For thinking DH shouldn't be buying alcohol for DSs mates

[Thehalls191]

DS is in year 10 so his mates are all 14 and 15.

They've stared having house parties, usually around 30 to 40 kids (not at our house I should add!).

Im happy for DS to go, he's been to a few, he takes a few beers and has never got himself into a mess, he's home before 12.

He's asked DH to buy some alcohol for his mates and they'll give him the money. No spirits, just beer. DH has said yes.

I'm saying a big fat no. It's one thing supplying alcohol to your own DC, another thing entirely to supply it for other people's.

It's illegal isn't it?

Totally agree, I’d be fucking livid with your DH if I found he’d supplied my underage kid with alcohol. I’d probably call the police.

They're old enough for a couple of beers, no more than that though.

I agree but surely that's the decision of the parents to make, not DH.

Yes, I'm sure it must be!

I have a 15yo. If I found out they were giving their pocket money to a friend’s dad, who in turn bought them alcohol, I would be livid. Like, report this parent to the police livid.

"Anyone convicted of illegally supplying alcohol to someone under 18 would face a criminal record and could have to pay a substantial fine. This applies to people running or working in a pub or shop, a parent or guardian, or anyone else."

Thanks everyone, I do love being right!

DH understands what I'm saying, DS not so much but I don't care if I'm not the cool parent, at least I can sleep easy at night!

I'm amazed that the other parents allow these parties to happen in their homes, I'd be a nervous wreck!

Nope. The reason they’re asking your DH is because their own parents won’t buy it and that’s their prerogative. Best your DH doesn’t get involved.

100% agree with you OP. Buy for your own son by all means but your husband shouldn't be working as a 'not-for-profit' off-licence

I always allowed the parties at ours as I was strict and able to keep a control on them. The only other parent that allowed it tended to go away for the weekend and chaos ensued.

i was mega embarrassing though - if a teen was bringing alcohol their parent needed to call me and say that they were allowed. No chat with your parent, no alcohol. Amusingly at the start of it all the kids said to forget it, none of their friends would be interested, but as time passed this became the hangout house despite my “draconian” (in the word of one stroppy teen) rules.

A lot of parents, me included, would be furious with your DH. How to handle the whole teens/alcohol thing is a parental decision. Not someone else’s dads decision

I am a cool dm. All my dc's mates say so. I do not condone under age drinking. Or smoking. Under age alcohol damages dc... Physically.. And leads to problems with alcohol.. Proven.

I presume that the friends want DH to buy them beers because their own parents won't. I would be livid with your DH if he had bought my teen alcohol when I had made it clear that the answer was "no."

If he'd done this when my son was that age, I would absolutely phone the police. And given him merry hell! Luckily my son is a sporty one and not into house parties but that's not the point.

It is the parents decision not to buy alcohol for kids 4 years under the legal age!! Who the HELL does he think he is to subvert those parents wishes and supply them with booze?

Fucking idiot. Wants to be "cool" rather than actually being a sane, responsible adult.

I repeat, fucking idiot.

That's up to the parents. I would be livid if a random parent bought my son alcohol and I would be taking it further.

Yeah, I’d also be furious that he was supplying my child with alcohol.

Oh there's no need for that! You don't need to be so rude. He's a good man, he's just misjudged this one. He knows the boys, knows they've all been to a few of these parties before, he knows a couple of the families personally so just thought it was no big deal to get them beers while he's getting DSs, now I've explained the bigger picture he completely agrees with me.

Oh and I wouldn't assume that just because your DC is 'sporty' they won't want to go to a party with their mates at some point. All of DSs mates are on various sporting teams, one holds a cross country record for the county.

I remember a local case,guy bought kid cider passed it on ...kid had a reaction and died ...guy done time for manslaughter.

This sort of thing annoys me. My daughter 15 has twice come back from a party in an absolute state.

She has a health condition and medication that does not agree with alcohol but peer pressure sometimes makes it hard for her to say no.

Last time the parents texted us and said "just checking you are ok with us leaving some alcohol out for them"

I replied that DD was on medication and must not have alcohol. The mum replied ok we'll keep an eye on her.

She came home like she'd been heavily sedated having been "encouraged" to drink vodka shots.

I know DD has to take responsibility but in my house we don't offer alcohol to other people's children. If they sneak it in without us realising then that's up to them.

It's ridiculous. A friend of my dd was 15 when she went to a house party. The child's parents left a bit of booze and left them to it. The friend of my dd ended up in hospital and the police charged the party girl's parents. Its one think letting your dc have a couple of mates over for a pizza and a beer, under supervision and with the consent of the other parents, but anything else is dangerous.

Luckily my son is a sporty one and not into house parties but that's not the point.

DS (15) has told me that the most sporty ones at his school are the party animals! 😂 He’s also on a team, but not one of the top athletes.

I agree with PP’s, please advise your DH not to buy alcohol for other teens. Personally, I’d be angry with him if he bought anything for DS, I’d ring him and have a go, but I wouldn’t call the police. Once they’re 18 they can make their own decisions about alcohol, but 14/15 is too young.

Very irresponsible imo. Dd was ostracised by her friendship group for leaving a sleepover as she didn't want to drink alcohol.. I was sent some vile texts off the dm when I got dd home.. The dm works with SN dc and the sf was a local councillor in our community..
Did I mention the dc were 12?. Fucking 12 handed bottles of alcohol...
Dd was bullied at school and I informed school. They were referring it on further for investigation...

Wow that's terrible, I'm sorry your DD had such an awful experience. Very different situation to my OP.

Totally agree with you OP, I think it’s totally fine to get alcohol for your own child as that’s your call, but not for other people’s kids unless their parents have ok’d it first. I know when I was younger the parents used to take it in turns to buy the alcohol for me & my 2 friends but that was because between the 3 of us we would get a crate of dark fruits to share😂 and all parents were fully aware and knew this was the case!

But who gives you the right to supply under age dc with alcohol? If you were a shop worker and sold them some you personally would be fined 4k. Not the shop but you.. Why under your roof is it different?