To ask family member to pay for money they owe me for a meal?

[Supernova23]

I don’t get on well with this particular relative, they are very challenging and quite toxic. On a family holiday we had all run out of cash as it was the last day, so I offered to put it on my card and said they could transfer me the money afterwards. It’s been three days now and no money from them. How do I approach someone I don’t really get on with and ask for the money they owe me? Everyone walks around on tenterhooks around this person not just me.

Did they say exactly when they would repay you? If they said as soon as you got home ignore the rest of this.

I’m just thinking they might be waiting to be paid because unless they had hard cash at home they had run out of money. Obviously they must repay you but to keep things cordial maybe ask them when you can expect the money. I’d be avoiding conflict as much as possible as some people view falling out as an an acceptable reason to not pay their debts

Work out your share of the taxi and ask them to pay the difference of the meal to you. Why are you all pussy footing around her? If everyone else feels the same why was she on holiday with you all?

Group chat. "for anyone that still needs my bank details for the meal here they are, oh and toxic arse I've deducted my share of the taxi from what you owe so it's now £xx, thanks all"

Sounds like you all went on a holiday which none of you could afford. And that’s when shit happens. You should have only put your own meal on your credit card because this was clearly going to happen given the type of person you know them to be.

I'd reply that's fine just transfer me the difference of x amount

Just leave it and make a mental note not to lend this person money again.

Yeah I would let it go outwardly but inwardly they would be dead to me 😂

I'd put it down to a bad experience, but not bother with her again.

This is great.
It gets it into the family chat without being pointed & obvious towards difficult relative & negates taxi excuse 👍

Did you have a group WhatsApp group or similar for planning the trip?
Send a reminder via the group

Thanks to everyone who sent me the money for the meal on x date.
Person A you still owe me £amount can you please send it to [your bank details]

You don't like the person so them being passed off with you is irrelevant.
Get the money back & never help them again.

This is too fawning -why should you be sorry for asking 🙄?

Make this the most expensive meal they never pay for. Don’t travel with them again and say why. I presume its either a sister or a favored cousin so it may be difficult but in the long run you should go low contact/no contact.

That would put my back up.

This is good.

Deduct your share of the taxi cost and ask for the rest

This
⬆️

NO WAY would I leave it. Cheeky cow.

This!Don't just let it go as suggested by PP because that is what the CF relies on !

This is perfect.

MN rule 362.
Never socialise with relatives.
It often ends acrimoniously.
You can choose your friends fortunately.

Hit her with the figures. Taxi was x amount, dinner was this amount, you need to transfer the difference.

Who would say that 😂

Write it and them off

Threads like this make me realise how lucky I am with my brother. We’d pay for each other and not worry, and on the odd occasion where he’d owe me…eg if we were paying for a birthday present for a parent, then I’d send a text saying “Where’s my money bitch” and we’d laugh about it.

in the OP’s situation, the person is difficult so I’d send a message.
Half the taxi - 10
meal cost - 50
you owe me 40. Thanks.

And don’t use sorry at all in the message….makes you look like you’re doing something wrong.