Genuinely kind, friendly and polite teen boys

[ComeAlongPeggy]

Aibu to ask people who have older teens who are kind, friendly and polite - why do you think your sons are this way?

I have pre-teens. Feeling a bit wobbly about the hormone changes I’m seeing already.

I could answer my own question with obvious answers (stable family life etc) but I’m curious to know if there are any obvious things I can do/not do now that might work?

Not a journalist. Just a curious mother of boys.

Oh, and I have friends with older teens but generally when I ask why X is so lovely they say “he always has been”. The one with slightly less polite children, I haven’t asked 🤣

Thank you all. Really hoping for some inspiring stories and words of wisdom.

No idea, he was born that way. Gentle, kind toddler/little boy and never really changed.

I agree.

I think there is a lot of smugness on this thread to be honest and self congratulatory behaviour. Yes of course your parenting has an impact. But in terms of nature v nurture, I believe nature plays a huge part in their personality.

I read many moons ago a thread where a poster had said she had brought up three boys to adulthood without a single moment of stroppiness. This seemed highly unusual to me but perhaps indicative that they were naturally hugely placid and relaxed people.

There are many many great parents who have had nightmare teens.

I think when people answer questions like op's, people will come and say what they think is working for them. It's not smug.
We all know there's no perfection. If anyone thinks their children are perfect, never get angry, have never said anything mean or have any other faults, then they're deluded.
If people want a disclaimer and a list of faults too, then I'm sure people will oblige.

The irony
You think mothers of sons are starry eyed
Yet think your own daughter ,s massive generalisation of half the population based on her her own social circle is fine .

Same here. DS is very laid back, volunteers with young children and elderly people, has impeccable manners and lots of confidence.

It's just the way he is. I don't claim to have parented him any different to anyone else.

The girls aren’t perfect but there is simply not an equivalent to the widespread misogyny young girls seem to be experiencing from (some but still many) young boys. Whether this is online influencers or societal (porn) I don’t know. The boys seem ok but when thwarted they all (bar one boy) turned aggressively misogynistic. One threatened suicide unless he was sent naked pictures. It really worries me to be honest and really hope all the boys are as lovely as described on this thread.

Maybe it’s an age thing and they grow out of it in older Dds circle the boys seem better (17 plus).

I agree @TheaBrandt. There is widespread misogyny. As people can tell just by opening a newspaper. And I totally accept that while I think my DS is lovely, I don't know for sure. If I see any signs of misogyny, I will come down upon it, but he may hide it from he, who knows?

Believe me I wish it wasn’t true. Hate that the adorable little boys Dd hung out with at primary seem to have been…well corrupted is a strong word but it’s the one that comes to mind. I think something has gone very wrong in our society- and it’s not the parents fault IMO

I’ve got 3 boys, only the youngest is still a teen (15). He’s always been very smiley, very positive. They’ve always had a stable home life, dh and I don’t often argue and are seen being respectful and kind to each other. All of you boys have (different) sen and I never allowed teasing in the family. There’s enough of that outside, home and family is your safe space. I’ll allow a bit of arguing but not if it gets out of hand. I shut that shit down. I was/am strict. I made my boundaries very clear, along with the consequences for breaching them and I always followed through. Never used physical punishment. I wanted my children to be people I enjoyed spending time with and they still know that their parents enjoy spending time with them.

let’s hope I’m not too possessive 🤣