To be annoyed he cancelled and lied.

[namechangingforthis100]

Had a date planned with a guy from online dating.

Day comes and I ask him what time as we hadn't set that. He tells me he had to go away and it was impromptu, apologised and we can reschedule when he's back.

I decided to check his online profile. This particular dating site tells you what area user was in when he was last online.

His showed he was in Belgium. Flitting between 2 different towns over there.
We messaged back and forth and his location was still showing Belgium.

Monday comes and he asks how my weekend was and I ask him where he went off to. He tells me he had to go to the Lakes for a couple of days. Blatant lie. Not a stalker but I did keep checking the location as something seems a bit off. If he had to go away could he not have told me this a day or 2 before?

Hell yeah - Belgium has a beautiful Lake District

There's even a cycle path through it

Quite!

Because OP states she wasn't stalking but then goes onto say that "I did keep checking the location" - suggesting more than a single casual glance. Which is where posters have picked up on a bit of a 'creep' factor in relation to OP.

However, she's likely quite right to bin him as he's cancelled on her more times than he's seen her. Incidentally, the Belgian Lake Districts are gorgeous

All this ‘he doesn’t owe you anything’ nonsense drives me mad

everybody should treat others with respect and honesty in these situations. He absolutely owes you that.

however, the fact he keeps cancelling does mean sadly he’s not that in to you and I would move on from him and forget him

If you have suspicions and a legal way to check, it isn’t foolish to do so.

Agree that he’s far too flakey and should be dropped for that, but if you hadn’t come to that conclusion already, checking up on him was a sensible thing to do. Glad you didn’t just sit there feeling disconcerted but as though you had no choice but to take his word for it.

Move on, it’s harsh but he’s just not interested- he wouldn’t have cancelled 3 times if he was

Apart from the fact that, as several posters have pointed out, there are lots of reasons why your location on the app might be wrong, and also Belgium has lakes…

So he’s not keen. That’s that.

@JenniferBooth and what's cool about that?

Surely most 99.9% of people living in the uk would say Belgium if they went to “the lakes” in belgium and say the lakes if they went to the Lake District.

it’s like someone saying oh I went to Scarborough beach for the weekend when they actually mean a niche coastal town I. Western Australia.

he’s either being deliberately obtuse or he’s lying. Both of which deserve a block.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to note his location if your talking about tinder, it’s pretty much there in your face….. actively digging would be a bit off considering the limited interactions….

Online dating is def annoying, but he’s also not exclusively with you and please don’t think you’re the only person he’s speaking to, because you def will not be.

If you have fun with him, leave the ball in his court, but continue to date other people and don’t put all your eggs in one basket so soon! Good luck 😊

My own laptop usually thinks I’m 250 miles away from where I actually am even when I’m using it so I wouldn’t necessarily trust the App’s location finder. Maybe just try being normal

Your gut instinct is not to trust him. You don't know him. You don't have a relationship with him.

Life is short. Don't waste your very valuable youth on people who don't have good manners and are not particularly bothered breaking a date with you.

You're not that important to him. And you're already running around after him, checking up on him. That is a bit sad and desperate.

Just go find someone a little more reliable and likeable.

I wonder why the UK has readily imported the multi dating trend which has been going on in America for years but has not adopted the same way that the Americans deal with owed Child Support.
Could it be that the former benefits men and the latter does completely the opposite!

Checking current locations on a dating app. How dangerous and handy for a stalker..

I understand your statement. But are you saying women shouldn’t date multiple people? What is your suggestion?

I haven’t online dated for over 10 years but my conclusion was from my previous flurry pre swipe culture is that its shouldn’t be too much to expect an adult male to be an effective communicator with some emotional maturity but that you have to demand this as a basic benchmark . Trust me just this will cull a lot of the deadwood . Next that gut instinct thats nagging at you to the point of detective work just save yourself the tailspin and trust your gut he is not being straight forward or respectful of your time he is not the one for you 😘

I go to the lakes walking often and have more than once received random texts like you get when you arrive abroad on holiday from network provider saying ‘welcome to France’ or ‘welcome to the Isle of Man’ it is bizarre but I think maybe the nature of being on top of a large hill in an area with little network coverage like a glitch….maybe this is similar and he really was in the lakes 🤷🏻‍♀️

online dating is full of horrible people, but there are some good ones too. As soon as you see a red flag like this, move on. It was a red flag that he hadn’t rescheduled earlier regardless of what country he was in.

you should check out Lalalaletmeexplain. She’s on Instagram & has an audiobook. I found her really helpful when I was dating.