Hi everyone. Just a bit of background. I met DH 10 years ago whilst up north for Uni. I was born and raised in London and he is from Yorkshire. We have been living in London for the last 3 years. We have one DS and a baby on the way.
Myself and DH have felt that London has become far too expensive for us. Our rent is extremely high and we aren’t able to do things as a family like days out etc. We both have good steady jobs (completely remote) but don’t feel comfortable living here. With another baby on the way, we have been weighing up our options and have looked at a few areas in south Manchester to buy our first home. We absolutely fell in love with the area. We could easily afford a 3-4 bedroom house near good schools. Another plus is we’d be close to DH’s huge family so would have support nearby. I have a very small family and not much support. It would be an easy move for us.
I brought this up with DM and her reaction was terrible. I mean, really terrible. There were lots of tears and she basically said she felt extremely betrayed and disappointed that we would consider moving. She said she has sacrificed so much for us and couldn’t believe we’d consider leaving her (my DF passed away 4 Years ago and she lives with DB). I explained to her that we’d never abandon her and she would be welcome to stay with us as much as she’d like. Plus i would always make an effort to visit her. She was livid and said she just couldn’t allow us to move. She even went so far to say she couldn’t understand where she went wrong in raising me. I felt so guilty and hurt after our conversation.
But on reflection I just feel so angry. The whole conversation was about her and how she felt. She didn’t once ask us for our reasoning for moving or the pros and cons. I feel completely manipulated. I understand it would be a hard adjustment for her but realistically, not much would change. We already live over an hour away from her and see her once or twice a month. She’s busy with work and so are we. We have separate lives and I think it’s better that way, instead of living on top of each other.
I really feel I need to put my growing family first and I think this move would be great for us. But I’m scared DM will end up cutting ties with me. AIBU to want to move?