No phone for secondary school

[StillCreatingAName]

AIBU? I feel like I might be missing something obvious on this one, but honestly why do children need to take a smartphone to school? It’s baffling me as to why there appears to be parents on auto pilot buying their children smartphones (£££) now in year 6, ready for year 7 as though it’s part of a uniform policy (and then sharing their purchase on the class WhatsApp, give me strength).

Is this all just a fallout from lockdown times, people were sort of forced into screen life, so now there’s more children at secondary school with them, who may not have ordinarily had a phone until older?
I’m expecting dc to walk home with friends talking and socialising without the inclusion of a screen or mindlessly scrolling social media instead of listening to friends. I can see where a basic phone might be needed to contact home, but that doesn’t mean the phone should be out of school bag anytime during school hours should it, but maybe I’m just being naive, time will tell 🤷‍♀️?

AIBU to say children don’t need to get a £££ phone for starting secondary school? (It goes without saying they don’t need it at all for primary school, IMHO)?

YANBU

its not necessary and in fact I believe now the facts are known (around the damage of social media and persuasive design products like iPhones) that we are actually culpable giving young children (under age 16) access to any of this stuff. I certainly won’t be getting on that bandwagon and I’ll be looking for a school and cohort of similar parents to keep my child in like minded company. I believe the tide is turning and people are realising the negative impact blindly following along with this “norm” is having.

if nothing else look at the actions of the tech geeks - Gates / Zuckerberg / the guy who started Snapchat etc. NONE of them give their kids access to smart phones and certainly not social media. (They’re happy to make billions ££££ from our kids though)

Let’s not be sheep and take the parental power back. 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 Collective action is real.

Tbf, there's a lot they don't provide isn't there. Nothing is free 😔

I do find it inappropriate for parents to be sharing their purchase on our WhatsApp groups, but that’s a different matter- I’m wondering why are these parents buying them in the first place as though they are mandatory in year 7?

Yabu. My dc had smartphones at secondary with no issues apart from one minor WhatsApp issue. It is considered the norm. You as parent show them how to use it appropriately, make sure you know they understand that you'll be monitoring their use.

My DD is 6 in Year 2 and one of her friends has her own phone. We were all at a party the other day and the girl approached her mum and asked if she could check her phone. I thought she meant her mum's phone. Mum produced two phones - her own and the little girl's. Fook knows who she calls or texts as none of the others has a phone !!

They will often provide laptops for the work, not phones though.

I think pp is talking about the actual running costs though?

I don't think lockdown has anything to do with phones, my children were at secondary before that and they both had smartphones in Year 7 (the eldest in 2011). They don't need them but everyone else mostly has them around then. No one needs a phone really, we just think we do. When I wanted to talk to my mum and she was at work I would have to ring her workplace and ask for her, if it was an emergency.
Unfortunately a lot of socialising is done around the phones. That isn't a good thing, it's a bad thing. But it is how it is.

YANBU. A lot of people think that the genie is out the bottle now and we just need to accept it but I do sense Ima bit of a sea change coming with movements such as the smartphone free childhood groups (someone posted a video piece linked to them above) really gaining momentum. I hope that we’ll at least see a bit more understanding of the issues, less naivety and more measures to mitigate them in the coming years.

I have googled before (to no avail), but does anyone have an age graph type thing that shows year groups relative to ages?

Ds can log onto the school wifi. They sometimes are told to take photos e.g. of food tech for writing up as homework. Sometimes in lessons with a cover teacher they are given permission to listen to music while they complete the work. At the end of term sometimes they play kahoots etc. Homework is set and completed on Teams. They have a class whats app group dedicated to reminding each other about homework/ asking homework questions (set up by the students not the school). Affluent school in affluent neighborhood. I could make a stand but that would isolate him from his peers. He already doesn't have the latest i-phone, fortunately he isn't too bothered.

YANBU to think they don't have to cost £££. YANBU to think it's bonkers to share these purchases on WhatsApp. Wtf?!?

YABU to think that they are unnecessary or that at least make life easier. DD has her bus pass on her phone, also the 245262 homework apps and whatever else. Sometimes they are told to look stuff up on their phones during the lesson or use them to join with an online quiz. She can pay on the bus/train with it. Due to her taking the school bus we keep in contact about her location, if anything is going on with after school club or any emergencies like bus breaking down.

I probably sound like an anxious freak but I also like the idea that she has backup/plans A,B,C and that if she forgets one thing , or it gets stolen (wallet) or lost/damaged(laminated bus pass)she has a backup.

We didn't spend £££ though and don't plan to anytime soon. She gets my old phone when I upgrade and her sim only contract is about £8 a month.

Most of the school homework is via apps on their phones. They are not allowed their phones out in class (unless teacher tells them to take a photo of the work they are doing).

They all walk home in a group together, mostly catching up on all the gossip, not looking at their phones.

The phone is totally necessary for arranging social life, endless school whatsapp groups, group calls, snapchat, insta stories, etc.

Im not saying it needs to necessarily be the very latest phone, but equally most teenagers are driven by a real need to fit in and giving your dc an old school nokia brick will potentially be fuel for bullies

OP at what point do you plan to introduce a phone. Would you rather her get one at 11 where you can teach her safe usage or at 14/15 when she's desperate to be like her friends and catch up on what she has missed? In my experience, dd got a phone in y6 for various reasons which was earlier than most and i taught her all the dangers when she was more likely to listen. By the time she was in year 9 , her peers were using it inappropriately (messaging people online) whilst she didn't as the novelty had worn off

DS had to have one for the Show my homework/satchel apps and also his bus ticket had to be bought via an app otherwise it's more expensive. I wish my kids had never had smart phones but sadly life is becoming more and more designed around them.

DD was at a school that wouldn't allow them within the school gates. The kids who wanted their phones for the journey to or from school paid £1 per day to a local shop to lock them away in a safe for the day.

DS school would provide a tablet for necessary school work.
No data needed, can connect to school wifi.

If your DC and friends don't have phones they'll be fine as they will find another way to arrange socialising. Just don't be that parent who contacts a friend of your DC if they are out somewhere and you need to be in touch.

My daughter had a cheap smart phone when she started secondary school. I wanted her to have one because she had a journey of an hour each way by train and bus so I wanted her to be able to contact me if her train was cancelled, if she kissed the bus etc. the school had a very strict policy on phones and if anyone was caught with their phone out of their bags for any reason during the school day, including breaks, it was automatically confiscated for the remainder of the half term and was only returned to a parent which was extremely inconvenient for parents such as us who lived ten miles away. students who were caught using their phones didn't do it a second time!

Can Mumsnet not throw their weight behind a campaign for smartphone free schooling?

You can decide not you let your child have a smart phone but ultimately they will have one and they need to be able to deal with it responsibly.
DS got his the christmas before he started high school - it meant he could start to go further afield with his friends and I would know where he is.
Now at 13 he needs his phone for school (homework), sports teams (details of matches), whats app (to arrange to see his pals, to send jokes and laugh about their football teams, and to be part of extended family groups who live a long distance away) and duolingo (which he does with his dad and grandpa).
This gives him independence and helps plan his time- he needs to look at the family calendar to see what’s happening.
he doesn’t have email or social media. Those will come in time over the next few years is a slow and responsible manner.
We talk a lot about internet safety and online bullying. There are lots of things that aren’t good about the internet, but there are some
amaxing things and they can develop really
positive characteristics

All of dc's homework and their timetable is on an app. Eldest is Y11 and this has been the case since he started in Y7 so this preceded covid and lockdown.

Yes, a smartphone is essential for many schools.

It’s not lockdown related. My DS is 18 and his first phone was over the summer hols before secondary. Quite a lot of schools like them switched off during the day. In sixth form, it’s completely different from that

I agree with your sentiment, but I don't think it's quite as black and white as you make out, OP.

I am a school Safeguarding Lead so smart phones/social media are the absolute bane of my existence. But even I have to accept that, to an extent, the genie is out of the bottle and some parents will have valid reasons for wanting their child to have a phone when they go to secondary school. IME the problems arise when parents do not take responsibility for limiting their child's phone use or checking what's on their child's phone. As a pp has rightly pointed out, having a phone does not mean a child has to have access to social media in Year 6/7. Parents can and should be setting boundaries and expectations around the phone and sticking to these.

I know of plenty of parents who manage to check their childs phone regularly for any distressing or inappropriate content, do not allow their child to have their phone in their bedroom at night so it doesn't interfere with sleep, set time limits for phone use and make it clear that if the child doesn't comply with the above they will lose access to the phone for a specified time. But some parents are adamant that these kinds of safety measures are impossible to enforce or they just don't see the need for them, which is why schools are increasingly having to deal with social media/phone related disruption and safeguarding issues.

Yes, a smartphone is essential for many schools

it sounds like teachers have made a rod for their own backs there then

1. Homework set on the app (can access via a laptop but easier on the phone) and they’re making new friends.
2. Often in different classes due to subjects and streaming so they can arrange to walk home together at the end of the day
3. monitoring and teaching safe phone use is much easier with an 11 year old who still listens to their parents v a 14 year old who thinks they know it all.
4. my dc communicate with each other and with me really well, and speak with their grandparents even though we don’t live near them.

Mobile phones used with boundaries are good. we have no phones upstairs until year 10 (unless specific permission for private call or listening to music - each time must get permission) and all phones are on charge overnight on the docking station. Dd is 16 and still does that by choice at bed time. Finally, if a parent asks you to put your phone down it’s done with no argument.

They don't need them for this. All the school systems I've worked with have an option to login online. A computer at home or tablet if computer is to expensive can be used for this purpose. I refuse to use school work apps on my phone and just login online.

No they aren't needed and many schools are now banning them anyway. So they can take it to school but have to have it off in their bags when at school.