Sex for rent

[Hartley99]

I was just watching a documentary on the sex for rent scandal. Basically, landlords offer a room in exchange for sex. In most cases, the landlords are older men and the renters are young women. Apparently, it is common in places with large student populations - in other words, where there are lots of very young women who are struggling with debts/ loans.

The whole thing really sickened me. A journalist (herself a young woman) secretly filmed a meeting with one of these landlords. She posed as a young student who had seen his ad and wanted to know more. It made my skin crawl. He was late 40s, and a repulsive, creepy little nerd who could hardly contain his excitement. But what sickened me the most was that not only did he not think he was doing anything wrong, he thought he was being generous! He seemed to think he was doing her a favour! That seemed to be the attitude of all these men.

The other thing that got me was the comments below the video. I had naively expected people to write how vile it all was, how these men were taking advantage of the housing shortage, how they were targeting very young women, and so on. In fact, I read comment after comment (all by men) angrily defending the landlords! The general view seemed to be that it was a big fuss over nothing, that it was up to the women, and that if it was consensual it was OK and we should mind our own business. So many people were defending the landlords that I honestly began to doubt my own judgement. Is it wrong? Am I being over-sensitive and naive?

I love how furious and passionate you are @Hartley99 More people should think like you, and be as angry too! I think exactly the same as you, and I am angry! VERY fucking angry. The world seems to be full of seedy vile misogynistic men. I mean there a few 'good uns,' but even THEY have misogyny lurking underneath.

I know a bloke who lives near me who is really chirpy and friendly, and always says hello. I have known him (casually as a neighbour,) for about a year. I spotted him on Twitter last month, and looked at his page. There were plenty of messages about his favourite TV show on there, LOL-ing at comedies, and suchlike. All seemed OK. Then out of curiosity, I had a look at his 'likes.' Where he had not commented or said anything, or re-tweeted, and had just stayed silent and 'liked.'

For as far as I could see, he had 'liked' 100s and 100s of posts that featured photos of 16-20 year old South East Asian girls, dressed in heels and stockings, basques, bras, see-thru negligees with the nipples showing, and quite a number of pictures of them naked. Clearly thought because he was only 'liking' them that no-one would notice.

It made my skin crawl, and I looked at him in a different light. When I see him coming up the road now, (and I am in the front garden,) I slip in the back garden, so I don't have to talk to him.

But yeah, you're right @Hartley99 these repugnant and vile 'landlords' don't see a THING wrong with what they're doing, (as I said in a post last night after watching the show!) And they DO think they're doing the girls a favour, letting them have a room for 'free' if they have sex with them!!! And the nerve of that one turd on the show, telling the young reporter (who was posing as a woman who wanted a room,) 'if you're not going to agree to have sex with me, then you're wasting your time, and mine!' (And he wanted her to go with him to look at the room right then!) And the one who wanted her to come to his bedroom and sleep with him on her first day, and keep her pyjamas on. Just lie in bed with him, and 'see how it goes...' VOMIT!

And the buy-a-bride cunts are the worst. As you say, repulsive-looking, sweaty, smelly, dull men who can't get a woman over here, who shell out 1000s of £££ to bring a vulnerable, poor young woman (sometimes a GIRL) over here to be his wife. It's sickening and vile, And as you say, the places advertising 'hot young Ukrainian brides' was abhorrent!

The older I get, the more revolting I realise many men are. Misogynistic, lazy, sleazy, think women are only good for cooking, sucking, and fucking, and boak at the idea of women being high achievers, being successful, and knowing more than them about anything! As I said, it's so depressing and sad that even the 'good ones' are not as 'good' as we think!

Fuck me sideways, it's 2024, and many women think they are equal and a lot more heard now, and have all these rights, and there's never been a better time to be a woman. We have not moved a fucking inch! The misogyny and hatred for women, and women being thought of as sex toys and servants to men is as rife as it was 100 years ago and beyond.

Yes yes yes I KNOW 'not all men are like that la la la...' But many ARE, and it's not good enough! Sadly I don't see it ever changing. And I just can't figure out why! WHY is it never changing? What is going wrong? They are not born this way! At what point are they turning into arseholes? #baffled

Jesus, is this a friend? Does he openly admit it?

What law is he breaking?

@Notimeforaname I see what you're asking, but i wouldn't consider university a necessity. You can work and earn etc etc instead of going to university. A roof over your head is necessity not luxury. So if the alternative is homelessness then it's not a choice? It's something you need to do because you can't afford rental prices due to the massive increase. That's why its exploitative.

It's illegal to pay for sex if someone is forced or threatened into it.

It could be argued if someone agreed to have sex with a disgusting landlord because they were afraid of being made homeless then they aren't in a position to freely consent ergo they are indirectly forced into it.

I'd love to see a prosecution on those grounds.

It is disgusting and exploitative, but women are doing it because it is less awful than their alternative.I think if my choice was sex with a creep or sleeping in a box in sub-zero temperatures with the risk of being attacked/robbed/raped whilst I slept, I would choose the former.

Interesting, however abuse of a position of vulnerability is usually not used with regard to economic circumstances, (instead of things like learning difficulties, disabilities, addictions), because doing so would open up a can of political worms regarding what counts as consent in a capitalist system. If poverty and need can be factors in exploitation, a lot of ‘work’ would be exploitation.

@Ecstaticmotion "What law is he breaking?"

If you see my post from earlier (quoted above), it explains the situation

@cariadlet "I'd love to see a prosecution on those grounds."

The first prosecution was in 2022.

If someone I knew did this (the man) I wouldn't know them anymore and neither would most.
They probably wouldn't care as long as they get to get their dick wet. I just keep thinking of all the women who have been under a man and not wanted to be there and are disgusted by it. While he's grunting away sweaty and oblivious. Ugh stop the world!
I know some good men but men are the cause of so much horrifying shit

I do agree it is absolutely disgusting! Male privilege is astounding :( But in my opinion this government is a problem! Allowing rents to go so high people cannot afford it, causing cost of living crisis, pushing human beings to the brink of extreme poverty. Higher education shouldn't be a privilege of selected few (middle class and white). Everyone should have the right to do it and be able to support themselves by doing "normal while studying" jobs like hospitality for example.

Nobody is paying though. *This was in response to the comments

"What do you call paying for sex?"

I really don't understand why my replies never "QUOTE"

UGH

Andrew Tate has followers, so the comments on the video don't surprise me. 😕

Higher education shouldn't be a privilege of selected few (middle class and white). Everyone should have the right to do it and be able to support themselves by doing "normal while studying" jobs like hospitality for example.

The real issue is the lack of affordable housing, and it's not only young students affected by this.

I'm going to be very honest and admit at one point I considered a sex for rent offer. I wasn't a student. I was in my 30s and wasn't working after a long illness. My relationship with my ex had ended and I had nowhere to go. Landlords wouldn't even consider my application the minute they found out I was on benefits.

I was very nearly homeless at the time and the homeless accomodation from the council was horrific. Regular police attendances for fights, drug problems, sexual assaults, and more. I was lucky to avoid it as in the end a friend of a friend offered me her spare room.

If I hadn't found anywhere, I think I've have chosen what was in my mind the lesser of evils. I enjoy sex and although I didn't want to be obliged to do it with someone I possibly wasn't attracted to, I saw it as better than the multiple risks being homeless. Having sex with just one man I sort of knew (as my landlord), rather than possibly being raped or violently attacked by multiple unknown men and women.

It won't help vulnerable women to simply say 'ban sex for rent' without ensuring there's better alternatives.

It happened to a friend in London. She answered an ad for a live in part time housekeeper/dog sitter. At the time she was a student and the landlord said he was away at his holiday home a lot and needed someone to take care of the dogs and house sit. And light housekeeping while he was in London. He offered a token weekly payment and room. It became obvious within weeks that there was no job this was all about the gross pervert having sex. She was lucky to be able to leave immediately but it was done very duplicitously.

Sickening. Men like that are rapists and they don't deserve to be alive.

Disgusting!

@rhinosandhippos I am humbled by your honesty! And absolutely agree with you. System is f*ed

I would think so , would it not be living off immoral earnings the same as a pimp who takes money from running a prostitute .

I work in housing and have seen a few of these cases over the years. Strangely enough when the landlords wife's notice there is no money coming in, the allegation of rent arrears are made and notices issued .
It is sickening

Disgusting, repulsive but sadly not surprising. Shock horror is it men who do this shit.
This world is in the pits.

Men have a completely different view of sex than women do, I am not saying all men are like this because they are not, but to most men sex is always a 'win', how or why it comes about is often inconsequential.

We ought to assume that whenever and wherever a woman is vulnerable there will be men waiting to take advantage. I didn't know this, but organisations can monitor search trends online. After the invasion of Ukraine, men began typing in things like "Ukrainian women rape porn," and "Ukrainian war brides," etc. There was a huge surge in those kinds of searches. And these were probably ordinary men with wives and kids. Then there were the men who joined various charities and offered a spare room – but only to young Ukrainian women.

Any form of sexual exploitation sickens me. As a society, we've been too lenient for too long. I have known at least six women in my life who were sexually assaulted as children – none went to the police. One was routinely raped and abused by her mother's boyfriends. Another was abused by her gran's partner. Once, he stuck his tongue down her throat in a park. She was about eight and he was an old man. A woman passing by tutted and said "you shouldn't be doing that," like he'd just thrown a crisp packet on the ground!

the austerity years, sanctions and housing crisis were bound to lead to this; it’s a tale as old as time and the social security net was supposed to protect us degenerating back to the days of ‘les miserables’.

Agree that this is only going to get worse as the rise in housing costs continue to outstrip wages. The PP's story about considering sex for rent in the past is disturbing but totally understandable given the circumstances. We can only bloody hope we get a new government who isn't in the pockets of landlords.

@rhinosandhippos i can understand your point, it is understandable because the alternative of being homeless is even more dangerous and scary. No one should be left in a position where they have to make a choice like that. I wouldn’t judge a woman who decided to do this however I feel that men who offer this as an option are disgusting.

Are you surprised OP.

Im disgusted but nothing surprises me any more.