For thinking DH shouldn't be buying alcohol for DSs mates

[Thehalls191]

DS is in year 10 so his mates are all 14 and 15.

They've stared having house parties, usually around 30 to 40 kids (not at our house I should add!).

Im happy for DS to go, he's been to a few, he takes a few beers and has never got himself into a mess, he's home before 12.

He's asked DH to buy some alcohol for his mates and they'll give him the money. No spirits, just beer. DH has said yes.

I'm saying a big fat no. It's one thing supplying alcohol to your own DC, another thing entirely to supply it for other people's.

Wow chill out!!

I'm fine with teens and drinking (in moderation)but I would absolutely draw the line at supplying alcohol to teens that are not mine, for legal reasons, for moral reasons and for safety reasons. What if a teen gets drunk, has an accident and dies?!

Should she chill out? The man in question has broken the law, has taken a parenting decision out of the hands of the actual parents and has potentially put young children in a dangerous situation. Sorry but I’m clearly not a cool parent because I’d call the police too! No 14 year old of mine would be drinking alcohol with my
consent. 16-17 I’d be happy enough with a few beers/low percentage wine/alcopops.

There is massive amounts of research out there showing a correlation between a young initial drinking age and a future alcohol use problem.

No he hasn't broken the law. He hasn't done anything.

Ok, considered breaking the law then had to have it explained to him by his wife that buying alcohol for minors is an illegal and immoral act.

Correct. Nothing wrong with having something explained to you, at any age. He took it on board straight away. He's a wonderful dad to DS and husband to me.

We’ve all got different standards, but I’d be sorely disappointed in a man who is old enough to be father to a young teenager needing it explained to him that buying alcohol for fourteen year old children is illegal 🙈.

Your responses here to everyone who has commented in a negative way have been very defensive - a bit odd seeing as you started the thread because you disagreed with your DH saying yes in the first place!

My son is year 10 there is NO way I would give him a few beers to take how irresponsible!!

Actually if you read through my replies, I've become progressively more defensive as posters have started being rude and judgemental. There's never any call for name calling and when posters are making stuff up eg.saying my DH has broken the law, then yes I will defend him. Theres nothing 'odd' about that.

I have clicked the 'thanks' button on most of the replies that respectfully disagreed with DH, I even wrote a post to thank them.

You’re correct about the first part, name calling is never necessary, and I apologise for mistakenly thinking he’d actually bought the children alcohol and therefore broken the law, that was my mistake when skim reading.

The defensiveness I was referring to was adding in comments about his worth as a DH and a father. It isn’t relevant how good or otherwise he is usually, in my opinion it’s bizarre that a grown man needs to have it explained to him that buying children alcohol is illegal! But as I said before we all have our own standards and if you’re happy with that then obviously that’s fine!

We won’t all agree - some here clearly think children drinking at quite a young age is fine, some seem convinced that their kids will abstain until 18! I fall somewhere in the middle, I’d give a drink to a 16/17 year old but 14 is just far too young in my book.

If one of the teenagers ends up needing treatment in hospital or gets in trouble...the police will want to know where the alcohol came from

@Thehalls191 I'm not perfect, would never claim to be, but offering to buy alcohol for other underage kids without their parents knowing is a pretty fucking low point of anybody's parenting.

And @Daffodilsarentfluffy is right ... other parents WOULD judge him and won't want their kids associating with your kids. Its true. So just as well you got to him before he did it.
You're being so defensive about him. We don't know him. He just sounds like a twat from this one scenario and that is all we can talk about.

So what was his actual thinking?

I wouldn't have said I 'name called' but you do you

The only reason I can think for potentially doing something so very stupid is to be thought of as cool

I can't believe what I'm reading.

Alcohol is a drug irrespective of its legality or not.

Your son and his mates are far too young to be drinking for a whole lot of physical, emotional, psychological, social and legal reasons.

You're husband is an idiot and you are defensive of him and condoning your son drinking and breaking the law because he is a child.

You have very low expectations of your son because you expect him to drink while underage. My sons are all of legal age and none of them drink through their own choice, most of their friends are the sake.

Your husband could be charged with supplying alcohol to minors

You'd be worried sick about them having a house party at your house but you're ok with him drinking in other people's homes.

The poor lad needs all the help he can get, I hope there are some decent adults in his life somewhere that can offer proper support and guidance because it doesn't sound as though he gets any off his parents.

Mine had a couple of beers at parties from 15/16 I wouldn't buy it for anyone else's kids but I'd prefer to know what mine were drinking rather than them going out trying to buy god knows what from who ever or wherever they can get it like your sons friends are doing

Well here in the US the legal drinking age is 21. Most kids start drinking in high school or college. Why anyone would give or be ok giving a 14-15 year old any alcohol is beyond me.

My dad would buy me a couple of beers around that age, wouldn't buy anyone else any though, I never asked him, my friends parents would buy their own children drinks. This wasn't for house parties though, this was every few weeks for a Friday night round each others houses.

@Momtotwokids It’s so bizarre that a young adult can vote, fight for their country, get married, etc., but not have a beer in a bar, isn’t it?!

They charged the parents whose house it was? On what charge? Nothing illegal about 15 year olds drinking in a private property (unlike the US). If the parents of said 15 year old knew they were going to party with alcohol present it isn’t the fault of the householder.

I have bought my son a (small) bottle of vodka and some Coca-Cola to take to a party, and knowing that they all share the drinks that each one brings, but I wouldn’t specifically buy alcohol for some other kids other than my own

It is not against the law to give alcohol to your teenager to drink in a private house. Buying for other kids is a bit different, but not illegal for your own.

Do you live in the USA?

100% do not think you are being unreasonable. My DD, also yr 10 (15yrs), has started attending house parties where there also seems to be copious amounts of alcohol supplied (I’m taking bottles of vodka and Jack Daniel’s etc) I’m lucky in as much as she is petrified of being sick so is in turn petrified of getting drunk. She went to a party last week and said she wanted to have a drink so I agreed she could take 2 cans of pre mixed cocktails (4%). She’s very honest as far as teenagers are and tells me generally what’s going on and I was really unhappy when she told me her friend drank one because her parents hadn’t given her any drink. I told her that she must never give them to others as I cannot and will not be seen supplying drinks to her friends!!
shes going to one tonight and has decided to not take any as she can’t guarantee no one else will drink it.
I can confirm though according to her they all drink and irresponsibly (as you would imagine) she said they all generally mix whatever spirits there are and down them hence me wanting her to have pre mixed 4% drinks IF she was going to drink. There is always (usually a girl) blind drunk and vomiting. One party the parent was having a go at them, as a load were drunk (on drink I can only assume she supplied) saying they can’t handle there drink (no s%^t Sherlock)

It is tricky because being firm about your child not drinking doesn’t mean they won’t do it it just means they are sneaky about it BUT as a parent you certainly cannot be buying other teens alcohol regardless of what you do for your own!