He wants me to transfer the money. AIBU to be put off now?

[whatasneezeyone]

Had a date. Went for sushi 🍣

I got a few dishes and he seemed to be counting his coming through. I got some strawberry cheesecake mochi and he said 'that looks nice. I'll try it maybe one time. Spend enough today ahahaa'

Went to tap the card as we agreed to split the bill

I did my half and my card got declined. I said to the waiter, quick as a flash, I'll need to insert my pin because I've probably tapped too many times now

The man I was with on the date said 'let me just get this, please'

And he tapped.

He's now messaging this evening saying 'can you transfer your half? As we did agree to go half. It's Santander xxx yyy lll'

The followed up straight away with a link and saying 'fancy this next week?'

So I have. And haven't replied back to say it's done

AIBU to not be interested now? Just seems a bit petty.

I personally would've just left it if the shoe was on the other foot

Asking for her to transfer half isn't really him "getting this" is it?

Point taken. You just won't go out with someone who suggests you pay your share.

Yep that would put me off too

It wasn't his fault her card was declined. It was a first date. It sounds like he jumped in to avoid embarrassment.

Lots of people will refer to it being "declined" if it doesn't go through with contactless

How does that work? Do you ask before accepting a date?

If so, I admire your chutzpah, and it also lets your dates know what they're in for in advance. Fair dos.

The accountant sounds cheap and I would also feel yuck about the date after his text. What is he, a bill collector too? Good luck with the fitter guy he sounds much better.

Urghh that's so tight. Yeah I'd be put off too

It would annoy me, it's not kind of him, he made things unnecessarily harder for you. Insert and pin is quick, jumping on banking app and having to put his account in and double check before sending money would annoy me when I could have just tapped. If he'd said I can pay and you can send me the money later you'd have had a chance to say thanks, but I'd rather pay now.

No that’s not correct at all. She did agree to split the bill but he didn’t let her pay in front of the waiter when it was declined (and it’s always about the pin needing to be entered after so many times of use). So he’s not “sticking to the original agreement” at all.

for whatever reason he made a big expansive gesture in public about stepping in “let me get this” and I’m sure if they’d met up again she’d have paid for the next one (as she’s the type to originally agree to split the bill). To then ask her for that amount later (and also to not just buy the drink he fancied there and then) has vibes of being stingy and mean rather than genuinely hard up.

So he offered to pay then asked you to transfer halves after the date? Eurgh no wonder he's single. Hope your date with the other guy goes well!

Do you really think he was so new to the idea of paying for things by card that, firstly, he isn't familiar with the concept of having to enter your PIN every so many transactions; and secondly, when OP said "Oh, it'll want me to input my PIN", he assumed that she must be a stupid/skint/lying/desperate little woman and needed him to rescue her?

He could have so easily asked "Is it all OK?" and then OP could have hesitated or discreetly alerted him to any issues she might be having - rather than already having said "Oh, it wants me to enter my PIN".

Yes

Total aside, but what a wanky phrase. Do people
say this now?

Don't dwell on it;it's obviously not Mr.Right or even Mr.Right now;sounds like the chemistry is off kilter between you and you're not suited.

Back to the drawing back;he'll simply become a funny story of a bad first date you tell in the future.

Did you spend that much or more?

Her card was declined for contactless, and she immediately said "Ah, right, I need to enter my PIN". This is an everyday occurrence for adults and in no way embarrassing, unless you maybe know your funds are low - but again, this has no bearing on somebody else's funds, when they are paying for something.

He most certainly did not avoid embarrassment; he created suggested embarrassment for OP, when there was no need or justification whatsoever.

He's like the boy scout who has been told to help old ladies across the road, and so goes up to women in their 50s (who seem 'old' in comparison to him) and insists on taking them to the other side, even though they never wanted or needed to cross! Except you would give a well-meaning child a little more of a pass than a grown man out on a date, who seems not to understand the standard modern way of paying for things.

If you'd actually bothered to read the OP you'd have noticed
A) op clearly agrees that going halves is normal in the 21st century AS THAT IS WHAT SHE HAD AGREED TO DO in the first place! (And in her subsequent posts has offered to do again with another bloke)
b) she has already sent the money, had done so as soon as he asked, and was never disputing whether she would.
C) why would a contactless transaction needing a PIN be in any way embarrassing, to need her "blushes spared" it's a completely normal thing that happens all the time

How is "the ick" outdated, its a very modern term, its not like it pops up in Jane austen!

Stop looking into it too deep. Simple miscommunication. If you want to see him again, then do.

Agreed he wanted the waiter to think he was paying. I don’t think it has anything to do with not wanting you to feel embarrassed for your card declining, cards decline regularly due to needing the pin to be inserted.

It’s cheeky for him to ask you for half after saying let me get this.

Peoples cards get declined regularly now due to the pin needing to be inserted. There would literally be no need to feel embarrassed about this, OP clearly wasn’t.

Am I understanding right that you agreed to go 50/50 - not just paying for your own food? Then he was careful with what he ordered, while you just ordered whatever you wanted. So he did in fact subsidise you/pay for part of your meal?

There's literally no way of knowing that without an itemised bill. And even if that was the case, he said "let me get this" and then didn't get it and wanted her to pay him back.

I'd give him benefit of the doubt that he was trying to be helpful and avoid a potentially embarrassing situation for the OP developing. I also don't think it is that unreasonable to think OP would still be paying own share and make alternative arrangements

His "let me get this" meant "let me get this to save you the bother of trying your card again then you can send me your half later". If he had meant he was going to pay for her half, he wouldn't have asked for the money back after.