He wants me to transfer the money. AIBU to be put off now?

[whatasneezeyone]

Had a date. Went for sushi 🍣

I got a few dishes and he seemed to be counting his coming through. I got some strawberry cheesecake mochi and he said 'that looks nice. I'll try it maybe one time. Spend enough today ahahaa'

Went to tap the card as we agreed to split the bill

I did my half and my card got declined. I said to the waiter, quick as a flash, I'll need to insert my pin because I've probably tapped too many times now

The man I was with on the date said 'let me just get this, please'

And he tapped.

He's now messaging this evening saying 'can you transfer your half? As we did agree to go half. It's Santander xxx yyy lll'

The followed up straight away with a link and saying 'fancy this next week?'

So I have. And haven't replied back to say it's done

AIBU to not be interested now? Just seems a bit petty.

I personally would've just left it if the shoe was on the other foot

He didn’t give her a chance, he just tapped his card.

And OP likely meant to pay for the next date, which she rightly won’t countenance now.

Can’t believe he had the cheek to think she’d see him again.

No he didn’t. She specially says he asked

Me too.

No she didn't. She said "I just need to put my PIN in" and he said "please let me get this".

Anyway, it's a shame as I can't stand people being tight. It's unattractive

can you really not see the irony here op?

I'd be wary that in future dates he'll say let me get this... then send you a bill for half.

did you quote thr wrong poster?

YANBU. Technically he's done nothing wrong, but this level of money anxiety would be difficult to put up with in a relationship. He sounds tight, and money-obsessed.

Also: whenever our gut feeling is 'I'd rather not see this person/see them again' we should follow it - that's our Inner Wisdom talking to us!

Seems a bit penny pinching, especially since it sounds like he wants to see you again. The carpet fitter's response for you to get the next one is more what I'd be looking for in the early days of dating.

YANBU

He should have let you pay half at the time - messaging you saying "we did agree to go half" would put me off.

If I was him I would assume you'd pay next time

Yes!

My feeling is he’s a bit short of money and was trying to save you embarrassment if your card still didn’t work - but can’t really afford to pay for you . You aren’t going to know unless you see him again . If you liked him otherwise I’m not sure it’s a massive deal breaker just yet

Run. Take it from someone who knows, and has lived to bitterly regret it. He's either tight and mean, or else broke. Neither makes for a happy relationship or life ime.

is it really "playing the big I AM" to pay the bill at a sushi restaurant?

am i playing the big I AM when i pay for my partners meal when we are out? (its a joint card, we split it 50/50) - like NO ONE CARES who pays, just that its done and dusted quickly with minimal hassle.

No, he didn’t ask to pay. OP says:

The man I was with on the date said 'let me just get this, please'

And he tapped.

Sorry, the moment you shared he was a revenue accountant, that was a red flag for me. My friend married a local accountant and when she was going to the supermarket when she was first married and getting her card declined as he moved the money to his higher interest... after the fifth time she lost her rag with him and that sorted it out.

Stop being a chancer. Cough up what you owe princess. Pay your half and stop whining

He could at least have waited for you to put in your pin before jumping in. And if not, he should have said "Let me get this for now, we can sort it out later". He seems a tad overbearing. Also asking the waitress in a sushi restaurant if they do chips, haha, but then you said you liked his sense of humour.

YABU.
You had the money but he didn't know that and it looked to him like your card was declined.
You agreed to split it, you were expecting to split it, you have the money to split it which you've already sent to him, I don't see what the big deal is.

You've just completely made that bit up about it 'failing' repeatedly - nowhere does OP say or even imply that.

It was disallowed for contactless once - as it isn't just a limit of £100 for a single transaction, but you will also have to enter your PIN after so many transactions, regardless of the amount, to prove that you're the rightful card holder, and to prevent thieves from stealing somebody's card and being able to spend tens of thousands in £100 increments by just tapping it repeatedly.

Like most adults who have payment cards, OP realised - and verbalised - that she just needed to enter her PIN, but before she could do so, her wannabe white knight jumped in and solved a non-problem entirely of his own invention.

It's the equivalent of dashing into somebody's house with a huge fire extinguisher to 'save their life' when they've mentioned that they're going to put the hob on to warm a pan of soup.

Who are you? Frank Butcher?

Tech it wouldn't be 67p between you both if always sharing total cost as over 49/50p would make it another pound

I don't think he's done anything awful but it's off-putting to you and that's fine. Your gut tells you that you wouldn't be well suited and that's exactly what you should listen to. Fingers crossed for carpet guy!

£30pp for a meal out isn't outrageous

Go for the tradie, never met a poor or mean one yet, my DP is one 😊