened and it may not have been the first incident your son has experienced.

If you talk to him about why its so important that the police know about do you think he might be willing to speak to them.

I agree - call the police. Phone the Principal/ Head of year and let them know how it is effecting your son. In fact go to the school and demand a meeting ASAP.
Is there an Inclusion department in school?
your son needs a safe place to go to in school.
Leadership Team should be made aware of this so they can help your son and make him feel safe. This is a serious safeguarding issue.
Why should your son miss out on his education!!
The boys need to be suspended pending investigation. The parents need to be informed as well.
Best wishes.

This isn't the first time boys have tried to kick in the toilet door at school but it's the only time they have stepped over the line and filmed him.

Police definitely, now.

School governors next, if not sufficiently dealt with.

Did you miss the fact that they filmed him on the toilet? That's much worse than your example and would be very unlikely to have happened in the 70s.

For the OP's son it's not just a group of boys laughing for a few days it's potentially anyone in the world for an indefinite period, if they spread the video online.

In Scotland, the school's Child Protection Officer should contact the police if there are worries over the possibility of an inappropriate image. England should have a similar protocol, I imagine.

I don't have any advice other than I'd definitely be going to the police, but I despair at this! What awful behaviour - I hope your son isn't too traumatised.

Are senior management aware of the previous incidents? How were they dealt with? I’m thinking this is a safeguarding fail
on their part.

Toilets at my school were a lawless zone but thankfully the 6th form had separate toilets.

I think you need to be asking for a safe toilet provision for your son.

They could start by banning phones on school premises and not letting kids out of lessons in groups.

I had no idea of the previous incidents until now. However, school are very aware of the issue and have staff outside the toilets during lunch and break time to supervise. They have also closed some of the boys toilet blocks that have been smashed up. Students are now leaving class to do this when the area is unsupervised.

No you’re wrong, it is first and foremost a Police/Criminal matter and the school should (a) know that and (b) be supporting.

Schools are not Fiefdoms where the SMT get to allow violent thugs and predators free reign over children, including vulnerable children, because it suits some warped agenda.

OPs son deserves the same response as you would want for your aged mother.

How horrible for your son.

Do let the police know, but as he's 18 they might not do anything aside without talking to him too.

Wait and see what the school does before going nuclear - at the very least I'd expect a strong response in terms of protecting your son going forward e.g. is there an alternative toilet he can use which is a single cubicle with a full door? It sounds like they're trying to do something about the toilet issue so that's a good sign.

Schools can't demand to go through phones but can ask. They can also say they want to watch the video/ pictures being deleted. If it has been put online (i hope not), then report remove from childline might be worth looking at.

Absolutely Governors next.
The boys are low life bullies. Picking on a lovely vulnerable boy!!
Be assertive. The school needs to put a plan in place to keep your boy safe.
The year manager should send an email to his teachers to keep an eye on him.
Support staff can escort him ( discreetly) to the toilet.