No phone for secondary school

[StillCreatingAName]

AIBU? I feel like I might be missing something obvious on this one, but honestly why do children need to take a smartphone to school? It’s baffling me as to why there appears to be parents on auto pilot buying their children smartphones (£££) now in year 6, ready for year 7 as though it’s part of a uniform policy (and then sharing their purchase on the class WhatsApp, give me strength).

Is this all just a fallout from lockdown times, people were sort of forced into screen life, so now there’s more children at secondary school with them, who may not have ordinarily had a phone until older?
I’m expecting dc to walk home with friends talking and socialising without the inclusion of a screen or mindlessly scrolling social media instead of listening to friends. I can see where a basic phone might be needed to contact home, but that doesn’t mean the phone should be out of school bag anytime during school hours should it, but maybe I’m just being naive, time will tell 🤷‍♀️?

AIBU to say children don’t need to get a £££ phone for starting secondary school? (It goes without saying they don’t need it at all for primary school, IMHO)?

I'm old and I had a mobile when I went to high school. My mum was miles away and I lived rurally so transport was sketchy. It's not new. It's just in case.

There is nothing wrong with having a phone but we must teach kids the risks associated to keep them happy and healthy. We seem to forget this and then blame the phone.

They often upload it straight to apps so the option to just write it down doesn't exist

I’m with the idea of a very basic phone for messages between friends or for genuine safety concerns with getting home or whatever. I will probably end up getting dc a basic phone at some point in Y7 for that very reason- but only for use out of school hours. There seems to be no compelling argument as to why it needs to be a smartphone in any year, let alone year 7 🤷‍♀️ Why should teachers be expected to manage the behaviour of dc wearing ear buds and watching YouTube during lessons- that’s appalling- surely they can only do that because they have a smartphone?

I would have agreed with you until my friend’s daughter started secondary last September. All her homework goes on an app, uploaded at the end of the day. The teacher tells them it’ll be going on, but doesn’t actually tell the class what the work is. If students don’t have the app they can go to the relevant teacher at the end of the day. My friend caved and bought her daughter a phone after her daughter had to spend an extra 50 minutes at the end of the school day, walking between classrooms/being briefed on homework by 4 different teachers.

My sons have an hour wait and nearly an hour bus ride home every day. I'm much happier that they have a phone capable of them playing music or games, checking the bus app, and occasionally even doing some homework on them to save having to do it at home.

That's completely over egging the pudding there though isn't it? It's not a question of a basic phone or letting them all run amok with iPhones doing whatever they want. It's in between, like most things.

My friend caved and bought her daughter a phone after her daughter had to spend an extra 50 minutes at the end of the school day, walking between classrooms/being briefed on homework by 4 different teachers.

Seriously? All because she didn’t have a phone to add the homework onto? I’d be invoicing the school for the cost of that phone🤣

Because for many families it's more cost effective (and indeed easier to manage/keep track of) to just buy a smart phone or give them one they already have than buy a tablet/laptop/computer(or several if lots of kids) and a basic phone and a printer (to paper print all the other stuff) and whatever else might be needed, especially if it will last a few years.

a pp who is a teacher flagged the ear buds issue. Don’t schools have to be clearer, it can’t be somewhere in the middle, they either ban entirely or have a rule book for phone use? The rules won’t be tweaked according to the type of phone? Which is back to my point about why does it need to be a smartphone?

Having 2 girls at secondary now, mobiles are part of their life…. School doesn’t allow mobiles out in school hours without teacher permission. But timetables, homework apps are all used by the school . WhatsApp is the main contact with friends, video calls, group chats. The kids without phones get left out of group meet ups, miss out on chats… By the end of yr 7- I would estimate about 99% of students have a mobile … It’s their generation, love or lothe it….🤔

• The genie is out of the bottle whether we like it or not.

Not true. There was a time when 80% of people smoked. If there is the will we can change things. The tide is turning on this.

• They’ll be left out if they don’t have one.

Absolutely! But if all the parents who don’t want their kids to have a smartphone don’t give them one this problem is solved instantly. It only has to be a few parents and suddenly your kid isn’t left out anymore.

• I want to track them.

Just don’t. Or if you must put an AirTag on their bag.

• They need to be able to call/text people.

Give them a brick phone.

• They need it for school.

They don’t. Most schools are banning them. Get them to use a computer for homework. You can’t type on a smartphone.

• This is the modern world so they might as well learn how to use them.

Smartphones are an amazing tool, but they’re incredibly addictive, by design. Be honest, how much time do you waste on your phone? The teenager brain is still developing - think about what they learn from phones about effort and reward. Little hits of dopamine all day. They have years to learn how to use this stuff. Let them be free for a little longer.

Oh and DD knows if she does use her phone in school and it gets confiscated, it will stay there because neither OH or I will leave work early to go pick it up in school hours. If she's THAT daft (possible, but unlikely ) tough titties. It'll get picked up when and if it's convenient for us.

My DD is in year 6 and she has my old smartphone. It was cheaper than buying even a brick phone because it was free.

She has a smartphone for a few reasons:

• She walks home and I can use a tracking app to check where she is. Her messages are also shared on my phone so I can ensure No one dodgy is messaging her. Can’t get that on a Nokia.
• She has started to make arrangements with her friends without my help. For example they arrange to walk to school, go to the park, go swimming, meet at the shops etc. this means their friends who don’t have phones or smartphones aren’t included because they aren’t contactable
• She uses apps, browsers etc to do her homework. She has an iPad too for this but often she will use both in conjunction. Can’t do that on a Nokia
• Shes 10 going on 11 and likes to take pictures of her and her friends and I fully encourage this as so much may change come September and I want her to have lovely memories with many people to look back on.

I find it most odd that someone would even give a second thought to what another family gives their children. It’s not impacting you, why give it headspace? It’s a bit miserly TBH.

She did actually try to speak to the school about giving the homework in class, but they were having none of it!

What actually swayed my friend was that she and her husband agreed neither of them would spend an extra voluntary 4 hours a week at work, if it could be avoided by downloading an app.

You're losing me a bit here now. Apologies if I've gotten lost along the way. Clearly, nobody would advocate for phones or earphones in a teaching/classroom environment. That would be entirely counterproductive.

I also think parents who smugly announce their DC won’t be getting a Smart Phone until they’re well into secondary should consider thar their child will miss out on arrangements and days out with friends. Kids just want an easy life if they’re arranging to go into town etc they do it via chat groups, and are not inclined to message their friends’ mums. if your kid isn’t contactable unless it’s through you, they will miss out. I mean if you’re ok with that more power to you, but your child may not be.

I find it most odd that someone would even give a second thought to what another family gives their children. It’s not impacting you, why give it headspace? It’s a bit miserly TBH.

I posted upthread that it’s none of mybusiness what families do, my question is around why it’s being talked about as though I have to get my dc a smartphone for secondary.

OP, this is exactly why you will probably have to be much more flexible in your thinking regarding your child having a smartphone.

You say repeatedly that there is no compelling argument for it, but what will you do if you come up against this, or your child needs a phone in order to get on the school bus, assuming that's how they will travel to school? These things are increasingly done by use of an app. Increasingly so are school timetables, which can vary week to week. Do you really expect your child to whip out a laptop in the corridor each time something needs to be checked? Or should they be the only one who won't know about a change of room because their classmates have phones and they don't?

Sorry, but I am not sure that your "no convincing argument for" really stacks up.

Technology isn't going to go away. The days when homework was written down in a rough book or paper planner have almost totally gone now. You are living in the past if you expect them to"just write it down during the lesson" because it generally isn't done that way anymore and is provided via the apps. You could well come a cropper on that one very quickly if you refuse to provide your child with a suitable phone.

It doesn't have to be enormously expensive, you can check it and you can put parental controls on it.

Even pre lockdown, I'd expect year 7 pupils to have a phone. I'm in my early 30s and when I was finishing my A-levels, all the year 7 pupils I tutored/helped with extra curriculars in school had phones.

Only if you behave like a prick and misuse it.

The whole smartphone-free movement is about collective action. It only works if other like-minded people are doing it. If there are other kids using text or old-fashioned telephone calls this problem disappears.

Also given that school children use their phones to chat to each other outside of school and to arrange social activities, any year 7 without a phone is going to be left out socially.

My son is in year 7 and has had a smartphone since he started there. It's a requirement of his grammar school. That or a tablet or laptop to do research on in classes.

I got the phone purely so that I knew where he was on his way to and from school. I use the google family link app.

The phone is locked down. He is unable to access any apps other than the ones I grant him to use. No social media of any kind.

It's a contract phone so he can call or text but the only numbers he has are his parents and grandparents and he knows how to call the emergency services.

The phone is placed on charge the moment he gets home and he only picks it up again when he leaves for school.

It's half term here so he hasn't touched it since he broke up. He has no desire to either.

I'm keeping it that way for as long as possible. Wish me luck!

Not everyone has the space or money for a computer. A smartphone can be as cheap as £60 or free if it's a hand me down. How much do laptops/computers go for with all the stuff they need? How do you share them between 3 kids?

DD also gets project homework sometimes like making a script between the 3 of them. They live in different towns and one of them is super busy so hard to meet up.Sure , they could use skype/teams but that's dependent on the other kids having a pc as well, having those apps,being able to use it when everyone else is free etc. Or they could do their parts and email each other with adjustments and ideas but that takes ages and it disrupts flow.

interesting- this is back to one of my earlier Qs around should they have one for starting secondary?