Guy lied about which university he went to

[Snoopy104]

We were talking about our backgrounds etc. And he told me he'd been to the 'uni of' of the town, which has a good rep.
I live pretty much next door to that uni so I asked him if he'd lived in halls close by.
He said no he'd lived in an area in the South of the city as his campus was based there.
The area he mentioned is a very nice, affluent neighbourhood and I had a look at the campus.
It turns out the 'uni of' doesn't have a campus there, it's the 'poly' that has a campus there.
I couldn't care less what uni he went to or even if he went to uni, I went to one of these so-called 'lesser' unis for my masters and I think in the grand scheme of things nobody really cares where you went, the right people wouldn't anyway.
However, the lying is a red flag for me. I get it was maybe to try and impress me or that he felt embarrassed, but the lying makes me uncomfortable. Would you say this is a red flag?

Didn't even know Cambridge had another uni tbh 😅 yeah maybe I'm being too picky, I just hate lying tbh.

More of a beige flag.

Was it recent? Just as an example, in my city Uni of had a campus in the south of the city which was sold to developers before Covid. Now they’re based solely in the city centre after building loads of modern facilities in the past few years.

How long ago was he at university?

I’m not sure this is a big deal. People tell fibs like this or lie by omission all the time.

talking about being a student in Oxford or talking about the ‘better’ uni where they did their masters, but never talking about their undergrad days at a former poly.

loads of people talk up (or down) different aspects of their life history to fit in.

Ive experienced lots of friends doing this who are otherwise good eggs.

yes - it spells insecurity, but aren’t we all?

( btw I’m usually the first to LTB or call out red flags)

I know someone that went to’Oxford’ Brookes, they invariably left off the Brookes. Even their wedding tables had Oxford college names. Insecurity. Exaggeration, misleading. Can’t find a positive adjective

My ex did the same. And then lied about pretty much everything else.

Did he not just say ‘I went to Nottingham’ (or wherever)? Or actually specify that it was the better one?

I think it’s a red flag for his whole personality.

someone that insecure will probably be difficult in other ways too.

Not sure if it's still the case, but the signs at Cambridge train station used to say "Welcome to Cambridge: home of Anglia Ruskin University." Well, that is also true...

How old is he? Maybe the Uni had another campus when he went there

I knew someone one who did the same thing. Told everyone he got a first from 'uni of' blah blah. Turned out it was actually the poly he went to. He was very full of himself and thought he was amazing.

Could be Liverpool / Hope from the way the locations are described

Oxford Brookes, Nottingham Trent? Tbh I couldn't care less and if it is Oxford Brookes, the number of times those poor graduates have to explain that no Brookes isn't the name of an 'real' Oxford college would do my head in and I would have long since given up.

I think this is something that happens a lot, tbh. I know parents who say the equivalent of "My son's at Oxford" when it's Oxford Brookes.

People are really harsh - I’ve seen that you’ve said he’s shown insecurities in other ways. That doesn’t mean he’d be a bad partner necessarily. It’s more of a ‘see how it goes’ situation I think.

Is he very young? Can't imagine why he'd be embarrassed not going to frequent gigs?
I do think you perhaps feel a little bit superior from that gig comment!

That's exactly what someone we knew years ago did! She went on to write a couple of mediocre books and even then was talking about her time 'up at Oxford'.

Yeah, I do feel bad if he's insecure about it, he really shouldn't be and I don't think I said anything to make him feel that way.
He said a couple of times he wishes he'd got a first too so seems insecure about getting a 2:1. I got a 2:2!

I don't feel superior at all, he just asked me what hobbies I've got, I said I like gigs sometimes and he said he doesn't go to any. Really not fussed if he does or not, they can be expensive.

He went about 5 years ago. Maybe it was demolished/taken over but it just seems convenient they'd have their own campus in the exact place the other uni does.

I was going to say so many people pretend to be into bands / types of music etc to try to build a relationship with their crush.

might be a sign he’s very impressed by you and feels a bit inadequate next to your effortless coolness!

i have a friend who’s always been a bit like this. Have known her for 25 years and she’s lovely in lots of other ways- a very loyal friend. I’ve also known her for ages so more likely to pick up when she fibs to someone in my earshot.

she moved areas recently and I overheard her telling her posh new neighbour that she moved from the slightly more upmarket area which borders the rougher area she moved from.

Try being an actual U of Oxford student from a non-traditional Oxbridge background going home with your friend in the vac and dealing with a barrage of questions from her parents’ friends who just needed to check about seven times that I wasn’t telling a teensy little fib and was really at Brookes.

(Apart from one guy who thought I must be at ‘the secretarial college’ if I wasn’t at Brookes.)

It got to the point where I was stoutly saying that Brookes was an excellent university, though I wasn’t at it.

I thought the same. Liverpool Uni does have halls in the Greenbank Campus which is in the south of the city. I don't think they have lectures there but still.

It would put me right off. The desire to control how you perceive him rather than being honest, and the insecurity driving that is not for me. That said, it clearly wouldn't bother everyone here so maybe red flag is too strong a term. I'd say the fact that it bothered you enough to post here means it's a non-starter. You'll always be wondering what he's bigging up to make himself look better at.