To be annoyed he cancelled and lied.

[namechangingforthis100]

Had a date planned with a guy from online dating.

Day comes and I ask him what time as we hadn't set that. He tells me he had to go away and it was impromptu, apologised and we can reschedule when he's back.

I decided to check his online profile. This particular dating site tells you what area user was in when he was last online.

His showed he was in Belgium. Flitting between 2 different towns over there.
We messaged back and forth and his location was still showing Belgium.

Monday comes and he asks how my weekend was and I ask him where he went off to. He tells me he had to go to the Lakes for a couple of days. Blatant lie. Not a stalker but I did keep checking the location as something seems a bit off. If he had to go away could he not have told me this a day or 2 before?

So you've been on 2 dates and he's cancelled 3 additional dates? Was the 2nd date after one of the cancellations or before his first cancellation?

You seem very, very over-invested in a man you've only met two or three times, and honestly, I think he's had a lucky escape.

I think there's actually a place in Belgium called the Belgian lakes or the great lakes or something?

You're being stalkery and creepy. He dodged a bullet, IMO.

3 dates and you check his location multiple times? Dating might not be a good idea for you right now, sometimes we need to work on ourselves before we get into a relationship.

Not a stalker but I did keep checking the location as something seems a bit off. If he had to go away could he not have told me this a day or 2 before?

Sounds like he got a lucky escape if you are already obsessing over his location enough to keep checking.
Another good reason for me to give OLD a skip.

He was a bit flakey not letting you know he couldn't make the date until you asked him that day for a time.

You are being OTT stalking the guy, someone you haven't even met yet. Can you imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and he was checking on your location?

Saw your update that it's date 3. Still not cool for you to be checking his location.

The last minute cancelling would put me off. No idea why he lied about where he was and think it's slightly odd that you stalked him! I'd probably move on and not see him again.

What site is it? As I know one in particular is unreliable for locations

Dump anyway. He only told you he was unavailable when you asked, on the actual day. Thats rude.

For god sake, there’s thousands of guys OLD, why on earth would you put up with this?

The cancel once- move on, unless your a few dates in, really like them and they postpone- book in another date and are really apologetic. Not waiting for you to chase and then say they are going away.

Take a brutal approach to online dating- don’t take shit and move on if they try it. Look at the bonfire method- how do
you find a needle in a haystack- you burn it to the ground. Think volume and as soon as someone does something that makes you less than happy move on.

There's so many liars on OLD that are playing all sorts of games that I don't blame you for checking up on him, especially when he's cancelled 3 dates and not bothered to tell you.

You've only been on 3 dates and he's cancelled three others - either he's too busy for a relationship or he's just not that bothered. Even worse to not let you know he has to cancel but just wait for you to ask. I'd just block him and move on.

I think it's a little too much to check his whereabouts but I think something in your gut told you this was a lie. I would just not go further and it sounds as though that's what you have decided to do anyway.

He waits for you to ask him on a date?

is that right?

You have to suggest, initiate?

For me that would be my biggest red flag.

Men who are interested chase at least a bit, especially at the start.

Its hard but I think he’s just not that into you.

He may well be seeing other women on the weekend elsewhere but that’s none of your business if you’ve only got to three dates. I hate the dating world as it is now. It used to be you’d date one person exclusively and then move to the next person. But at least it means you don’t waste time this way. You could be out on other dates with other men. I suggest you do that if you what to distract yourself from this one.

Unless a man initiates I’m out. I never ever chase and I see a lot of women getting hurt who do.

Find someone else who does want to see you.

Did you sleep with him? Is that why you’re so invested?

Hold back on that stuff if you can’t stop yourself from getting emotionally attached. It’s not worth it. Treat yourself better. And then other people will value you more too.

That's a bit harsh. I see it as OP just not wanting to be pissed about.

I don't think either of you come out of it smelling like roses.

He is rude and disrespectful. Potentially deliberately making some weird power play to see how much he can disrespect you and still have you begging him to say when he'll see you. NOT a keeper.

You sound waaaay overinvested in some bloke you barely know, obsessing over where he is and checking his location. Yikes. I'd find that creepy from my spouse, let alone some random from OLD. You are also not entitled to know any details of his private life at this stage. If my boyfriend of a year was telling me that he'd been to the lakes when I knew he'd actually been abroad, yeah that would be a big red flag and completely unacceptable and weird. But you've only met this guy a handful of times. He's more or less a stranger. He doesn't owe you details of his plans or anything.

You sound like you both need to address your attitudes to relationships and you definitely don't sound well matched with each other.

I agree...can't understand why some people think OP is wrong to check him out and then she can decide to bin him or not.

There are lakes in Belgium? Haha
No, it is clear he's a bit shifty. Bit it's early days. I wouldn't necessarily tell my dates my exact movements.

FFS you're already tracking him? He needs to run and run fast. You need to have a word with yourself.

I don´t see why people think you are being unreasonable. Your gut tells you something´s wrong, you checked, bin him. Personally I would bin him for the cancellations last minute. That thells you he isn´t that into you. Probably got others on the go.

I use a VPN for everything. I don’t ever look at anything without a VPN

it could be that?

This guy dodged a terrifying bullet, bloody hell

It's due diligence, not stalking.

Don't pretend you all wouldn't be curious about a new date if he seemed shifty. It's not "stalking" if the information is right there, publicly available under your nose.