Guy lied about which university he went to

[Snoopy104]

We were talking about our backgrounds etc. And he told me he'd been to the 'uni of' of the town, which has a good rep.
I live pretty much next door to that uni so I asked him if he'd lived in halls close by.
He said no he'd lived in an area in the South of the city as his campus was based there.
The area he mentioned is a very nice, affluent neighbourhood and I had a look at the campus.
It turns out the 'uni of' doesn't have a campus there, it's the 'poly' that has a campus there.
I couldn't care less what uni he went to or even if he went to uni, I went to one of these so-called 'lesser' unis for my masters and I think in the grand scheme of things nobody really cares where you went, the right people wouldn't anyway.
However, the lying is a red flag for me. I get it was maybe to try and impress me or that he felt embarrassed, but the lying makes me uncomfortable. Would you say this is a red flag?

Why are you talking about polytechnics? They haven’t been called out for a generation. You’re either very old or just weird.

Poly's do not exist anymore they were converted to new unis' many years ago traditional universities are called Red Brick universities.

My thoughts too.

Jeffrey Archer did this. Oxford, when he meant Oxford Poly, I think. And look what a wrong 'un he turned out to be.

Run

Yes, we all know they haven't been polytechnics for years. As has been pointed out to numerous other people who have felt the need to say this, the OP used 'polys' as shorthand for post-1992 universities, to differentiate from the pre-1992 ancient/redbrick/plate-glass universities. Entry requirements continue, generally, to be higher for the latter group and they are therefore seen as more prestigious.

Another one who had an exH who lied about which university he had gone to and later found out this was the first of many lies, both small and big. You are right to be wary OP.

@DietrichandDiMaggio but if he only left 5 years ago and she is a similar age (ie mid 20s) I am still surprised she even uses/knows the word "polytechnic".
Another poster upthread said I would be wrong about that - but I really find it hard to believe.

Some people know about the culture and history of their country. Amazing!

@Geebray what I meant is do the younger generations really know what institutions used to be called.
I mean in education we used to have Elementary Schools, Mechanics Institutes and Central Schools.
Now they are known as Primary Schools, College and Secondary Schools.
Would your average 18 year old looking at university know that?

If people ask me, I just tell them the name of the city. They can ask for further clarification if they are interested. I went to the RG uni of..., not the newer uni with a similar name. I'm not misleading them. I don't think he was either. If I ask someone (outside of a job interview), it's is more likely I'm interested in where they spent those years rather than the ranking of their uni. He was not being misleading as he clearly told you where his campus was located. He didn't fake anything.

Granny Hyacinth will have let them know.

Yes. I know people who say they went to uni in Oxford. Turns out it was the poly that later became Oxford Brookes. They're not lying though just being economical with the truth. In the end, it doesn't matter a jot - once you get to know them better, they usually clarify!

OP: I shared earlier.. the fibbing and little white lies are masking bigger issues underneath.

IMO- steer clear now better than going further with this guy. I married a covert narc and it all started with little white lies. Not unlike what you described. There should not be questions now. If you are questioning, it's your inner voice telling you he is problematic and not the one. Please listen to yourself.

Or the UCAS points required.

It shows how snobbery can be misleading. I grew up in Oxford in an upper working class family, and we all had jobs in the university. Oxford Brookes isn't far from the town centre traditional universities, and is also seen as a good university. There are so many colleges that make up the University of Oxford. When I was at the Oxford College of FE which was in the town centre, I had a job in an Oxford University college for mature students, and the building was quite new. I'm sure it was still classed as Oxford University.
One good thing about a city with so many colleges, was the number of good book shops and a massive public library, available for all.

As a person who just worked as a domestic in a few of the colleges, I'd be sat on the bus going up the High Street, thinking it looked like a fairy tale. I thought everywhere was as nice as Oxford. It was only after I moved to near Bath that I found another place that seemed like another world to what was outside.

I feel like if he lied, he'd go to full works and also lie about halls? Idk it seems strange tbh and I'd just ask him in a jokey way. You do sound very invested in looking into this though.

@Geebray yes but more people go to university now than in the past. Many from families that were never the type of university going ones and the all the jargon (ucas points, RG, Red Brick ??) means absolutely nothing to their families.

OP sounds a bit of a snob

How old are you 18? You care enough about which university to go and investigate. So immature

They are in their twenties, so which university you went to is a massive part of your identity. Especially if you lie about it.

The red flag for me would be insecurity rather than lying. He thinks the real him isn’t good enough so has made himself sound more impressive. Very immature character trait and imo really unattractive when a man isn’t confident in himself

Are there other 'red flags'?. I personally don't see a major problem here. Having had a spell hiring people I've seen plenty of red flags. Everything from the same uni issue to fake previous jobs. All I see is them bigging up their education a bit.

I went out with someone who said she usually spent a bit on clothes, it turned out the Versace items were fake knock offs she got on holiday from a market. She said it made her feel better. Maybe the same with this person. It's a confidence thing. Though more 'exaggerations' and I would tread with caution/start to run....

Wow! That's embarrassingly pretentious about the wedding tables. Surely the majority of the people there must have known they went to OB. I'm cringing for them.

A guy lying about his background might be a red flag - but at the very least,even if he turns out not to be a liar/fantasist, this kind of misrepresentation would give me the ick

Huh? You’d say Nottingham Uni surely? Or just Nottingham? Why university of? I went to Manchester and say I went to Manchester Uni. Not The University of Manchester (because I’m not that pretentious). Actually when I went there its full name was the Victoria University of Manchester. I never ever said that or even put it on my CV.