He wants me to transfer the money. AIBU to be put off now?

[whatasneezeyone]

Had a date. Went for sushi 🍣

I got a few dishes and he seemed to be counting his coming through. I got some strawberry cheesecake mochi and he said 'that looks nice. I'll try it maybe one time. Spend enough today ahahaa'

Went to tap the card as we agreed to split the bill

I did my half and my card got declined. I said to the waiter, quick as a flash, I'll need to insert my pin because I've probably tapped too many times now

The man I was with on the date said 'let me just get this, please'

And he tapped.

He's now messaging this evening saying 'can you transfer your half? As we did agree to go half. It's Santander xxx yyy lll'

The followed up straight away with a link and saying 'fancy this next week?'

So I have. And haven't replied back to say it's done

AIBU to not be interested now? Just seems a bit petty.

I personally would've just left it if the shoe was on the other foot

I bank with RBS. I'm sure they aren't the only one, though. As I say, it happens all the time, and shop and restaurant staff don't turn a hair.

I bank with Lloyds and I have to enter my pin after a certain number of transactions.

All banks are different. This is barclays. So yes while there is officially "no limit" it WILL occasionally ask you to enter your pin before you can use contactless again. So for some banks there may not be an actual number on the limit but at some point your card will be triggered to enter a pin.
www.barclaycard.co.uk/personal/help/contactless-payments/daily-limit

This. 👍

This makes no sense

‘I am a date not a business partner’. So what’s the man?

Essentially, your answer comes down to sexism.

Are you saying only one man ever paid for your first date and you haven’t dated anyone since. You bring up one date where you went halves and it didn’t work out. That’s just one date. How many did you go on where they paid for the first date and it, at some point, didn’t work out?

The man who it didn't work out with didn't last more than one other date. Of course I'm not saying that I only dated one person lol. I used to date a fair amount, although I've been married for ages now. Not all my relationships worked out, but they would have ended even sooner if we had gone halves too soon.

You said that by waving away her card, he "voided their agreement" to split the bill, like it was somehow legally binding. I'm saying that nonsense. You can also save the patronising lecture about sexual dynamics, thanks.

I fail to see how he was U in sticking to the original agreement to go halves when OP said in her first comment that she ordered more dishes than him. The final bill can't have been an even 50:50 split in the light of that, but he was happy to pay equally. What he wasn't happy to do was cover the whole cost when she scarfed more food than him. Fair enough. For all any of us know – and OP won't clarify – he could've had 20 quids worth of food, hers was the remaining £45+. Guaranteed if the positions were reversed, every person on this thread would be urging her to demand his share of the bill from him and calling him greedy for expecting her to pay for his larger meal.

So they didn’t work out either then.

Sounds like you're just not very compatible. He does sound a bit tight, and you're entitled to be put off by that. But equally, he might be put off by a date who agreed to pay half and never volunteered to transfer the money to him for the rest of the date, until he eventually felt he had to chase it himself.

Was he in a rush to leave op or sound irritated? Just reading it the first time I'm wondering if was impatient at the potential delay in you sorting your card out. Like others have said though, trust your gut.

Incorrect. Check the Halifax link I posted earlier. Not all banks are the same.

No. Occasionally you have to enter the card for a small transaction.

I did. It doesn’t say it limits the amount of transactions. It says the normal 100 per transaction .

@ButterflyKu & @Janetime you are both incorrect.

I'm with TSB and my card regularly doesn't tap through on sums less than £100. I reckon every five-seven transactions I have to enter the pin. It's pretty standard banking security these days.

Again, post a link.

people keep saying it, but not one person has been able to post a link saying a limit to the number of transactions, only the 100 pound limit per transaction.

its a simple request. Post a link/

The waiter became a waitress overnight.

Then prove it.

You are embarrassing yourself now. It happens to me on a regular basis that I have to insert my card for transactions under £100.

It's already been proven - I posted a link from Halifax that clearly says it and a PP posted a screenshot from Barclays that clearly says it.

NATIONWIDE

Contactless payment limits. You can make contactless payments of up to £100 from all our adult current accounts and credit cards.

You can make as many contactless payments as you'd like in a day. But sometimes you'll need to use Chip and PIN to verify it's you.

@Janetime it happens to me every now and then, especially if I am at a new place

it is to with banks using AI and the AI seeing unusual patterns

i am with Barclays btw

Links have already been posted FGS. Here is the Halifax one (again).

And copied and pasted:

Sometimes you’ll need to enter your PIN when using your contactless card, especially if you’ve used it a few times in one day. This helps us make sure it’s you making the payment.

And here is the one from HSBC.

And copied and pasted:

There is a maximum amount of £100 allowed per transaction and, from time to time, you will be asked to enter your PIN to verify you are the genuine card holder.

I have to put my pin in every so many transactions with Bank of Scotland. Like the OP I would pay my half but not go on more dates. I don't like men who are tight but also don't like men who want to pay for everything, they can have control issues and a problem with financially independent women.

It does say it. You simply haven't read it properly.