I have 4 dogs and husband hates them all

[Ndhu]

So, I'm a dog trainer and a mum.

I have 4 dogs.... before my husband married me he knew I was in love with animals.
6 years down the line and he hates everything about animals.

He hates the fact I have my dogs even though I walk them. Feed them. Keep them out of his way...
Pick the poo up...
Clean the house....
And deal with my children.

I adopted our 4th dog a while ago as she was feral and I put a lot of hard work into her...

I've offered him to get rid of our other dog who is 6 months old and isn't adjusting well to the house but he wants this one dog gone....

I'm torn, I really am as this dog means the world to me.....

Am I being unfair?

OP, the language you use sight there wasn't really a proper discussion about any of this. He knew.... I told him.... Bringing another animal, person etc into a household needs two enthusiastic yeses and it reads like at most you got a begrudging go on then from him.
You need a proper conversation about what you are both happy with going forwards. bout what happens with the fostering of this dog. It sounds like you have other issues if you both work but you're doing all the household jobs, so why not get it all on the table at once.

so, he did actually agree to this one, but has now changed his mind.

4 dogs is nothing ! depending on their breed / size etc.

many people involved in rescue / fostering / training have several dogs :)

There is a huge disconnect here. You say "he agreed" and "he was fine with it" but also that he "hates them all" and wants you to get rid of at least one of them.

So which is it?

I'd like to hear his side of things.

Four dogs is a lot. Huge difference between having a family pet and having four dogs, one of whom was feral and needed a lot of work to train (and you have kids too). I wonder if you twisted his arm somewhat and he found it hard to say no but you ignored the signs he was clearly unhappy about more and more arriving.

Also if it’s OPs job to foster dogs, doesn’t she stop being paid if they’re adopted. How does this all work financially?

I don't understand getting rid of one 6 months old puppy in order to bring in another 4 month old dog. Dogs are for life not just to be 'got rid off' when you find one you like better. Why not work with the first dog to improve their fit within your pack of dogs?

Your poor husband - I am surprised he stays.

OP the breeder of my dog was in the same situation. He hated dogs and she had four normally and more when puppies arrived. He too knew this before moving in. He would have nothing to do with them at all.
They had to negotiate the situation. He had a hobby with a different outdoor animal so that was his thing.
Sadly he died and she has a new partner now also with dogs which brings her total up to nine!

You had 3 dogs. He isn’t happy about the fourth, so you have offered to get rid of number 3!! I’m not a dog trainer/therapist but Surely constant upheaval and changes in routine/household isn’t good for any dog. Or do you operate like I do with my shoes- a pair in and a pair out.

When eating, the dogs go to their crates on their own.
Sounds as though you have the dogs as well trained as your DH.
I’m full of admiration.

How cute are you?

Throw away her marriage and family unit, split the kids between her and her dh.

Feral dogs in the home with children. Yay go you! How cute.

So you are doing that great job that it shifted your husband from accepting dogs to hating everything about them.

Do you care about him or not? If yes, what would help?

You offered for him to ‘get rid’ of the other puppy.
That doesn’t sound much like a dog lover to me! If I was having issues with one of my dogs I would try to resolve the situation or, the very last resort, with a very heavy heart, find a new loving home for them. I’d never ‘get rid’ of them!

This

If he dislikes dogs, he should not have married a dog trainer. I would not have dogs in my house, so would never marry someone obsessed with dogs. Same with a smoker or a person with hygiene issues, and other things that I find unappealing. So he might either live unhappily or leave at some point, he was a bit dumb to start with you in the first place but I guess he may just get fed up and bolt.

Of course he can change his mind! When circumstances change and we have mire information we should change our minds.

If you prefer your dogs to your dh then crack on. I would want to take my dh’s concerns seriously.

He didn't change his mind, OP changed the rules.

This dog was meant to be a temporary foster, not a permanent addition to the household.

And yes, four dogs is a lot of dogs.

Dogs > men every time.

So yeah, ditch the man.

How on earth did you two ever get close enough to marry???

im a dog lover, we have two but did have three. I can’t imagine having more than a fleeting relationship with a bloke that didn’t love dogs. 🤣. When these 2 go I’d like a break from having dogs but can’t imagine life, long term, without one in my bed. 🤣

Maybe he thought it was temporary and didn’t realise that your home would turn into a rescue shelter.

i think you should move all the dogs on to a new home, yes you have done a great job but no trophies unfortunately, you will just have to move them on and on to the next dog who needs you.

What is it he hates about the dogs @Ndhu? I don't think you've specified this.

If he knew it was your job, agreed to taking on dogs into your home for the rescue you work for, why has he said he hates them? And is this a gradual thing or a sudden thing?

Keep the dogs, ditch the partner...

He knew what you were an animal lover and had pets when he married you.

It also does not sound like he is pulling his weight when it comes to childcare.

I would not want to live with a lazy, moaning man who can't cope with animals.

You've gone from being a dog trainer to a "behaviourist/trainer" in the space of a few pages.

They are very different things, as any trained and accredited behaviourist would know.

I used to work with a "dog trainer" who did a £99 2 hour course she found on Groupon and then took in multiple dogs with issues that she could neither manage nor afford.

Very different to the genuine behaviourists I've worked with who are highly skilled professionals who have spent years gaining experience and qualifications.

Who are you accredited by?

I came to our relationship with a dog, we came as a package. Any further dogs (or animals, or children!) who have come into our house since have been by mutual agreement. You keep saying your husband knew, but was he actually keen on the idea?

4 dogs ? I think you're taking the absolute piss, that's a hell of a lot of compromises he's had to make. 👀

Tricky situation .. I suppose he knew all along you loved dogs .. I think you have to get these things sorted before you marry or move in with someone. My husband likes dogs and I like cats and have always had them. I've always said I don't want a dog and he's agreed to that ... if he bought a feral dog home me and the cat would pack our bags !

Well these dogs you have rescued, are they fostered or adopted? There is a big difference between having a dog for a few months and having 4 permanently.