Why shouldn’t life be made easier for pregnant women/mothers?

[Duckwithnobill]

Read quite a few threads here lately that have really shown vitriol towards advancements in working conditions, pay and other adaptations that make life easier for pregnant women and women with young children, which is bizarre to say the least on a parenting forum.

A couple of examples being resentment at the increased ability to work from home or more flexibility from employers around attending meetings/commuting in late pregnancy. I’ve seen women that take advantage of these enhancements be labelled as workshy or as the reason women aren’t respected in the workplace. Full disclosure I am pregnant and my employer has been great at accommodating my pregnancy presumably because they want me to return after maternity leave!

Then there’s the whole debate around P&C parking spaces, where some posters seem genuinely angry that there might be small conveniences put in place to make life a little bit easier for parents.

AIBU to find this attitude quite baffling? Surely improvements to the way pregnant women/mothers are treated can only be a good thing? Or should we all just suffer and struggle?

This

It should be for parents not mothers.

Honestly @Duckwithnobill have children. Don't have children. Everyone will be ok with whatever you or anyone else decides on the having children choice.

@jengachampion but that literally just doesn't happen. So not really a relevant point

This completely

I agree OP. Because its a 'lifestyle choice' there can be no 'special treatment'...you see it in threads about 'should pregnant women be given seats on public transport' - people saying 'its pregnancy not a disability.

Yes it is 'only' pregnancy, and yes it is a choice. But so are a lot of things- someone who broke their ankle playing rugby has done so due to a lifestyle choice and isn't disabled...but it's basic human decency to give them a seat on a train when I can stand easily.

@Firefly1987

Very true but then you also get onto the argument about there not being enough younger people to fund the ageing population. I believe there may have been another Mumsnet post on this issue.

Interesting viewpoint. May I ask why you think a wheelchair should take priority over a baby in a pram? I obviously don’t mean if it’s possible for the mother to sit holding the baby but there are occasions where that’s extremely difficult and/or dangerous.

What a rotten attitude !

These children are the future breadwinners and tax payers in this country.

Their contribution keeps the country running and the parents should be assisted wherever possible.

Additionally I think workplaces should provide creches for the parents if they have room to do so.

Unfortunately I work for an employer that bends over backwards to support mums and requires the women without kids to pick up all the slack. The employer gets to boast about their family-friendly credentials and meanwhile the women without kids just feel really resentful.

We’re talking always getting Christmas/summer hols off, never doing late or early starts, never doing overtime, regularly working under normal hours as they’ve got kids at home but not getting called out on it, etc etc etc.

I’m in favour of increasing flexibility but I’ve only ever seen the shitty end of the stick, sadly. I genuinely feel like a second class citizen most of the time.

@Moglet4 I believe it's governed by the equality act, however morally of course the wheelchair user should take priority on a bus because they have no other option, usually the mother does, eg different ways of holding the child

Not comparable at all your parents are not your dependents.

Well, that just depends on your parents' health and age, doesn't it? Lucky you to not be in a position to find out that they very much can be...

Like with small children and pregnancy, not all parents are equal and some need to be cared for.

at work I have been called to pick a sick child up from nursery. I’ve also been called to help pick up a fallen parent. I can tell you what was more stressful - not so much the child in a safe place with caregivers…..

however it’s good that progress has been made and things are better for the parents coming along. It is difficult to see it being much easier for the next group of parents coming through, I’d have loved more time with DH at home helping out, I’d have loved my career not to have “stalled”, I’d have loved not to have had to top up my NI due to Mat Leave. Hopefully the next gen won’t have these issues 🙂

What literally just doesn’t happen, sorry?

Why do people without children never understand that it’s often dangerous and/or impossible to park in a ‘normal’ car space because they’re too narrow for you to get a child in or out of their car seat?! I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve had to leave the children with a complete stranger just so I can reverse the car out enough to actually get them in! Planning in new car parks needs a serious rethink- either make all spaces American-sized or triple the number of P&C spaces (they don’t have to be at the door btw, just big and next to a pavement)!

Because wheelchair spaces were fought for and disability takes precedence.

We all need special treatment at different times of our lives and some need priority for different reasons.

People get hung up on what they perceive others to have better than them

I think the trouble with pregnancy is that it is very common (obviously) and so a lot of women have gone through it, but their experiences vary vastly.

I'm signed off work with hyperemesis gravidarum at the moment (hence being on mumsnet all the time!). It's hugely debilitating and I've been quite close to being hospitalised and put on drip.

It affects 1% of pregnant women. So other women who've been pregnant (my boss) or who've had pregnant wives etc. will be thinking... it's just a bit of morning sickness, why's she being so dramatic?

I'm also very prone to fainting at the moment so don't feel safe driving and don't even really want to be out and about with my toddler because I don't think it's safe.

Again, other women will think... what's all the fuss? I was pregnant with a toddler and I just got on with it. You're not special. etc.

What @Escapetothewhere said.

Wow the world is full of idiots.

But if people aren't encouraged to have children, who is going to be there to wipe your backside in old age and fund your pension?

As an employer, the more society tries to “encourage” me to make allowances for pregnant women and mothers of young children the less I want to employ women of child bearing age.

Which allowances do you object to making?

You could get a new job, though?

See my comment above. Pregnancy wasn't an illness... FOR YOU.

Children are not a “lifestyle” ; They are human beings. Reproduction is a basic biological function. Having reproductive choices is a fundamental human right.