Partner fuming with me for this

[Loloj]

Been with DP for 9 years and engaged to be married.

I’m not a smoker although in my younger days I would have had the occasional cigarette when having a drink. My partner hates smoking - he thinks it is disgusting hates the smell etc and always comments when people around him smoke. He said if I was still a “social smoker” now then he wouldn’t be with me.

Last night my friend who smokes came to stay for the evening - he can’t help himself but make comments about her smoking and I just think “oh stop it, let people do their own thing”. She was nipping outside every so often for a cigarette then coming back in.

Later in the evening after a few drinks I popped outside to chat with her and had a few drags of her cigarette. I wouldn’t normally do this (the last time was maybe a couple of years ago) but after a few Proseccos I fancied it.

We come back inside the house and he came straight towards me and lent into my face and sniffed me - like he was waiting to catch me out. He kicked off saying “I knew it!” etc and how I had broken his trust. How disgusting it was and why would I do that etc etc. I was really taken aback like WTF - he was waiting to catch me out. We had an argument and I said if I wanted to have a few drags off a cigarette as a one-off then that was up to me and that he was massively over-reacting. His reaction was as though I’d cheated on him! This morning he wouldn’t speak to me walking past me glaring at me like I’ve committed a hideous crime and making it awkward with our guests.

so AIBU or is he?

YABU - your partner is right to be this annoyed and you should never ever touch a cigarette if he feels this way.

YANBU - your partner has completely over-reacted

Blimey🤣🤣
someone’s had a bad day……..

For context the biggest cause of death is obesity, eating unhealthy food and not exercising.

Smoking isn’t a sin, killing is though….see the difference

In terms of contaminating the rest of humanity I think you’ll find it’s industry and cars that do that. Along with breeding animals for people to eat….after they’ve killed them of course…see above paragraph.

Smokers are the devils spawn……..you do know the devil doesn’t actually exist don’t you.
In this country hanging someone is killing and a sin and against the law.

So I think we ve come around in a circle now to anyone encouraging such evil thoughts is actually the sinner!……..not a term I’d normally use though 🤮

Am I the only one who read @VeryUnlikely post about smokers being devils spawn as a joke ripping the piss out of the hysterical posters on here? 🤔

Oh no you can't ask her that!
I think it's her first day on mumsnet.

All she did was give her OPINION based on what the OP asked and she couldn't possibly comment on anything else that anyone asks her.

I thought that too. You never know though, some of the other responses were also pretty bizarre.

I did wonder and I do hope so or I’d be a little worried about them
But I commented anyway given some of the other posts on here it’s not that out of place tbh

Non smoker here, always been a non smoker and always will be. HOWEVER... if I chose to have a drag on a night out or as part of a social occasion then I wouldn't expect my husband to kiss me and I'd have a shower etc when I got back but I also wouldn't accept someone treating me like a freaking leper for it. Over the top and out of line - he'd be told to fuck off and stop acting like my dad.

@VeryUnlikely's post is clearly a satirical parody of the absolute insanity spouted by pp, but it's obviously a little too accurate.

It hardly matters in the context of such batshittery but FWIW pictures are hung, people are hanged.

and the responses saying "u ok hun?" are even funnier ...

Yes, I thought it was satire up until the more reasonable (but wrong) last sentence.

It's a gross and dirty unhealthy habit and the smell definitely carries with you.

Do you and your partner always drink so much on weekdays?

It's likely that you wouldn't have taken a drag off the cigarette if you hadn't been drinking and hadn't had a friend over who is a heavy smoker.

2 drags of a cigarette doesn't make it a habit.

Sorry? Where did I say me my partner and I were drinking? DP hadn’t drank a drop. It was also on Saturday night. Not that that makes any difference or has anything to do with the issue. Plenty of people have different working week patterns and may have a drink during the week. Respectfully, I find your comment very strange and not actually answering the question that was posed.

Do you and your partner always drink so much on weekdays?

”drink so much”? OP said she had a few proseccos. So now she is not only considered a smoker because she had a couple of drags of her friends cigarette, but also a drinker? Honestly, some of the comments on here…

@Loloj ... Come on, OP! You can't fool MN. We all know that you drank two litres of whisky and then strangled an entire litter of kittens in front of a Sunday School room full of 5-year-olds before insisting that they take puffs on your joint.

Shame on you!

🤣🤣👍

Before the 🦇 come out for another storm of 💩 and fill up the thread may I say fair blimmin’ fucks to the OP for remaining polite and good-natured in the face of some serious MN insanity?

So you think it’s ok to be bloody sniffed and shouted at and then to further take the huff with his partner as that’s controlling and abusive behaviour

oh and smoke free by 2028 not happen because of revenue from cigarettes there is no way the government are giving that up ever

GabriellaFaith

Interesting that you are so incensed by smoking that you would much prefer and angry sulking adult male to be shouting and arguing in front of friends and children than allow a smoker in your garden ?

Strange priorities.

It was absolutely not satire not at all no. Definitely the whole truth of what I think. I think rishis-dinners has it right, ordering us all to never smoke by law. The law should also be updated to ban alcohol and kaftans as both are an abomination. Come to think of it, pubs should be banned from selling alcohol or preferably shut down altogether because pubs are an abomination and abuse of my right to have a Joules on my street instead of the evil spawn pub 'The Swan'.

Bic pens should also be restricted as I drank all the ink in one once and it made me seriously ill and kids can get their hands on these evil pens. How can we allow this to happen? Same goes for night nurse which I mixed with bacardi once and it made me even more seriousdly ill and it's just all so wrong. We need protecting from our own evil choices.

That’s like saying ‘I’m not a cheater, I only sucked his willy a little bit’

Smoking by definition makes you a smoker, like it or not.

And DO NOT tell me that my poor evil choices are different from smoking which passively spreads around the place and infects or kills others. I know that is the case with Roy Castle. RIP. But I actually swung a bat at my friends after mixing night nurse and bacardi and put two of them in hospital so you can't tell me that there are things like night nurse that should remain legal. Smoking was the least of my problems that night.

Hahaha yeah right not the same at all

Watch out,it could be the start of his controlling behaviour.

@Deathbyfluffy What is 'fluffy'? Fluffy needs to be banned whatever it is as it's obviously deadly. Unless it was your lovely pet in which case I'm so sorry for your loss. Its terrible losing a loved pet. My doggy has been shot at a few times for chasing sheep, putting local farmers' income at risk. Dogs should be banned really as they are a menace and keep killing animals and people