In laws and baby's first steps

[Timeforsomecoffee]

First of all, there is a huge back story anyway.

But my question is, if you were a mil/fil, would you have done this?

Baby close to taking his first steps but hadn't done it yet. Mil and fil had been banging on for ages about how we needed to get him walking, he should be walking by now bla bla bla. Doing the arm dangling thing every time we saw them.

Baby was 13 months and standing independently so well on track with his development.

On a visit they decided to stand him between them, coaxing him between them (while I was gone to the toilet) then when I and back announced proudly that he'd taken his first steps.

No, that’s an arsehole thing to do

That's a shitty thing to do.

In my pettiness I would tell them it wasn't his first step actually.

My mother (now nc) would do things like this when my oldest was a baby, I would leave the room for 30 seconds and he miraculously had his first roll, or laugh or whatever, she was bullshitting, but she took great pride in feeling like she took an experience away from me.

His first step with you is the one you'll remember anyways, whether he teeters between two adults pushing him to do it or not, you're his mum, and the stuff he does with you is the stuff that matters.

They know that and that's why they are trying to insert themselves into these important moments, but they can't take anything away from you, or your relationship with your boy.

Knobheads.

All 3 of mine took their first steps at nursery. I’ll be honest - this is not something I would get worked up about, but it seems from the first few posts I’m in the minority!

What absolute peaches. My MIL tried to claim similar something similar (except DS had walked a few days previously, so she looked daft).

Blimey, my family and friends and me and DH were all encouraging my DC to walk. I mean, it's a bit annoying if they are purposefully trying to outdo you, but I struggle to get worked up about these sorts of things overall.

But if its part of a long history of boundary pushing, I can see how it would wind you up.

My lovely PIL and DH did this with our youngest. I was a bit upset (she was 18 months and it had been coming a long time!), hid it from PIL but told DH.

They're lovely people and they just got excited, I know they didn't mean anything by it. She's 3 now and it doesn't bother me any more beyond an eye roll.

TBH, I think many people would be encouraging a baby at 13 months, so I don't see an issue.

Yea it's just one of those things. I'm sure they where not doing it to spite you

Encouraging a kid that’s nearly able to walk to try and do it sounds like a pretty normal thing to do with them IMO

That is absolutely awful of them - but it won’t take anything away from your parenting if you don’t let it.

If you can’t claim it wasn’t the first steps, because you’d told them that, and it it wasn’t just thoughtlessness because there is a back story of them trying to take ‘ownership’, then the visits would stop if i was in this situation and my DH would be very aware of my feelings on the matter the minute he comes home. I would expect him to call them and ask what they thought they were doing.

If no back story, and it might just be thoughtlessness, I’d let it go. But not if you know they repeatedly try to downgrade your status as mother. This would be the final straw for me.

That is absolutely awful of them - but it won’t take anything away from your parenting if you don’t let it.

If you can’t claim it wasn’t the first steps, because you’d told them that, and it it wasn’t just thoughtlessness because there is a back story of them trying to take ‘ownership’, then the visits would stop if i was in this situation and my DH would be very aware of my feelings on the matter the minute he comes home. I would expect him to call them and ask what they thought they were doing.

If no back story, and it might just be thoughtlessness, I’d let it go. But not if you know they repeatedly try to downgrade your status as mother. This would be the final straw for me.

That is absolutely awful of them - but it won’t take anything away from your parenting if you don’t let it.

If you can’t claim it wasn’t the first steps, because you’d told them that, and it it wasn’t just thoughtlessness because there is a back story of them trying to take ‘ownership’, then the visits would stop if i was in this situation and my DH would be very aware of my feelings on the matter the minute he comes home. I would expect him to call them and ask what they thought they were doing.

If no back story, and it might just be thoughtlessness, I’d let it go. But not if you know they repeatedly try to downgrade your status as mother. This would be the final straw for me.

I am a GP . My first GC took their first steps with us while we had them for childcare . When we took them home I must have "forgotten" to mention it as later that eve I got a little video sent to me of GC walking " for the first time " . . It's not about them being in laws, ( i am a MIL too ), it's about them actively trying to take experiences away from you .

I've just remembered that my DM and Dsis did precisely that with my first. It was a little disappointing at the time that I'd missed it, but I was mostly proud that my baby had done it.

How often do you see them?
Make it less.

It's the fact they did it when you went to the bathroom which shows it was deliberately done to undermine you.

Tell them it wasn't his first steps, he did those last night all on his own

Did they deliberately make him walk while you were in the loo? Or was he t a coincidence while they were playing with him.

Sounds like they were just occupying him whilst you were in the loo and encouraging a child who is nearly able to walk, to walk, is a normal thing to do with them. I don’t actually recall when DS2 actually walked as he was almost walking, cruising round the furniture and maybe 1 independent step or walking pushing stuff, for so long before he actually got any distance independently that I don’t know what properly counted! Unless they have previous form then I doubt they were doing it to spite you.

What was awful? The perfectly normal playing with a nearly walking baby, or using their special PIL super powers to make sure it happened when you were in the loo?

That is so kind of you. And very thoughtful too. I’m pretty sure that DS had his first steps at nursery and they never told us. His first steps with us consisted of suddenly walking a meter. We were so stunned…and then a few months later I remembered that nursery asked me very randomly a few days before he walked if he’s taken any steps yet.

I’ve not told DH I suspect he was already walking before we first saw it, but I’m so grateful for nursery for letting us think we had that experience.

This. Sounds like they’d been encouraging him to walk for a while and it just happened, very unfortunately, whilst you were out of the room.

I think that's rotten of them. I look after my grandsons and dgs1 took his first steps at my house. I never let on and when DD told me he was walking I was delighted for her and dgs1. It's such a pleasure when your baby begins walking. Why would you take that away from a parent?