Should I have expected my wife to answer?

[Reddca]

Getting ready to take DS out; I am down stairs getting ready and wife is in the kitchen, we are in separate but adjoining rooms. DS, who is up stairs, calls as he needs help with something.

I ask my wife if she can go upstairs and help DS but she doesn’t answer. I wait and then ask again and still no answer. I go upstairs and help DS.
Then I have a moan at DW for not answering my question. She claims that I should have know that she was busy and shouldn’t have asked.

I said, I didn’t know how long she was going to be and a simple yes or no would have been enough.

instead of descalating the situation, I continued to moan at her for not answering, and she went back to bed upset at me and left the house angry at her.

we were meant to see a house today but she doesn’t want to go.
its not the first time she has ignored a question when she thinks i should know the answer.
was I being reason?

Exactly. I had a feeling it was a same sex relationship for some reason.

Disablist as well as making heteronormative assumptions!

OK, yes, I do detect elements of commonly male behaviour in the OP’s account but still don’t make assumptions about marriages being different-sex when we don’t have that info.

Final update
she started speaking to me Tuesday and was ok Wednesday. Didn’t mention what happened, and clearly doesn’t want to discuss anything. She complained of feeling depressed and stress headaches.
thats it I guess, until it happens again.

I am a man, FAOD.

I want to point out again that this isn’t normal or acceptable in a relationship and is abusive.

i think you already had an inkling that it wasn’t normal behaviour when you posted this thread and I really hope that you find a way through this. Walking on eggshells until the next time is no way to live, either for you or your child.
please speak to someone in real life, a parent or a friend etc.

Silent treatment is abuse!

For asking to respond to our son? I don’t think so. Anyway, I have decided that I am simply not going to ask her to do something that I can do myself.

Honestly if you’d have posted this as the woman you would have had everyone telling you your husband is abusive for ignoring you and giving you the silent treatment.
Mumsnet hate men so no matter if you were right or wrong you’d never win on here.
For what it’s worth, she could have just asked what you wanted and said she was busy.

In reality, as on this thread, you would have had a variety of responses, from which each reader, including the OP, will have remembered a different selection and taken away a (possibly subtly) different message.

There are many posts where there are huge red flags for abusive behaviour in which posters are told they ABU and should cut the obvious abuser some slack.

MN posters are hugely varied and sweeping statements like this simply don't apply.

Are you the same poster whose wife left the queue for the massage place?

@Reddca not sure why you got such a hard time. If a woman had posted she was being ignored by her husband she would be told to LTB… I don’t really think it’s wrong to ask you partner to do something and expect not to be ignored and then to get the silent treatment. It’s all wrong, I would ask my husband to attend to my child if I was getting dressed he’d either help or say 2 mins it doesn’t need to be anything by more. It sounds as if you two have bigger issues.

couples counselling?

If it was a woman that posted she would have had better advice.
But as MN proves itself again women are never wrong and can never be abusive.

Not long ago a similar post was up about someones husband doing similar the same thing yes she had MN on her side he was scum he was a dick LTB etc etc.
Sometime i think women can be meaner.