To be annoyed he cancelled and lied.

[namechangingforthis100]

Had a date planned with a guy from online dating.

Day comes and I ask him what time as we hadn't set that. He tells me he had to go away and it was impromptu, apologised and we can reschedule when he's back.

I decided to check his online profile. This particular dating site tells you what area user was in when he was last online.

His showed he was in Belgium. Flitting between 2 different towns over there.
We messaged back and forth and his location was still showing Belgium.

Monday comes and he asks how my weekend was and I ask him where he went off to. He tells me he had to go to the Lakes for a couple of days. Blatant lie. Not a stalker but I did keep checking the location as something seems a bit off. If he had to go away could he not have told me this a day or 2 before?

My laoptop often thinks I'm in SA because of the VPN routing through a server there or something.

I'm female and I agree that the poster sounds like a nutter after 3 dates being so invested and stalker like.

You could be completely wrong if he uses a vpn. Many people do now as an extra online security method. The location will be completely wrong if you use one, and that's the point of it to give you extra security. It's pretty sensible to do this in the modern world with so many online predators.

Which one? 😂

VPN my first thought when I read this too, even possibly TOR if IPs were changing. The fact you do this after not even meeting, I'd be telling him to run a mile!

He’s a man you haven’t met yet so in all honesty he owes you absolutely nothing

I think your focus should be more on the fact he's cancelled on you 3 times at the last minute. That shows he's not bothered about you in the slightest.
You've only been on 3 dates and you're already checking up on whether he's lying to you.
I'd give this one a wide berth

He needs to run for the hills.

This is concerning behaviour from OP. Not even in a relationship at this stage and checking his location? I'm more concerned about that than what is more than likely a VPN issue.

I think when you said he’s cancelled three times people thought you hadn’t met yet.
I don’t know about whether he’s in Belgium or not, seems a strange lie, but just take the hint he’s not that bothered.

She's had 3 dates with him so far, says so in previous posts.

Ghost him

I wouldn't take the location from a third party site as being totally accurate.

However as you say he has a habit of cancelling, I'd probably give him up as a bad job.

But maybe work on why you feel the need to stalk someone's every movement?

Why are so many people acting as if OP is unreasonable? The guy is clearly wasting her time, whether he was in Belgium or not, he's messing her around. OP is not a stalker, I doubt she's going to check his location again now that she's decided he's not worth it.

If lots of you would be willing to be played by him, cos "I'm not a stalker" then more fool you.

Don’t give up. I’m about to marry an amazing man who I met through OLD after being on and off the apps for about two years.

know your standards and worth, listen to your gut and don’t settle. X

I used to have a spreadsheet lol

I thought I was the only person who did this ha! I’m married now and it was a drama when my spouse saw the historical spreadsheet 😅

He doesn't think you're important enough to give plenty of notice to. You're worth more than that.

If you've had enough of OLD, have you joined any hobby groups? Mixed sports groups can be good.

You're checking his profiles already?

HE'S had a lucky escape 🤷‍♀️

This guy is not for you. He is not interested in you - if he was, he'd be making plans with you and sticking to them! Don't waste your time anymore, I understand you like(d) him and that's why you checked up on him, hoping he had a good reason for standing you up. It seems like he did not, but even if he did, he should have explained himself better. You are worth more than this - block this guy and move on. I hope you'll find someone better soon!!

This is why so many women get treated like shit. The guy has cancelled 3 times. Men who are interested just don’t do this. Women fall over themselves to make excuses.

Mens actions tell you everything.

He might not have lied but I'd ditch him for being a late canceller. He didn't let you know until you were in touch with him. That meant you potentially were left twiddling your thumbs on a weekend night. Also a vague can we reschedule is not good enough.

If upon finding out he had to travel he phoned you immediately or left a voice note saying

I'm sorry and disappointed as I was looking forward to seeing you. Could we meet up again either this Friday or Saturday? Let me know and I'll book the restaurant. Sorry again.

Then I'd let it go. Only once though, this early on.

Maybe she needs to take the hint then.....

My first thought, along with others on here is a VPN could account for the location. Or maybe he was in Belgium. Maybe there are lakes there and he hasn’t lied?
You have been on 3 dates, he is flaky and you obviously don’t trust him. So why bother getting yourself annoyed about it? I get that online dating is hard, but it’s a numbers game. Throw this one back and move on.

Agree