Have you damaged the life of a child?

[LargeSquareRock]

The Cass Review into child’s gender services is out. For those of us who have been following this for years, it really is a No Shit Sherlock moment. All of our beliefs and fears for what is happening to vulnerable children (mainly autistic, traumatised or same-sex attracted girls) is set out in black and white.

https://cass.independent-review.uk/home/publications/final-report/

So,

Every doctor, psychologist and therapist who ignored evidence and went along with this medical scandal and who set a child on the path of no return to future infertility, osteoporosis, increased heart disease and dementia risk, lower IQ and foreshortened life span;

Every school counsellor who felt they were Rosa Parks, whispering secrets to vulnerable kids and damaging the parent-child relationship;

Every teacher who adopted gender ideology and actively poured poison into their student’s ears;

Every teacher who shut down a student who wasn’t toeing the party line;

Every teacher who made girls feel ashamed for not being happy about sharing toilets with boys;

Every social worker who damaged the parent-child relationship and threatened parents with consequences for not affirming their child’s trans identity;

Every child’s friend’s “cool” parent who claimed their home was a sanctuary from the child’s bigoted parents;

Every autism organisation staff member or volunteer who swallowed the nonsense whole and damaged a generation of autistic girls;

Every person who cut off friends when they raised concerns about trans ideology and kids;

Every Facebook group moderator who blocked members raising the mildest questioning of gender ideology, then out up the sickening virtue signalling post about “no hate allowed”;

Every single person who chanted “protect trans kids” without knowing a single thing about the issues;

Every sports coach who allowed boys into the girl’s teams and berated objecting parents and girls as bigots;

Every separated parent going along with the child’s trans nonsense to get back at the other parent.;

Everyone who has ever donated to Mermaids;

Every single person who blindly believed that a parent’s doubts about transitioning their child were based on transphobia and bigotry, not love and concern;

Everyone who has ever told a child that society hates them because of their trans identity;

Every parent who didn’t do their due diligence and happily went along with their child and who enjoyed the attention of having a trans child;

Every politician (pretty much all of them) who decided to ride this one out, even though they could see the harm occurring in real time

This disaster, ruining the lives of a generation of children, is on you.

I think you have done the right thing. Having a good relationship with DC will make them feel safer in being able to detransition if that's what they want and will support their mental health.

It's a case of 'when you know better, you do better' though isnt it....

All of the people on your list are professionals trained in a wide range of things & dealing with multiple children at the same time. So I don't see how calling on them to admit to damaging a child for not being clued up about something relatively modernly researched because it has a personal interest for you could possibly have an affect ?!?!?

I agree things are getting better for both sides in different ways & research is paramount to learning more but your attitude is a bit confrontational at best!

Imagine all those people though who have their careers built on their own doctorates and articles supporting affirming only care. They must feel either like complete crap because they supported ideologically driven theories as material reality and inadvertently caused harm or they are defiantly clinging to this same ideological concepts and defending poor evidence.

Just to clarify, I am not talking about people in positions such as teachers and health care professionals, those who sought balance. I am talking about those at WPATH who fully supported the ideological drive, those academics who wrote doctorates supporting the ideology, etc.

There appears to be a lot of criticism on X that Cass has set "too high a standard" by insisting on double blind studies. I have no background in science. Can anyone clarify?

Insufferable and patronising.
As if we haven't read it, don't get it, couldn't possibly understand it if we don't spend our lives in the FWR echo chamber.
These conversations exist in the 'real' world too, you know.

@menohnopausal

OP your post hits hard. I often wonder if I've "damaged the life of my child".

I believe the OP and most other gender critical posters here are emphatically not talking about you. You clearly were in a very difficult situation and doing the best you could for your child. The OP talks about parents who enjoyed the attention of having a trans child, and there are certainly those on social media, for whom the child is just a prop and a way to gain social currency.

Oh. Thanks for that.

We are constantly told that these discussions never happen outside of FWR. It is great to know that these discussions really do happen in the real world!

Sonia Appleby also. Her case isn’t as well know but was absolutely crucial in drawing attention to safeguarding failures.

I think the doctors who carried out gender surgery on children should be struck off.
Shocking treatment of vulnerable children. Schools are complicit and this needs to change as well.
The culture of fear is shocking, the attacking women who speak out, the cancelling of women - all shocking and I can't believe it was allowed.

Thanks for this perspective.

You come across like a mother who only wants the best for her child.

It's worth remembering that Dr Cass does acknowledge that for some people medical transition will be the right approach. Puberty blockers will still be available in the context of clinical trials, and if I have understood correctly children would need to have experienced long-standing gender dysphoria, i.e. from early childhood, to be eligible to participate. So I understand that to mean that children such as yours who have suffered from early onset and persistent gender dysphoria, without any alternative explanation, are most likely to be "genuinely trans".

I'm neither "insufferable" nor "patronising" thanks. Sorry you feel that way, but it seems to me that it's you who are lashing out in anger bc this hasn't gone the way you'd prefer. It's just you seem incredibly determined not to have this talked about outside wht you call "the echo chamber" of the FWR board. That "echo chamber" which knew about this years ago and was desperately trying to whistleblow, while people like you called us an echo chamber. If you knew all about everything in this report, why haven't you done anything about it? Why have you gone along with it?

Because if "everyone" DID know about all this as you claim, then the OP is entirely justified in her anger against them all, frankly. Because fuck-all's been done about it for years. It's been denied.

Really wish teachers like you had been the ones leading the way at our school, but Deputy Head/Head of Pastoral Care was a rabid rainbow warrior. The rest of the staff had no choice, i think, but wave the flags and dance to the beat of her drum.

My career is already fucked at this point but what pleases me about the Cass report is not just the narrative and her conclusions but that these were based firmly not on ideology, feelings or a faux moral high ground but on a rigorous appraisal of the evidence undertaken in an impartial but caring fashion.

We need more of this and the Cass report is a reminder of its importance.

Most of those on my list are professionals who should be up to date in child development and safeguarding. I don’t think I am being harsh enough about them.

The massive surge in gender ideology is a relatively new thing.

Many of those professionals will still have been doing their best to deal with a ‘new world order’ with limited information, both in terms of quantity, quality and bias.

Many of those professionals will have been doing their best whilst hamstrung by higher ups in their organisation hell bent on being politically correct.

Many of those professionals will have been doing their best to provide guidance within the context of a multi agency approach which has tied their hands to varying degrees.

Most of these professionals will have been doing their best but unable to stand up and be counted to the Exeter they might wish because they have bills to pay and food to out in the table for their own families, and can’t risk losing their jobs by shouting back against gender rhetoric.

Yes, kids have been damaged and it’s fucking awful but let’s lay the blame with the system rather than lynching individuals working within it, who may well have had as many doubts as the rest of us but been unable/not known how to express them, much less get them listened to and acted upon.

Yes - I was surprised and so pleased to see this. We all know how vulnerable this age group can be.

I'm hopeful that if society removes the influence of extreme trans activism from schools with Cass's determination that socially transitioning children must only happen via qualified clinicians, that will remove a major "recruiting ground" for transactivists. It's not a quick cure but is a start if children in schools aren't obsessing about pronouns, sexuality / gender identity.

And for holding the line with your child. Many of us appreciate what a desperately difficult and lonely path that has been for so many parents. Hopefully one more benefit from Cass - that parents will finally be allowed to engage and support their children without allegations of "transphobia" interfering in the sensitive parent / child relationship.

I couldn’t have put it better myself. I also question the motives of those who are so insistent that this headline news and medical scandal be hidden away from mainstream view. That’s one of the tactics that has allowed such damage to be inflicted for the sake of gender ideology.

Please tell us which party that is.

@EveSix it doesn’t help that the NHS/CAMSH/CMHRS services won’t touch autism - you have to be referred to a different department for that.

So if you are experiencing ROGD because you are ASD/ADHD with a side helping of ODD and OCD, starting periods is a cataclysmic psychological event. But they won’t touch any of the above, because, like it’s autism.

So what about the self-harming/depression? Well, has DC tried holding an ice-cube really hard when the urge comes? Oh, and we can try another ante-depressant but it can be hard to prescribe the right one because people with ASD/ADHD respond differently to these meds.

How about support for the OCD or social anxiety then? Er, well, it’s because DC is autistic innit? So, yeah, can’t do much but we have some pretty worksheets for them if they fancy it…

and the RODG? Yeah, well, that’s not our area of expertise, but DC’s on the Tavi waitlist yeah?

Rinse and repeat.

Hard to be an 'echo chamber' if the same discussions are being held in real life though. Kind shows comments to be incoherent really.

I don't fully agree with the way OP has framed this issue, but some of the posts complaining about her having the thread in the first place are almost heroically stupid.

@BusyMummy001, snap! We're probably on some of the same FB groups... Solidarity.

I think how these children and young people have been treated is going to be the scandal of the century.

The real life stories of ruined lives won't come out for another few years though once these young people realise their fertility, health and sex lives have been ruined. Accounts are starting to come out now. The stories about the failed healing from the genital surgeries are like something from a horror movie with necrosis, infections and collapse of structures.

Hopefully these people will sue the doctors, counsellors etc.

@EveSix not sure whether to feel solidarity or despair that our experience is somehow universal. 🫂 The state of the NHS on both GD and autism support is tragically appalling.

But yes, we’ve probably crossed paths IRL of some of these other fora (bayswater group?!)

The OP's list is harsh but fair.

We've been called "biological essentialists" for describing reality, "bigots" for wanting evidence-based healthcare, and been told safeguarding is "a transphobic dog whistle".

So it turns out we were right all along, but were just a bit too toxic in calling out a medical scandal. Perhaps if we'd been a bit more ladylike (worn pink leggings?) we wouldn't have forced those poor TRAs into a polarised debate?

The complaints about this thread being in the open on this board mirror what has happened with the transitioning of children.
Frantic parents accused of transphobia if they fail to unconditionally "affirm" their child's belief they're born in the wrong body. Result - frightened and silenced.
The punishing, disciplining and sometimes sacking of people who challenged this in the workplace - including in schools. Result - frightened and silened
The BBC & other media relentlessly pushing a "transitioning is a great choice" directly at children since the "I am Leo" programme and failing to air any voices on mainstream tv that challenged the "it's natural to change sex and puberty blockers are reversible" . Result - knowledge about risks to children - silenced.

It's been a long and wearying battle that should not have happened.
I'm just so thankful to all the courageous women and men who have spoken out - often at great cost to themselves and their careers.