Different surname for full-siblings

[Bananabreadandstrawberries]

Should full-siblings have the same surname,

DH and I have 1 baby boy, who we have given a double barrelled surname (with mine first, in the spur of the moment DH said he didn’t mind whose name went first). I have not changed my surname, we are married.

Since then DH has had some regrets about this and wants children to have his name only or his name first.

I am now pregnant again. DH has said “ah second. Child can have my name!” Joking - not - joking.

What would you ladies do? I want to be fair, but think it would be odd for siblings with same parents or have different surnames?

IABU: Husbands name for next child (or DH-my surname).
IANBU: Same surname for full siblings

You may not be aware but if first child was born before marriage, you are supposed to re-register the birth after marriage
I didn't know that. What if you don't? DS 1 was born 28 years ago 3 months before me and DH married. He was registered with DH name. Am I supposed to re register him? It hasn't made any difference to his life that I haven't.

Same surname

Your husband is being an idiot.

Technically you are meant to, hardly anyone does and I don’t think it matters

Some countries such as the Netherlands require you to give all children the same names. Others like Poland have a different name for boys v girls (same stem different ending).
I do find giving g different ones a bit weird and people will think they are not full siblings but ultimately can’t really see a problem with it.

Bit of a different situation, but I had a friend who had a different surname to her kid and was going away just mum and kid and she got stopped and asked loads id questions when boarding the plane even though it was all above board etc

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 "Some countries such as the Netherlands require you to give all children the same names."

I didn't know this-how does it work?

@JustAnotherManicMomday
deed poll, not deedpole

They don’t let you register the birth with a surname that is different (if both parents are the same).
they used to not allow double barrelled surnames either but just introduced it a few months ago. When it wasn’t allowed there was an exception in situations where an older sibling was born abroad and had a double barreled name as then it was compulsory.

This happens regardless of surname. You need permission from both parents unless certain situations (court order in place/ only one with parental responsibility etc) so you can be asked for proof.

You need permission either way as already been stated and it's not based on surnames it's on the GOV website. Some people are lucky and don't get stopped but it's nothing to do with surnames

Why would it be confusing for schools or doctors? They will know who the parents are. Or are they all so myopic that they think all the Smiths at the school are from a 50 child family?

As for holidays, there may be the occasional bit of confusion but surely this happens already when one parent has a different surname from their children. The more we normalise this, the less confusing it will be.

I have this exact situation with my two.

DD1 is called Mary James Collins.

11 months later, DS1 arrived. His dad decided that he wanted his surname to be at the end this time.

DS1 is called Henry Collins-James.

It’s ridiculous and I never remember who’s surnames is whose when I’m asked to confirm either child’s full name. The only reason I allowed it is because DS1 was in NICU and I didn’t have the headspace to fight it at the time!

They’ll never be together in things like what though? I can’t think of anything

Me and ex dh shared "his" name once we got married and our dc (x3) obviously all then took the same name.

This may seem outdated but it wasn't an issue for me as it was always "our" name and what resonated with me from a pp is that our dc definitely identify strongly as "smiths".

I kept smith as my family name post divorce as it is now as much "my" name as anyone's ! And is definitely my professional name having been married for so long.

And tbh everything is just easier with all the same name - I do always correct anyone who refers to ex dh as my husband though as that feels really odd.

Can't you and your dh just take the same double barrel as your dc1 and then everyone can share the name. Certainly don't do a different name for Dc2, what then about #3 #4 and so on