DD angry at mature student for inappropriate email

[KeepCalmPlease]

NC just in case.
Daughter is angry this eve as a mature student on her course has mistakenly replied all to the class, instead of just her lecturer. In the email, apparently they brag about finishing their assigned work early, and then flirt about a shared hobby with lecturer. Daughter wants to bring this up formally with the institution along with other friends of hers. I haven't seen the email so I'm not sure what "flirting" is but I suspect the mature student, being older, just shares a hobby with lecturer (and likes being teachers pet).
My advice to her is just ignore the mistake, keep your head down and make sure your own work is done. AIBU?

I'm not sure why DD is so exasperated by this. I'm sure many emails fly about all day in academia.

Yep. I think that's across all UK public universities. You have to declare a sexual relationship with a student you teach, and then you're not allowed to teach, supervise or grade that student.

I'm not sure if that's true of the private ones, like Buckingham and the British Institute of Technology, but I'd think so.

@Justpontificating but there are a huge number of 21 year olds graduating university who will never pay their student loans back.

Whereas I know of mature students who have started paying back immediately after graduating as they've secured jobs or promotions which pay more than the current repayment threshold.

Another academic, you can often tell whose essay you're marking even when it's anonymous. Especially if you've recently given them a tutorial.

I was a mature student. I had a lecture I liked and who spent a lot of extra time with me due to me struggling in that topic (As I entered as a mature student I didn't have the A level everyone else had). We also had similar views around the topic and world views so got along.

I would laugh if anyone thought we where flirting though. We where both married women with children and there was 20 years between us... no one ever suggested it but in double standards I bet had it been a male lecturer someone would have jumped to conclusions.

Its silly really.

As for favoritism, some people struggle more in some areas than others. The actual exam results are correct or not there was no favoritism going on and the lecturer doesn't mark it anyway. Even if somehow I had had a crush on her if anything the very nice lecturer probably thought I was a bit dim not 'sexy' for needing so much extra help lol.

But even when this is true objectivity is not difficult: mark the work, not the person. And ultimately this is just an essay, not a major exam

There’s a big difference between a 21yr old that has an outside chance of working at some point before they retire and therefore a chance they might pay some of Their Student Loan and
A soon to be retiree who has no intention to work after their degree.

ITS A HUGE DIFFERENCE

Agree 💯

Christ how mortifying for the sender of the email 😳

TBF (unfortunately) there are massive issues with odd harassing behaviour at universities....

Some of it sexual of course, especially on courses where there needs to be contact/fieldwork/physical time etc.

Lots of male academics with "reputations" who aren't sacked (but colleagues watch them and try to stop young females being 1-1 with them).

Pretty much endemic and lots of payments being made to cover up the issue (with NDAs so the scale of the problem is just coming out).

Good reason to detach from any student drama or situations, and quietly focus on your own journey, and the overall end grade and career prospects.

No evidence of this based on this email.

However if lecturers/fellow students are creating a weird vibe which is a bit too informal/crossing boundaries and it's a bit of a cesshole I'd definitely pull back and detach.

Do the minimum to get the grade and move away or on. An undergraduate module shouldn't be that intense.

That’s really over the top. She needs to learn not to get annoyed so easily. She will be laughed at, it’s not worth raising formally, it was an accident.

As others have said marking is blind and usually with strict mark schemes and some double marking.
Even IF the student in question was marked favourably it wouldn’t impact your DD’s marks.

Or they just write their name on the work.

Some courses are almost entirely essay based, with a dissertation taking up a major chunk of the grade. I think I'd find it difficult to believe I'd mark objectively (a debatable concept anyway) if it was the work of my partner.

I do not agree with people who are 40plus getting full student loans for fees and maintenance.

That's a different thing entirely.

But in that case perhaps you should be petitioning the government, rather than glaring angry at your neighbours

IME most people who get a student loan don't end up paying it all back. Many (even the young ones) don't pay any of it back.

Even with second marking, a lecturer is likely to more robustly defend the work of a student they're in a relationship with. It's an imbalance of power when someone in the relationship can impact the other's grade, references etc.

It's difficult for lecturers to give extra marks to specific students on many courses these days, anyway. I'm a mature student, and our assessed work is all submitted via Turnitin and marked anonymously.

Everybody wants to 'formally complain' about every tiny little thing these days don't they.
I do mean this kindly but I'd tell your DD to get a grip and move on.

@Emotionalsupportviper Why not? We could afford free education for life when I was younger. That was with without loans.

Every penny we spend on education is paid back, with interest, contributing £116 billion to the economy annually.

Why should someone who went straight to work from school have to write-off their opportunity for a university education because your coddled offspring wants that advantage?

Student loans were a ridiculous idea, they're an extra tax on the poor (the richest students stick them in high interest accounts & their parents pay their debts)

Cor: what a drama!

Its difficult to say without seeing the email but on the whole I think being a mature student must be quite lonely. Even if the younger students are inclusive ( and these ones don’t sound it!) there must be an element of finding them immature and a temptation to want to discuss the work / interact with the teaching staff more your age. Additionally a little of the inappropriate/ ick factor is softened by the fact a maturer student is less likely to be as vulnerable to anything untoward. I can’t see too much wrong in it all - at least as I’ve imagined the email. I feel a bit sorry for them actually - all these younger students frantically what’s apping about them.

Is it also possible the reply all was intentional - to stop it being “ one to one” rather than to brag?

What’s it with her ? Why does she feel entitled to know or prevent others from emailing or sharing a hobby ? Wow 😮.

That is not true. Of course they’re paid back.

Many mature students wont qualify.

Well, thank goodness she has dropped the idea. She'd have made herself look a total twat if she had attempted to raise the issue "formally".

If the tone of the email was inappropriate, that was for the lecturer to address. Not your dd's issue.

Is she usually a bit of a busybody that pokes her nose in where it isn't needed, or is there something else going on here that might be cause for concern? I think the vast majority of students in that situation would just snigger, maybe cringe a bit on behalf of the mature student and then forget about it. I wonder why her reaction was so extreme, and whether it could be a sign that she is struggling with other things?

They don't all even pay the fees. I was talking to someone the other day who said their University had £13 million owed in unpaid fees. How that's been allowed to happen I don't know.

For Oxford, that wouldn't matter, they don't need to charge, their donations and endowments more than fund them. For a less well patronised institution that's quite a wedge.

That’s even better then! More reason for your DD not to worry OP