Partner fuming with me for this

[Loloj]

Been with DP for 9 years and engaged to be married.

I’m not a smoker although in my younger days I would have had the occasional cigarette when having a drink. My partner hates smoking - he thinks it is disgusting hates the smell etc and always comments when people around him smoke. He said if I was still a “social smoker” now then he wouldn’t be with me.

Last night my friend who smokes came to stay for the evening - he can’t help himself but make comments about her smoking and I just think “oh stop it, let people do their own thing”. She was nipping outside every so often for a cigarette then coming back in.

Later in the evening after a few drinks I popped outside to chat with her and had a few drags of her cigarette. I wouldn’t normally do this (the last time was maybe a couple of years ago) but after a few Proseccos I fancied it.

We come back inside the house and he came straight towards me and lent into my face and sniffed me - like he was waiting to catch me out. He kicked off saying “I knew it!” etc and how I had broken his trust. How disgusting it was and why would I do that etc etc. I was really taken aback like WTF - he was waiting to catch me out. We had an argument and I said if I wanted to have a few drags off a cigarette as a one-off then that was up to me and that he was massively over-reacting. His reaction was as though I’d cheated on him! This morning he wouldn’t speak to me walking past me glaring at me like I’ve committed a hideous crime and making it awkward with our guests.

so AIBU or is he?

YABU - your partner is right to be this annoyed and you should never ever touch a cigarette if he feels this way.

YANBU - your partner has completely over-reacted

Sad fact is, I should not be allowed to take my potentially dangerous dog into a building that freely sells dangerous alcoholic drinks, stopping outside to mingle on the pavement having a fag with innocent non smokers having a potentially lethal alcoholic drink. It's all so wrong. I think lockdown solved these serious social issues. We could all just stay indoors making bad evil choices and not inflicting them on anyone. Bring back lockdown I say.

OMG 🙄

Wtaf? 😳 Just when I thought this thread couldn’t get any more crazy… I have no words
😂😂

Cheating and smoking are not even remotely comparable. Tell me you’re out of touch with reality without telling me you’re out of touch with reality. 🙄 You’re not superior to anyone else because of your beliefs, you’re just wildly emotionally unintelligent and your whole comment made me cringe. If you want to add real depth to this discussion, put forward a comparable analogy instead of outlandish rubbish that makes you look more than a little bit thick. Then again, I get the same experience with a lot of other men too so you’re not on your own. I feel sorry for the people in your life that have to suffer the fool that you are because I’m sure you must regularly spout your “seasoned moral advice” for everyone to hear and inwardly cringe about too. Absolute hysterical nonsense.

I agree. Sometimes I see comments on here where the posters seem so self-righteous and uptight and so intolerant of other people’s (perceived) flaws that I wonder how they manage to maintain any relationships in their lives.
Do they only ever surround themselves with equally perfect people?

Who knew two puffs of a fag made you a cheating drunken slattern.

This thread is wild.

I actually cringed reading this. What were you trying to do with that comment?

You need a dictionary to help you to understand that this is not how you use the preposition 'like', and then you need some help to unpick whatever damage has caused you not only to think of that comparison but then write it down and publish it on the internet.

This thread has taken on a new dimension now for bat shit crazy

Smokers are the new lepers - non-smokers derive great satisfaction from looking down on them and demonising them.

The way your partner is behaving is outrageous. How can anyone support his behaviour? You didn't smoke in the house, it was a one-off and you are an adult who can make her own decisions.

Some people abhor alcohol - they don't like the smell of it on the breath of others and they don't like the many societal problems that drinking causes. Does that then give someone the right to treat a drinker like some sort of pariah?

Indeed. Educational, though. Who knew that in the phrase "like it or not", "like" was a preposition? 😂

It’s not - it’s a verb! The prepositional use is in the phrase ‘that’s like saying’ etc etc.

So there is something wrong with the phrase "that's like saying"? Gosh.

Ahahahaha totally not the same thing

Sorry that was meant to be on the Willy comment

Well said. Some of the other comments on this post are really over reactive and stupid.

Hahaha exactly

Oh, are we doing wide-eyed naïveté? Very well.

There is absolutely nothing grammatically wrong with the phrase ‘that’s like saying’, as well you know. The objection is to the suggestion that a few drags of a cigarette is the equivalent of perfunctory fellatio.

I do hope this helps but I remain at your disposal for any further queries.

@WitchWithoutChips I don't think that came across as clearly as you thought it did.

Thank you for the feedback @TwelveAngryWhiskers. I don’t think @Gonners was motivated by a good faith interest in the grammar of that post.

You are wrong.

😂🤬

😂

So a stupid decision after a few glasses of wine and he's allowed to act like her jailor? We all do stupid things. Think he's overreacting. Does he enjoy being proved right? I wouldn't want to come to your house if hes comfortable being rude to your friends.

The level of hysterics and shaming on MN these days is unbelievable. I’m sure lots of it comes from women who put up with negatives in their marriage/relationship far larger than “a few puffs”.