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Original poster

To ask family member to pay for money they owe me for a meal?

155 replies

Supernova23 · 10/04/2024 17:15

I don’t get on well with this particular relative, they are very challenging and quite toxic. On a family holiday we had all run out of cash as it was the last day, so I offered to put it on my card and said they could transfer me the money afterwards. It’s been three days now and no money from them. How do I approach someone I don’t really get on with and ask for the money they owe me? Everyone walks around on tenterhooks around this person not just me.

OP posts:
EVHead · 10/04/2024 17:17

What are the consequences of reminding them? (Given that the consequence of not reminding them is that you’re out of pocket!)

Comedycook · 10/04/2024 17:17

Send a message

Hi x...hope you're well. Just in case you have forgotten, if you could pay me £x for the meal we had on (insert date), I'd really appreciate it. Here's my bank details in case you've lost them. Thanks.

GalileoHumpkins · 10/04/2024 17:25

Dearest difficult family member, you may recall that we enjoyed a meal together on holiday that I kindly paid for with my bank card. We all agreed that the money would be transferred to me after we returned home. Sadly, I have not received any money from you and it is with the greatest regret that I must insist that you pay me the full amount immediately.
Regards and good day Supernova.

SilkFloss · 10/04/2024 17:26

Out of those two suggestions, go with the first. Second comes across as taking the piss.

blueandwhitesquares · 10/04/2024 17:36

Ask

YesIDidMeanToBeRudeFucko · 10/04/2024 17:45

GalileoHumpkins · 10/04/2024 17:25

Dearest difficult family member, you may recall that we enjoyed a meal together on holiday that I kindly paid for with my bank card. We all agreed that the money would be transferred to me after we returned home. Sadly, I have not received any money from you and it is with the greatest regret that I must insist that you pay me the full amount immediately.
Regards and good day Supernova.

I would send this one.

Damnyourheadshoulderskneesandtoes · 10/04/2024 17:47

GalileoHumpkins · 10/04/2024 17:25

Dearest difficult family member, you may recall that we enjoyed a meal together on holiday that I kindly paid for with my bank card. We all agreed that the money would be transferred to me after we returned home. Sadly, I have not received any money from you and it is with the greatest regret that I must insist that you pay me the full amount immediately.
Regards and good day Supernova.

I like this. It really has the personal touch.

aesopsgables · 10/04/2024 17:47

Comedycook · 10/04/2024 17:17

Send a message

Hi x...hope you're well. Just in case you have forgotten, if you could pay me £x for the meal we had on (insert date), I'd really appreciate it. Here's my bank details in case you've lost them. Thanks.

Send one like this - the other one gives too much for arsy relative to engage with.

silverneedle · 10/04/2024 17:48

Comedycook · 10/04/2024 17:17

Send a message

Hi x...hope you're well. Just in case you have forgotten, if you could pay me £x for the meal we had on (insert date), I'd really appreciate it. Here's my bank details in case you've lost them. Thanks.

I would send this one.

SharpWriter · 10/04/2024 17:50

Comedycook · 10/04/2024 17:17

Send a message

Hi x...hope you're well. Just in case you have forgotten, if you could pay me £x for the meal we had on (insert date), I'd really appreciate it. Here's my bank details in case you've lost them. Thanks.

I like this one - just ask nicely. No need for any sarcasm or funny business (especially when the other person is toxic).

YesIDidMeanToBeRudeFucko · 10/04/2024 17:51

Damnyourheadshoulderskneesandtoes · 10/04/2024 17:47

I like this. It really has the personal touch.

Show quote history

The only thing I would change is to say yours sincerely. It never hurts to be more formal.

Original poster
Supernova23 · 12/04/2024 20:33

She’s refusing to pay for the meal now as she paid for a taxi at one point on the trip. I didn’t ask for her to pay for the taxi and the meal cost a lot more than the taxi.

OP posts:
hottchocolatte · 12/04/2024 21:51

Tell her to deduct half the cost of the taxi?

hottchocolatte · 12/04/2024 21:51

How much is it OP?

she clearly isn't planning to pay

LinaLouLa · 13/04/2024 10:55

Supernova23 · 12/04/2024 20:33

She’s refusing to pay for the meal now as she paid for a taxi at one point on the trip. I didn’t ask for her to pay for the taxi and the meal cost a lot more than the taxi.

I'd remind her that it was agreed by everyone on the night that everyone would pay you back.
I'm a difficult so and so, and I would send to everyone and ask someone else to confirm that to her!

DottyLottieLou · 13/04/2024 10:58

Yep, deduct half the taxi fare (or your share). She probably knows everyone is scared of her and uses this to get out of paying for stuff. Don't let her get away with it. Stand up to her.

Emmz1510 · 13/04/2024 11:01

Supernova23 · 12/04/2024 20:33

She’s refusing to pay for the meal now as she paid for a taxi at one point on the trip. I didn’t ask for her to pay for the taxi and the meal cost a lot more than the taxi.

Deduct the cost of the taxi from her share of the meal?

Northernladdette · 13/04/2024 11:02

I’d send them a polite reminder, you did them a favour by helping them out, now they owe you 🙂

ChocolateTea · 13/04/2024 11:05

Just reply again “oh yes sorry, so your part of the meal was £50, minus my half of the taxi at £15, so just transfer me the difference of £35. Thanks!”

Keeprejoining · 13/04/2024 11:09

If someone owes you money, put it on the group chat , this usually does the trick, as CF don't like every one to see what they are up to. If you don't get on with this family member, don't worry, letting them have a free meal won't improve things.

Shinyandnew1 · 13/04/2024 11:13

ChocolateTea · 13/04/2024 11:05

Just reply again “oh yes sorry, so your part of the meal was £50, minus my half of the taxi at £15, so just transfer me the difference of £35. Thanks!”

This.

Do it on a group chat. Do others still owe you?

QueenMegan · 13/04/2024 11:14

Sure I will contribute my share of taxi ride thanks so much. Remaining amount owed is xxx
Cheers sorry to have to ask.😀
X

Lol.

PassingStranger · 13/04/2024 11:19

Just ask and don't do it again.

user1471505356 · 13/04/2024 11:33

Move on, you are only doing your head in.

BeaRF75 · 13/04/2024 11:39

Just forget this money, but remind yourself never to go on holiday with this person again, as it's clearly a stressful experience.