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Original poster

To be annoyed he cancelled and lied.

145 replies

namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 12:50

Had a date planned with a guy from online dating.

Day comes and I ask him what time as we hadn't set that. He tells me he had to go away and it was impromptu, apologised and we can reschedule when he's back.

I decided to check his online profile. This particular dating site tells you what area user was in when he was last online.

His showed he was in Belgium. Flitting between 2 different towns over there.
We messaged back and forth and his location was still showing Belgium.

Monday comes and he asks how my weekend was and I ask him where he went off to. He tells me he had to go to the Lakes for a couple of days. Blatant lie. Not a stalker but I did keep checking the location as something seems a bit off. If he had to go away could he not have told me this a day or 2 before?

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 15/04/2024 12:57

He's lying. Don't bother going further with him.

I decided to check his online profile. This particular dating site tells you what area user was in when he was last online.
Not a stalker but I did keep checking the location

🙄

EmpressSoleil · 15/04/2024 12:58

Just don't go on a date with him. If you're already feeling like you need to "check up" on him, then he's not for you. I'm not sure OLD as a whole is for you.

Given you haven't met yet, there could be numerous reasons why he didn't tell you where he was going. Quite honestly it's none of your business at this stage. If I was meeting someone and found out they were stalking where I spent my weekend, I'd run!

blueandwhitesquares · 15/04/2024 12:59

Bunny boiler

Ace56 · 15/04/2024 13:00

He cancelled, so the ball is in his court now to reschedule. Don’t chase him.

The lying is a bit odd but seeing as you haven’t even met yet, you have no connection at all so he doesn’t owe you anything.

Original poster
namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 13:00

So sick of OLD but genuinely dont know how to meet someone anymore.

OP posts:
pootlin · 15/04/2024 13:00

You should have asked him what were you up to, not where did he go.

Because then when he said he was in the lakes, you could have asked how come your location said Belgium.

If location is a feature of this app then it’s not stalkerific to ask.

My small cousins are on Snapchat, they’re always asking why I’m at x location.

TeaKitten · 15/04/2024 13:03

It’s a bit intense to be checking on his location all weekend and then question to see if he will lie. Maybe online dating just isn’t for you. If he was being honest you’d be the creep in the situation and that’s not attractive at all.

TimeGrabsYouByTheWrist · 15/04/2024 13:03

Are you sure the location is not being given from a proxy server or VNP thing so it won't give your location?

My ex used something like this so his logins came from odd places! My kids phone my mobile from their bedrooms on an echodot and it comes up as the call being from the USA!

ps - there's lots of lakes in Belgium.

If you want to cyber stalk him, you'll need to look for social media posts showing any photos for that date!

Janetime · 15/04/2024 13:08

Have you even met him? This is stalking him. Sitting repeatedly checking his location. Do you not understand how creepy and unhealthy that is? It’s also none of your business where he actually was.

Catza · 15/04/2024 13:10

I can't imagine what possessed you to stalk him or to think that he owes you any explanation. Maybe his close relative died in Belgium and he didn't feel like he wanted to share this particular detail with a stranger from the internet.
Completely unreasonable behaviour on your part, I'm afraid and, regardless of his reasons for lying, I would stay off dating entirely.

BodyKeepingScore · 15/04/2024 13:11

Goodness... you're investing an awful lot of energy in stalking the whereabouts of someone you haven't even met? He lied to you. You may monitored his location all weekend. Sounds like you both dodged a bullet.

Olika · 15/04/2024 13:14

Just forget him and move on.

MyBreezyPombear · 15/04/2024 13:17

There are lakes in Belgium? How do you know it was a lie?

I can't believe you were checking his location over the weekend, you've not even met the guy.

Jolene25 · 15/04/2024 13:24

Did he say he was going to the lakes in the UK?

ilovesooty · 15/04/2024 13:27

None of your business where he was really. Up to him to offer to reschedule though since he cancelled.

Janetime · 15/04/2024 13:30

Belgium isn’t a shameful place to go. It’s not like someone would hide it. So possibly the app was wrong.

either way stalking a stranger is really concerning. As is your level of over investment in this one person.

EmmaEmerald · 15/04/2024 13:32

Agree with the VPN possibility.

if anyone tied to track me, they'd be baffled.

why does the website do that? Weird - no wait, I just remembered, hook up sites started like that!

olivebranch31 · 15/04/2024 13:47

A bit strange yes, but not as strange as you checking his location, sorry.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 15/04/2024 13:54

Not a stalker?
Imagine this was the other way round....
I told a bloke I'd not met yet that i was going to X city and he checked up on me.
You'd be told to run a mile from the red flags

Original poster
namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 13:56

I just want to add this isn't the first time he's cancelled. More like the 3rd, that's why I decided to check. He doesn't give me notice. He waits until I ask him on the date , whether we're still on, time etc.

I won't be chasing up with him, as I've more than taken the hint.

OP posts:
Janetime · 15/04/2024 13:59

namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 13:56

I just want to add this isn't the first time he's cancelled. More like the 3rd, that's why I decided to check. He doesn't give me notice. He waits until I ask him on the date , whether we're still on, time etc.

I won't be chasing up with him, as I've more than taken the hint.

So you’ve never met and he’s cancelled 3 times? You do understand he’s just playing you. Right?

Original poster
namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 13:59

Also this would be our 3rd official date. We are still matched on the dating app. And so far every dates I thought was great.

OP posts:
Original poster
namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 14:00

Janetime · 15/04/2024 13:59

So you’ve never met and he’s cancelled 3 times? You do understand he’s just playing you. Right?

Show quote history

I have met him . 3 dates.

OP posts:
Catladyireland · 15/04/2024 14:02

This is the problem with online dating. People are so flakey and rude. They get distracted by the next person along. You have to learn how to do that too or you'll drive yourself mad

He owes you nothing but you need to gain back some respect and ignore him now

CheeryPye · 15/04/2024 14:03

You haven't met him and invest all that time checking up on him? Not exactly healthy behaviour on your own part. If a man admitted doing this with a woman he hadn't met he'd get slaughtered.