To think dd aged 16 is too young to go away on holiday independently

[Manthide]

Dd is in y11 and is going to sit her gcses this summer. Until about last October she only occasionally went out with friends- partly due to covid and being used to 'socialising' online. Since then she has made new friends who seem to want to be out and about all the time. None of them live near us - dd goes to a private girls school. 2 are boys in y10 and y11, the other is a girl in y11. They all seem nice enough though I've only really met them in passing.
Anyway this morning she was asking about going to Scotland on holiday with them with no parents and seemed to think I was being very unreasonable by saying she couldn't go without any adults. She is the youngest of my 4dc and none of the others went away solo until at least age 18. I am an older mum and after I finished my O levels I did go away for a week with friends but this was 43 years ago.
She does go away with army cadets and has lots of hobbies.

Sorry, I would let her. Especially as it's a UK holiday. And you saying you did it yourself but won't let your daughter makes you a bit of a hypocrite. Makes no difference it was 43 years ago!

I would let her. And have done for my own older DC. If she's an otherwise sensible girl it's a great opportunity for independence and creating memories with friends.

I went to Salou with 5 girl friends at 15/16. One had never flown before. We had a great time, weren't especially badly behaved. One of the girls is still married to a boy she met there (nearly 30years later)

I would let her but perhaps confirm separate sleeping arrangements for the boys and girls. I have very happy memories of a weekend in Derbyshire and few days in St Ives with friends when I was 16/17 and honestly she will learn a lot (on one trip we lived off a large box of cornflakes for the last 2 days as we’d overspent… but still had an epic time)

Wow you're such a hypocrite.

I would let her.

I went away with friends when I was 16 after GCSEs, to festivals and a couple of other UK trips. That’s what the long break after exams is for!

Perfectly fine for her to go. What do you think changed in 43 years?

So you went away at her age but said she can't? Why?

Lots of kids go to festivals the summer GCSEs finish. A holiday seems safer than a festival.

No I didn’t let my two DDs go when they were 16, because it’s too young imo. They are in their late 20s now and one said she was relived that I’d said no because she didn’t actually want to go but felt she had to pretend to her group of friends that she did.

Yes, you can’t really stop her, she’s not even going abroad. I hope they all have a ball.

Confirm away 😆

Too many unknowns, where are they staying, how are they getting there for a start?

Will anywhere actually let four 15/16 year olds check in to holiday accommodation?

I wouldn't let her without an accompanying (responsible) adult.

Round here Reading festival is a rite of passage after GSCEs. I’d rather mine went youth hosteling in Scotland!

I think 16 is too young - precisely because I went at 16 and it wasn't pretty!

i don't think it is hypocritical to reflect on things in the past and do them differently.

I went to reading festival for a full weekend with pals age 16 and survived. I’d let her go

Mine went camping in Germany with friends at 15/16. I think it’s fine.

Well if she's the only one who misses out, she's not exactly going to thank you for it! Especially as you were allowed at her age.

She's 16. What do the sleeping arrangements matter? I know parents may worry, but young people don't need permission to have sex at 16, whether we like it or not.

I wouldn't be happy with a mixed sex holiday at 16yo with no adults.

It's asking for trouble imo.

Agree - Reading festival in particular seems to be the preferred post-GCSE choice.

I think a holiday in the UK is fine. But I do get that it's a bit nerve-wracking for parents when it's your eldest.

But remember than in 2 years time, if she announces she's off to Zante - you won't be able to stop her. So let her get a bit of experience now in places where the risks are fewer and the retrieval (if needed, which it won't be) easier

Nah not at 16. 17-18 maybe.

the level of immaturity in the hypocrite comments. Cringe.

Exactly!

It's "confirm the provision of separate sleeping accommodation" as you can't police what goes on. But if she is (already or thinking of) having sex with one of the others, that's going to happen whether or not they go away

If they’re going to have sex, they’re going to have sex. Going on holiday has nothing to do with it. They can get married, you know.