DD angry at mature student for inappropriate email

[KeepCalmPlease]

NC just in case.
Daughter is angry this eve as a mature student on her course has mistakenly replied all to the class, instead of just her lecturer. In the email, apparently they brag about finishing their assigned work early, and then flirt about a shared hobby with lecturer. Daughter wants to bring this up formally with the institution along with other friends of hers. I haven't seen the email so I'm not sure what "flirting" is but I suspect the mature student, being older, just shares a hobby with lecturer (and likes being teachers pet).
My advice to her is just ignore the mistake, keep your head down and make sure your own work is done. AIBU?

I'm not sure why DD is so exasperated by this. I'm sure many emails fly about all day in academia.

I can’t even wrap my head around why she gave it more thought than the time it took to read the email. One of the mature aged students in my postgrad cohort was sleeping with the lecturer. None of our group cared at all, we weren’t wanting to fight her for him!

Another academic who agrees with this.

Possibly the student is trying to curry favour. If so they have badly embarrassed themselves. In any case it should be no business of the other students, and every academic knows how to deal with this privately.

Your DD is young so seeing this as more a teacher/pupil relationship, rather than two adults.
But it is good to teach her not to meddle in things that have nothing to do with her unless there is a safeguarding or health and safety issue involved. We all know that employee who reports other employees who spend ten minutes too long on their break or bunks of early. They are always hated. Encourage her not to be like that. Tell her the lecturer will deal with any issue themselves, but that they will do it privately as it is nothing to do with her. It is an important lesson to learn.

Daughter and mother alike need to get a grip.

There is a boundary when one is teaching the other . In most British universities a lecturer is not allowed to date their UG student until after the teaching relationship has been dissolved

The DD seems to see herself as some kind of overseer in all of this. So she’s satisfied, er ok so now she’s ‘spoken’ that’s the end of the (non) matter.

OP, are you sure the others aren't just egging your DD on so they can make her a laughingstock? Unfortunately it seems like that might be the case.

Bullying does exist at uni and I feel you're helping your DD be the subject of mockery instead of helping her realise what's going on.

I think DD is already 'over' it and all is well. An evening drama and nothing more. She was right, sleeping on it did help her think about the situation. Not sure how I am encouraging bullying by telling her to forget about it!

"She was right, sleeping on it did help her think about the situation."

Noooooooooooo!!! I cannot believe that this is actually real and these conversations are taking place in your household 😂

I'm definitely with you on that one. Who talks like this lol

OP has name changed to KeepCalmPlease, and has said from the first post that she's not sure why her DD is so worked up about it.

The DD may be overreacting but I'm not sure why OP is getting flack.

Three points.

1. You haven't seen the allegedly "flirtatious" email, so it might be not flirtatious at all.
2. A mature student at uni used to complete ALL the written assignments before the lectures had even been given, by using the reading and assignment lists given at the start of the term. Completing an assignment early is fact, and not necessarily boasting.
3. One of my emails at work went out to all staff when it was sent only to staff at a regional office. Turned out to be a sudden glitch in the system that was only discovered through my email. Mature student might be innocent of "Reply to All".

I would like to be a fly on the wall when DD's complaint is received.

Indeed- it might have been "I've got my assignment in and now have more time to spend on the badminton court. Prepare for me beat your arse at the next meeting of the club."

Or similar.

Just read that you have seen the email and think it's flirtatious too. Would 9 out of 10 people agree?

I'll bet she knows what being an adult is when it comes to doing what she likes . . .

Re: the supposed "favouritism", when I was at university all assignments had to be submitted to the office in anonymised form, and were marked by two separate members of staff, to avoid any favouritism. Do they not have something like that at your daughter's university? I'd be surprised if they didn't...

As a 25-year-old, I was a student only a few years ago.

Your daughter really needs to calm down about this. Tell her to see the funny side. We would've laughed this off in undergrad. Also, leave the mature student alone. It's hard enough being over-22 on a university campus for God's sake. The marking is all done anonymously, so it really doesn't matter if "flirting" is going on. This isn't a safeguarding issue.

I'm also kind of alarmed that they're all WhatsApping all evening about this. Surely they have better things to do?

There are plenty of other ways to study when you are older.

The OU suited you. It doesn't suit everyone. It wouldn't have suited me. My son got his degree with hem

Why don't you suggest that the 18 year olds seek other opportunities for learning?

Places aren't (or at least didn't used to be) assigned to fill quotas. If there are 20 places available, the 20 students who best fit the academic profile will be offered them. Occasionally there may be two equally excellent students for the 20th place. It is then not unknown for the uni to stretch their intake for a further student.

No mature student is taking a place from an innocent, starry-eyed teenager. Trust me on this.

Do you think we're going to be in the paper! 😱

Tbh
This attitude towards mature students is horrible and reeks of pure envy.

How rude 😬

My God.

Imagine what it must have been like to teach this young woman at primary and secondary school.

And what sort of parent her Mum was.

This is why teachers are leaving the profession.

Agree @Emotionalsupportviper 18yr olds do not get first choice or any special privileges because of their age. That is discrimination

However

I do not agree with people who are 40plus getting full student loans for fees and maintenance. On the obvious basis of their age this loan cannot possibly ever be paid paid during their employment years as there simply aren’t enough years.
Two 60 plus neighbours of ours are doing degrees and they have fees and maintenance loans. By the time they complete they will be past retirement age and therefore have no intention of paying a single penny back.
This is one of the key reasons interests rates on student loans are astronomical. It’s not right to be allowed to borrow such huge sums of money when there is no intention to repay it.

Marking is usually anonymous at universities at least for coursework, so I am not sure how any of this would work in the mature student’s favour (or disfavour)