Neither parent wants to live with their child fulltime what happens?

[WhatWillHappenToTheDC]

It’s a relatives child.

The DC is 10. Has lived with the RP, their mother alone since they were 2. Seeing NRP Father for 2 nights EOWend and half the school holidays.

NRP agreed to have DC over Easter Holidays fulltime so RP could have some work done on the house.

RP has now said they do not want DC home and want to trial a switch of residency for awhile or wants to do 50/50 arrangement. NRP also does not want DC fulltime and wants to go back to previous arrangement.

Social Services are involved now due to the arguments and DCs school reporting it, but what will happen if neither parent wants to live with their child full time? Is there some sort of foster care where parents can still see DC?

I can't put myself forward to have the child as I live too far from them. Parents live around 7 miles from each other.

No, only an arsehole would say, 'well you've got one shit parent and I'm going to throw a strop now as it's not faair' honestly fucking shitbags pair of them.

No, I judge because when my husband left, he was living his own life, and wouldn't see son {a well behaved child}

I bloody well WILL judge.

World's tiniest violin for a 'mother' who wants rid of her child because she works and has health issues and wants a rest?

Cry me a river for a dumping mother.

I have zero sympathy - only with the needs of their poor child.

They’re both absolutely awful. And no, the burnt out mother doesn’t get a pass either.

Parent is a role.
It is a role for life, one they both willingly chose, and now seem to be feeling fed up of.
That poor, poor child.

Absolutely.

It's so utterly selfish.

For social services to be involved, - it must be pretty serious.

Children are perceptive, and this poor child will know that neither parent wants them.

This is utterly heartbreaking

She's got a funny way of showing how much she loves him. The father should do his share but I can't fathom a mother letting her child know that he isn't wanted. That poor poor child. My mother was a widow with 3 kids, no one has us weeks or half the holidays but she never threatened us with foster care.

Dad is a dick and a Disney dad who doesn’t want any responsibility. The child will know when they grow up that dad didn’t want to see them more than twice a month. Dad could do 2 days a week and that would help. The mum is doing something drastic and I applaud her for doing so to call him out

SS are involved for more than had been said on here.

I hope SS decide that the emotional well-being of the child is their priority (since it clearly isn’t the parents’ priority) and find a nice, long term foster home which is consistent and it’s clear they are wanted. The foster home is likely to be miles from the parents and their relationship will never recover from it.

Social services will not consider FC they will tell the parents the DC is their responsibility and put pressure on one to have him, probably the mum.

Poor kid 😔 they can come live with me then.

No she doesn't love her child more than anything in the world and neither does the other parent. What a truly awful set of parents.

They’ll know the same thing about their mother.

Would state boarding school be an option if mum at end of tether (you pay boarding part but not school costs)
Boarding school is obviously extreme but I know a couple of children who went as last resort.

How the fuck can you applaud someone who thinks asking ss to place their child in care because they're having a sulky shit fit is being a caring parent?

God I hope both of them have been irreversibly sterilised!

Foster care costs money.

SS will put pressure on both parents until one side cracks.

I have seen a similar situation at the school I work at. Incredibly sad for the kids.

This won't happen. There is a National shortage of foster carers. This child doesn't need one.

World's tiniest violin for a 'mother' who wants rid of her child because she works and has health issues and wants a rest?

I have parented alone for 15 years. It is exhausting. One of my children has a condition that means we are frequently up at night. I have had to hold down a full time job because the ex won't pay maintenance and although is happy to see his children regularly, isn't happy to do the actual paying for them or the nitty gritty of the daily grind. It's bloody hard. Relentless. It just goes on and on and on. Sometimes you need a rest, particularly if you are unwell or yourself. For about half the time I had my mum available to help sometimes but since she died, I've been on my own.

I would never judge another parent for wanting it to stop. Just for a short while. On a regular basis. It's really not unreasonable.

There is no positive spin you can put on either of the parents . Ok the mum might be at the end of her tether and want the dad to do more , quite rightly but nobody in their right mind would let it go as far as social services getting involved . How to make your child feel unwanted and screw them up .

I'm not sure why anyone thinks social services need to pressure either of them. The child is currently living with a parent. If the parents abandon him they will get arrested for child neglect. You can't just drop your kid at a social services office and hand over responsibility. OP do you really think the mum would rather get arrested than take her child back??

my ex was awful, no money, dipping in and out of contact with our child, married to a horrible woman who then decided that our child was not allowed to stay over at their place because I forgot to send birthday gift for one of their kids! Ex too weak to stand up to her and contact dwindled and dwindled, I never once contemplated doing anything that would "make" my ex fulfill his parenting obligations as I knew this would only backfire in a negative way on our child. My way through it was to assure my child how much I loved them, to always put then first, to answer their questions about their dad, It was very very hard, we were short of money and I was frequently exhausted, but I am of the opinion that the child must always come first, they did not ask for any of this.

The criticism of the mother - who has apparently been taking the bulk of the parenting - is quite appalling on a website supposed to support mothers.

The acceptance that fathers are often sh*t as parents, so women should suck it up?

Really? If she has reached her limit and is trying to make the father be as responsible as she has had to be?

Poor child. But he is being let down by his father. If his father has opted out, why attack his mother?

It seems accepted here that women should just accept men being crap fathers

Sorry I could not bring myself to read every single comment but this has to be one of the saddest MN posts I've ever read. I have a DC of a similar age and I can't imagine how broken he would feel if he was in that situation.

So the Dad is useless but this has become about scoring points. What is in the DC's best interest? With parents like this, maybe foster care would be best.

The parents simply do not deserve their DC.