To think dd aged 16 is too young to go away on holiday independently

[Manthide]

Dd is in y11 and is going to sit her gcses this summer. Until about last October she only occasionally went out with friends- partly due to covid and being used to 'socialising' online. Since then she has made new friends who seem to want to be out and about all the time. None of them live near us - dd goes to a private girls school. 2 are boys in y10 and y11, the other is a girl in y11. They all seem nice enough though I've only really met them in passing.
Anyway this morning she was asking about going to Scotland on holiday with them with no parents and seemed to think I was being very unreasonable by saying she couldn't go without any adults. She is the youngest of my 4dc and none of the others went away solo until at least age 18. I am an older mum and after I finished my O levels I did go away for a week with friends but this was 43 years ago.
She does go away with army cadets and has lots of hobbies.

It’s less about stopping if she does want to have sex and more about having privacy/space if she doesn’t

I think it’s totally normal to go away with friends at 16 - the post GCSEs friends break is quite a milestone.

Ask the friends round if you want to get to know them better. A local camping trip as a test is a good idea, as are some call in plans when they are in Scotland (I wouldn’t normally suggest thing, but with hillwalking safety checks make sense)

I am sure you are right that she isn’t terribly streetwise but in 2 years she’ll be leaving home, so she has to crack on and start building skills for that.

We did Reading festival. A few kids went abroad my parents said no way until I was 18.

so I guess Scotland isn’t that different to Reading!

For me it depends on the 16 year old. Are they sensible? Would they know what to do in any kind of emergency? Are they generally good at keeping in touch?
DS1 is 24 now but there’s no way I’d have let him go on holiday with his mates. He was a nightmare. I never knew where he was, he would never answer his phone, he was always out way past curfew. His mates were knobheads. I just didn’t trust any of them. DS2 is 16, totally different. Much more thoughtful. Always is where he said he’d be. Always answers his phone, lets me know if he’s going to be late home etc. His mates are far more sensible. So I have let him go off for a night or 2 with them.

I lived on my own at 16...

I went camping with a group of friends in Scotland when I was 16. Good times, then the tent flooded in the torrential Scottish rain and we spent the night shivering in a bus shelter.
I’d let her go, especially if they’re all in the cadets - they should be fine.

Remember marriage is legal at 16 in Scotland without parental consent....😁

I was in a foster home with extreme restrictions on what I could and couldn't do as a teenager, I even needed to obtain prior permission from a senior member of staff to have my 13 year old brother enter the building. And despite this, when I wanted to stay at a hotel with my boyfriend, and at his parent's house, between the ages of 16 and 17, the answer was always, no you're not allowed to do that, but there isn't anything we can do to stop you legally. I even contacted the police to confirm that they would never become involved in a situation where a parent was aware of the location of a 16 year old but didn't agree that they should be there, unless there was any cause for concern. She is a child, but practically, unless she is prepared to physically restrain her, there isn't anything she can do.