Have you damaged the life of a child?

[LargeSquareRock]

The Cass Review into child’s gender services is out. For those of us who have been following this for years, it really is a No Shit Sherlock moment. All of our beliefs and fears for what is happening to vulnerable children (mainly autistic, traumatised or same-sex attracted girls) is set out in black and white.

https://cass.independent-review.uk/home/publications/final-report/

So,

Every doctor, psychologist and therapist who ignored evidence and went along with this medical scandal and who set a child on the path of no return to future infertility, osteoporosis, increased heart disease and dementia risk, lower IQ and foreshortened life span;

Every school counsellor who felt they were Rosa Parks, whispering secrets to vulnerable kids and damaging the parent-child relationship;

Every teacher who adopted gender ideology and actively poured poison into their student’s ears;

Every teacher who shut down a student who wasn’t toeing the party line;

Every teacher who made girls feel ashamed for not being happy about sharing toilets with boys;

Every social worker who damaged the parent-child relationship and threatened parents with consequences for not affirming their child’s trans identity;

Every child’s friend’s “cool” parent who claimed their home was a sanctuary from the child’s bigoted parents;

Every autism organisation staff member or volunteer who swallowed the nonsense whole and damaged a generation of autistic girls;

Every person who cut off friends when they raised concerns about trans ideology and kids;

Every Facebook group moderator who blocked members raising the mildest questioning of gender ideology, then out up the sickening virtue signalling post about “no hate allowed”;

Every single person who chanted “protect trans kids” without knowing a single thing about the issues;

Every sports coach who allowed boys into the girl’s teams and berated objecting parents and girls as bigots;

Every separated parent going along with the child’s trans nonsense to get back at the other parent.;

Everyone who has ever donated to Mermaids;

Every single person who blindly believed that a parent’s doubts about transitioning their child were based on transphobia and bigotry, not love and concern;

Everyone who has ever told a child that society hates them because of their trans identity;

Every parent who didn’t do their due diligence and happily went along with their child and who enjoyed the attention of having a trans child;

Every politician (pretty much all of them) who decided to ride this one out, even though they could see the harm occurring in real time

This disaster, ruining the lives of a generation of children, is on you.

🙄

Fully agree. It's an unequivocally good thing that this thread is here, in AIBU.

Agreed.

i agree.
and Rosa parks? The civil rights activist?! Wtf?

It’s been proven that making people ashamed or worried about their actions just causes them to double down even further. Congratulations OP, you’ve just damaged the chance of a lot of people accepting that their way forward might not be the best way forward. And I say that as a GC woman. Blame and anger drive wedges on both sides of the debate, it doesn’t bring people together. Your ignorance is astounding and definitely unneeded and unwelcome in this matter.

Can you not see thought that if all those 'many' had refused to go along with what we all know to be a hideous lie then this could have been put to bed a long time ago.

A lot of women who have stood against this have lost jobs, friends n even family in some cases because they did the right thing n called this out from day one. I have zero sympathy for cowards.

Theres no way anyone can truly believe that medical and surgical interventions done to children or even adults is an appropriate 'treatment' for being confused about what sex you are. It's absolutely dystopian nightmare level thinking that affirming delusions by carving holes into men and rolling up arm skin n sewing onto women makes them the opposite sex. Or thinking we should somehow have the right to block puberty and the natural progression of child development.
Anyone pretending that this was/is the most appropriate path is a complete psychopath n those trying to justify the actions of these nutcases are just as bad. We should be horrified and angry not trying to find ways to let these people off the hook.

Most of those on my list are professionals who should be up to date in child development and safeguarding. I don’t think I am being harsh enough about them.

The thing is, though, the "up to date" professional development and safeguarding training they will have been receiving will have been from the standpoint of the harmful ideology. It's probably the professionals who are less up to date with the latest trends, latest language and buzzwords, who stepped back more and said... hang on what are we doing here?

Every separated parent going along with the child’s trans nonsense to get back at the other parent.

No one has ever done this. It's just something that bitter dads say, right up there with "my ex is a narcissist" and "she poisoned the kids against me".

Whilst I didn’t affirm my child - had annual social service investigations as a result, definitely been alienated from long term friends, so I found myself post lock down very isolated and lonely with just a couple of very dear friends in my corner - I think that there needs to be understanding and support for many affirming parents.

There are definitely a small number who seem to be culpable in their children’s/YP’s medicalisation (former leader of Mermaids being a prime example), I do think many parents were groomed by so-called specialists and clinical professionals to trust them and bank their reservations, or they were cowed into silence by strident teachers/therapists/social workers out of fear of loosing their child.

I was only able to hold the line because I’m AuDHD too and remember the hell that puberty was for me, the fear of it with an unsupportive (toxic) mother. I could see what DC was experiencing was not unlike my own teendom. That and the bloody-minded fixed ASD mindset, the degree in psychology that meant I was the person who realised my child was on the spectrum not the teachers, medical or professional staff who had already failed to help her between the ages of 7-12. My faith in professionals was already shattered.

As was my DH who completely and unquestioningly deferred to me on matters relating to the children, to his faith that they were my life and I would walk across a sea of broken glass to protect them.

Many, many parents when faced with this new, frightening phenomenon SHOULD have been able to rely on a child centred, science-backed, exploratory approach; they SHOULD have been able to trust that the complex needs of their child would be placed above an unfounded ideological approach; they SHOULD have been able to make decisions for their child in the knowledge that the advice was completely sound and was aimed at ensuring their child reached adulthood physically unharmed and with a healthy normal adulthood ahead of them, albeit with MH issue that may need long term support. That this was not the case is a crime and many of these parents deserve compassion and support, as they were victims too.

Sorry, will get off my soapbox now, and go walk the dogs…

I agree with this ruling and think that it's a good thing. But I thinks it's very unhelpful, perhaps downright ghoulish, to start crowing that people trying their best have ruined children's lives. Why can't we just be happy that there is now steps taken to protect children, why do we also have to dance the 'nanananana I told you so' dance? Most practitioners and parents care deeply about the children under their care, they didn't do what they did to hurt them. Hopefully now they will readjust what they consider to be in the children's best interest and act accordingly. We need to gracefully allow them to do this.

Yes, one of the worst outcomes of this whole thing would be if the small numbers of children who need puberty blockers to postpone excessively early puberty (with the growth stunting and psychological issues that disorder can cause), have their treatment interfered with.

It has always been the case that a lot of paediatric prescribing is done "off licence" as "gold standard" clinical trials are more difficult to achieve in children especially if small numbers are involved. When this is done thoughtfully and sensibly and best practice continues to be widely disseminated, it is rare that problems arise. When it goes off piste into non-tested theory without wide discussion of the potential consequences, as seems to have happened with puberty blockers (just because they get called that doesn't mean that is what they do ...).... not good.

What about if it’s the dad doing the transing, not the mum?

https://www.theaustralian.com.au/nation/family-court-judge-rules-fathers-gender-nonconformity-confused-his-children/news-story/6b18e0341d4974c40bf0b18627162a56

This whole article is an eye opener. The judge found

“(The father) appeared unable to prioritise the children’s needs ahead of his own negative feelings for the mother,” Justice Beckhouse said.
“Through his actions and behaviour (he) has caused an enmeshed and co-dependent relationship with the children to develop.”
She said the father’s actions “have often undermined the mother and excluded her from participating in the children’s lives to the maximum extent possible”.

I see your point. But I believe the debate needs a shock in order to reset properly.

The risk is the news gets buried and people continue as normal - only a couple of days ago the teaching union NEU voted to ignore the govt advice on social transitioning.

The ideas that kids transitioning is somehow positive and progressive, and questioning transition is harmful or bigoted, are deeply ingrained due to years of well funded activism and promotion by celebrities, charities and the media.

I think people who have been too influenced by gender ideology need to feel a fraction of the social pressure and criticism that people on the child safeguarding side have been subjected to for years.

Refreshing to see multiple posts from people who can disagree with OP, without complaining about the existence of the thread in the first place.

I've only read the headlines about the report, but I am pleased to see reference made to "registered at birth" when referring to sex rather than "assigned at birth" which always sounded like there were nefarious midwives choosing sex at random.

I don’t think the OP is too harsh at all.

It's still a bit slippery, though... implying it wasn't an innate and definite state that was observed and accurately recorded.

Oh, I know. I suppose it's closer to reality (a fact was registered) than before.

Leave Rosa Parks out of it.

If you think doctors take the time to sit down and walk people through the side -effects - of basic or complicated drugs, then I'd suggest that you've either been lucky with your HCPs, or haven't ever been on them

Even when the doctors do explain side-effects, possible complications etc, people often don't fully understand the implications, or ignore them / totally miss them because they are fixated on what they see as a "cure" for what they imagine is ailing them - and this happens with adults. there is NO WAY a child should be expected to give informed consent to a decision which is so life-altering.

They aren't intellectually or emotionally capable of it.

That's exactly what the poster wanted people to do. That's her point.

Refreshing to see multiple posts from people who can disagree with OP, without complaining about the existence of the thread in the first place.

Yes exactly. I think there have been some good points made challenging some of the statements in the OP. We can learn from each other. That's healthy.

So which professionals have been claiming to be Rosa Parks? In what way would claiming to be Rosa Parks have any connections with what the OP is discussing? She wants people to leave Rosa Parks out of it? She's the only one I've heard bringing Rosa Parks into it.

Nonsense. The only thing that needs silencing is the bigotry. That still leaves plenty of room for rational discussion.

I hope they don’t think it’s gross and disgusting. That’s not healthy.