To ask family member to pay for money they owe me for a meal?

[Supernova23]

I don’t get on well with this particular relative, they are very challenging and quite toxic. On a family holiday we had all run out of cash as it was the last day, so I offered to put it on my card and said they could transfer me the money afterwards. It’s been three days now and no money from them. How do I approach someone I don’t really get on with and ask for the money they owe me? Everyone walks around on tenterhooks around this person not just me.

This.
Plus avoid them in general. They sound like a dick.

Do others also owe for the taxi?

Were you the only one with a card?

Did she take the piss with her meal do you think with the intention of not paying back?

I actually think 3 days for a family member is really not long, and unless it was a very expensive meal, you should have just treated her since she paid for a taxi. Unless it was a very expensive meal.

I would just send a message and just say ‘hi x, just tallied up the payments on the last day and it’s £xx you owe me. Do you need my details?’

Hey, hope you have recovered from the trip- such a lovely time. These are my bank details for the £54 you owe me from the meal on the Friday [insert bank details] take care, see you soon x

This makes sense.

I would just ask politely and see what response you get.
However I wouldn't be inclined to 'lend' to this individual again.

I'd post on the group chat, "Can anyone lend me £X this month? I'm a bit hard up because some people have said they won't pay me back for the group meal and I'm afraid I hadn't budgeted for this. Thanks to X, Y and Z (essentially everyone apart from Aunt) for paying me back - appreciate it."

Sack this asshole off, send out a group family text with screenshots of her being a dick and never have anything to do with her again.

Aunt, Schmaunt. She's a user and you need to stand up for yourself.

If you want in a group chat with this woman then do it there.

Does anyone else owe money?

Since she's now refusing to pay for the meal, I suggest she not be included in any more family outings.

I would also not go out with family again if she was invited.

“Hi, just to try and keep everything fair, I’ve looked at the costs from the holiday just to make sure it’s ok split evenly, your share is £xx, please let me know if there is any issues. Thanks again for a great time” :)

Perfect.

Yeah, you're not getting it back are you
Lesson learned, forget it and never pay for anything for her again

Maybe she's skint after the trip. I'd give her to the end of the month/pay day then text back.
"Just a reminder. You owe me dinner money minus taxi cost. Here are my details. "

If she still refuses call her out to rest of family

A family holiday where everyone is paying by cash and all went out for a meal despite having all run out of cash sounds odd to me. Was there any discussion of payment before or during the meal?
Has everyone else paid you? I think a message in group chat is the way to go. No apology. And definitely don’t say anything like needing the payment to avoid an overdraft, true or not. Don’t give any information.

As others have said, ask for the difference that she owes you - publicly on a chat if you think she’s going to be an A hole about it. Be the one to stick up to her and then keep her at arms length - let us know how it plays out please!

Divide the taxi fare by the number of people in it, and deduct your share from the cost of her meal. Be as petty as you need to be.

If you've got a group chat post in there with a reminder for everyone:

'Hey everyone, just a reminder to please pay me back for the meal I bought at the end of the holiday by the end of the week. If you can't make that deadline please drop me a message - If I haven't had money or heard from you by Sunday I'll name and shame in here! :')'

Personally I wouldn't think three days is long for someone to pay you back, unless you've asked for it immediately.

Re the taxi money, have you offered to pay for your share of that too? 'Oh I'd entirely forgotten about that, you can take the £5 for my share of that off the £40 you owe me' type thing?

Best advice is never see this person again. People who cheat you are that's.

I find a group email or what’s app message to everyone - “Hi All, I put £X on my car to cover us all for dinner when we ran out of cash. Please would everyone transfer me £X today? Many thanks”. Hopefully all the other confirmations give the difficult person a nudge. If they don’t pay, say to the group - that’s everyone but difficult relative. Difficult relative, please would you transfer.

No one needs relatives like this. My mother was visiting her sister on the other side of the country, which meant having to see my Mum’s problematic nephew. They both stopped for petrol somewhere and the nephew filled his car and told the man at the counter that my mother was covering his petrol as well has hers. My mother paid for his petrol as well as hers and has fumed and complained about it ever since. She really would have been better off refusing to pay at the time. I think it’s the same case here. Next time, refuse to pay.

Ask her to knock off your share of the taxi fare and pay the rest she owes for the meal to you. What a CF.

She’s ignoring my texts now. Hasn’t replied to any, just left them on delivered. No one doesn’t look at their phone for 72 hours.