Prostitute checked into our hotel!

[GrumpyL]

Ok, so away in London for a couple of days with DH and DD (10). We were staying in a 4* Hotel which is part of a large chain of hotels, not a small independent. We went to reception about 10.30 on the 2nd morning and was met with a lady (who was very obviously a prostitute) being told her room would be ready in 5 mins and her handing over £100 in cash to the receptionist. The hotel is £250+ a night and check in is 3pm!

AIBU to this this made the hotel feel a bit icky and sleazy after I saw that? Husband and I spoke briefly when DD wasn’t listening and he said “well they have to work somewhere!”. Not sure if I’m turning into a prude in my old age, but I really didn’t feel comfortable in the hotel after I saw that. I’m sure for her, it was a safe and comfortable place to work and I know this goes on in hotels, I suppose just seeing it in broad daylight shocked me a bit. We knew what she was there for, the receptionist knew what she was there for, the man behind us in the queue knew what she was there for, maybe I thought she and the hotel should have been a bit more discreet if they allow this to go on in their hotel, especially when it’s a family friendly hotel and there were a lot of children around?

So because the statistics of the incidence of trafficking into prostitution is inaccurate this means that we shouldn’t be concerned with the welfare of those women and girls who are being exploited ?

There have been several reports from EU countries in the interim stating that forced prostitution as a result of human trafficking is on the rise. The reports warn against language which seeks to normalise the buying and selling of sex as a commercial ‘trade’ and advocate that the way forward in tackling the issue is to de-criminalise the selling of sex and at the same time criminalise the purchasing of it.

In this way, vulnerable women and girls are not repeatedly processed through the criminal justice system for the same types of offences (which can remain on record many years after they have escaped forced prostitution and can be a barrier to future employment) and men are discouraged from purchasing sex because they can be held criminally responsible for it.

The idea of criminalising the purchase of sex was mooted in 2007 but so far the only change to the law is to criminalise purchasing the services of those women subsequently proved to have been forced into prostitution. Prosecutions under this law remain persistently low, and kerb crawling is still only a summary offence carrying a fine - which can be sidestepped in many circumstances.

@Lovelysausagedogscrumpy

So because the statistics of the incidence of trafficking into prostitution is inaccurate this means that we shouldn’t be concerned with the welfare of those women and girls who are being exploited ?

No, I didn’t make that leap. I’m simply pointing out that comments from PPs saying things like “Well over 60% prostituted women are either trafficked or forced into prostitution due to drug dependency” is inaccurate and there is little evidence for this statistic.

I agree with the rest of your post.

This thread wasn't supposed to be about the rights and wrongs (and there are plenty of wrongs) of prostitution. It was supposed to be whether someone suspected by the OP of being a sex worker checking into an hotel.

If the OP’s assumption was right, surely a safer environment than on the streets.

Well said 👏🏻

There was a dramatisation about a young woman who was snatched from the street in London several years ago, and trafficked.
I cannot remember what it was called but it was based on real events.
It was horrifying.
She was Eastern European from what I recall and working as a nanny for wealthy parents.
She wore glasses because I remember the traffickers took her glasses and she couldn’t see very well. They also took her belongings and passport.

To summarise she was moved about regularly and repeatedly prostituted.
She told the men who were raping her that she did not consent and that she had been abducted from the streets. Not one single one of them stopped. They all had sex with her (raped her.)
With several of the less violent , seemingly more reasonable men she begged them to help her escape.
One of them drove her away after she pleaded with him to just drop her off anywhere so she could seek help. He then had a change of mind and drove her straight back to the pimp.
You can imagine how that went.
I think eventually someone must have tipped off the authorities as that is how she was eventually found and released.
The whole thing was incredible.
That this could happen right here is disgusting.
The men who use prostitutes absolutely do not care if the women and children are there if their own free will.

You have made a lot of assumptions but I don't understand why you were bothered. If she was/is a sex worker, she won't be doing anything weird in front of other hotel guests and any children staying there will have no idea anyway. Why worry? Live and let live. Some hotels will let rooms at an hourly rate for that purpose.

Actually I was. If this discussion were in the feminist board most posters would say the same.

But it’s not, is it? It’s accessible to a wide range of women, most of whom don’t agree with you.

I kind of agree, because I think there aren’t many situations where a woman would choose prostitution - social and economic pressures are always there and are their own forms of coercion. But I accept that there are women who have the agency to choose.

If all prostitution is rape then all clients are rapists. There are, today, 17240 escorts advertising on Adultwork, just one site. If each has had 10 clients that makes 172400 men who should, by your logic, be in prison. Where will you put them? The UK prison population in June 2023 was 95,526 and the prisons are full.

They won’t be in prison though will they ? Because current UK law only criminalises the selling of sex, not the purchasing of it. So the prostitutes are subject to repeated prosecutions for basically the same type of offence, which can result in a permanent record affecting, among other things, job opportunities should they escape prostitution. The only way to prosecute a man for purchasing sex is if can be proven that the woman was trafficked and forced into prostitution. Realistically the worst that can happen to a man is a summary fine if they kerb crawl and in most cases there are ways around that too.

WHO CARES?!

I have sex with my husband in every hotel we stay in. Multiple times. Do you have an issue with that?

Why do you have an issue with a woman who's staying at a hotel having sex? Unless she's forcing you to watch, then it's none of your business.

What I don't understand is why everyone is still using the old, positively Victorian and judgmental term "prostitution". I think "sex worker" is the modern term.

It’s really not. Either is acceptable.

If yo read back through the thread you’ll seed why. Has been discussed extensively.

She might have just been hooking up with someone for the day. Is that not allowed either? Maybe you should create a leaflet to hand out explaining what's acceptable behaviour in a hotel room!

Sounds like your fantasy is showing. And surely 10.30am is early for a client.

One of my old mental health clients has several issues and would probably easily be judged as ‘looking like a prostitute’ .. she messaged the service the other day stating she was booking into a hotel so that she could shower and sleep and her flat had a serious mould issue and her landlords were failing to deal with it, so she claimed her shower was unusable and she couldn’t sleep in her flat for various other reasons…. So she spent a couple of nights in a hotel …. Turned out she was suffering from a MH relapse and was paranoid about her neighbours ‘watching her’…. The woman you saw could have been there for a multitude of reasons….. if she was a sex worker I’d have felt sorry for her being exploited and moved on!…. The hotle can’t refuse her a room unless they have some sort of proof….
imagine accusing a person of that and then it turning out to be some woman booking a room for her and her husband to act out some sort of sexual fantasy to spice up their sex life!

Lots of hotels will allow early check-in if they have a room ready, and it's reasonable to pay a deposit in cash.

What the woman was wearing, and what she does in her hotel room and with whom, is absolutely none of your business.

Hotel rooms often get booked at a day rate for photoshoots as well.

She might be a sex worker. She might be a glamour model. She might be someone checking in for a saucy time with her boyfriend. She might have been out all night clubbing and hadn't yet been to bed. She might have been none of those things. Either way, she isn't obliged to dress in a wholesome manner just because you had your child with you. It's a city hotel, not a Disney resort.

@KreedKafer ahhh you are absolutely right. We have all done the walk of shame! Well most of us. Doesn't mean we are a prozzi gosh! It's nothing to do with OP.

😂😂😂💦

Just for clarity in the UK it is not illegal to sell sex. It is however illegal to run a brothel. A sole worker advertising via a website is not breaking the law, though there are complications with the use of premises.

Kerb crawling is illegal but not the purchase of sex.

Not that simple. The selling of sex in a public place is illegal. So a prostitute on the street can be arrested for soliciting, and prosecuted repeatedly for the same type of offence. This can result in a criminal record which stays on file and can cause problems with future employment, renting accommodation, etc. Whereas the buying of sex is not illegal. Kerb crawling is only a summary offence carrying a fine. No worse than a parking ticket. So men call the shots in both the buying and selling of womens’ bodies. Women get the criminal record, men get off with a slap on the wrist.

Yes I think that is a fair summary. I lived in an area of Birmingham which was significantly impacted by prostitution. I and many women were regularly approached and it made our environment unsafe and frankly our lives very difficult. The police did take some action but needed to have very direct evidence of kerb crawling/ soliciting taking place which often they did not.

IME most of the women and girls involved in prostitution were addicted to hard drugs, in serious debt or forced into it by partners. It is a horribly oppressive thing for women.

One piece of research I recall from the time was that undertaken from the University of Birmingham which suggested that one in eight men (12.5%) regularly used prostitutes. So there are men we know who are regularly involved in this trade. It is certainly a sobering thought.

I do not call anybody a prostitute. Streetworkers are the most likely to be addicted to drugs. One up from homeless. Then it is brothel staff. Again possibly substance misuse. A bit more organised possibly. Though still managed by pimps. Then it is independent escorts most of whom are on adultwork.

I do not call any woman a sexworker as to me it still sounds degrading.

There are still some on adultwork who are trafficked coerced pimped. It is run by AI bots these days so some will get their profile deactivated but many others not.

By far the majority of women on adultwork decide to do the escorting of their own free will. It simply isn't how society perceives it. Quite a few will still have alcohol and cocaine issues but plenty do not. I think a lot depends on upbringing education and employment background plus strength of character.