DH pressuring me to find a job

[Macadamiamama]

Need some context otherwise I’ll definitely be unreasonable.
DH is a well paid lawyer in London, whatever that means nowadays.
I’m not from the UK, I went to uni and started working in my country but since moving here I only ever did a few jobs here and there and stopped since having babies.
I have been supported by my DH for about 9 years now and he’s probably had enough of that. I need to add: he works long hours, is often very stressed. He doesn’t have much time for the kids, he helps with bath when he’s home otherwise it’s only me. I understand.
Now our youngest is about to go to reception in September and my time is ticking as he wants me to start contributing financially. I don’t feel able to find a good job in the hours I have or skills. I worked from home last year and it was a disaster I had to quit as I had no time to do anything around the house and the kids.
We have no luxuries apart from not checking prices at the supermarket. We never go on holiday. We own a flat and would like to buy a house soon.
The idea of work is nice but I feel stressed as I think I already do so much, I also wouldn’t get much money so it’s not very appealing. I have my ambitions, just don’t feel it’s worth at the moment when we have no debt and live a reasonably comfortable life.
He won’t change anything in his life when I start double shifting (work+kids) apparently I’ll have so much free time I won’t know what to with myself!
He mentions jobs in retail, waitress, receptionist. No disrespect for people doing that but he’ll go out the house in his suit and tie and I’d be going out in a uniform.
I’m not saying he needs to support me forever but I don’t feel confident enough to get a job atm. He won’t pay for further education either as that’d be taking money from the kids. Am I being too superior?

Great idea, if that appeals to you

There's more to life, like working in McDs!! 🤣😂😅😆

Actually, it's really depressing. For some career women there might be. But for a run of mill wage slave job - no. Time with our children is precious and finite and some of us are fortunate enough to have more than others. I think it's important we don't lose sight of this. Nobody on their death bed thinks "oh I wish I'd done a few extra shifts in Primark".

Well no but someone needs to work in Primark.

Work builds self esteem and confidence, it gives you money to provide for your children, money to fund hobbies and most importantly funds your pension for when you are old. It also pays taxes into society which is part of being a good citizen as those taxes are needed to pay for those who cannot work like the sick and the retired. Once children are in school mums should be building something for themselves, it's for their future and their childrens future.

Also she said start there and look at a career path. If you start checking out clothes in Primark and you're still doing exactly that 20 years later you're doing something wrong.

Or maybe if your partner is a higher earner it enhances everyone's quality of life to spend more time at home. What's the point in money for hobbies if you don't have time to enjoy them? I know someone has to work at Primark. But I would never dare condescend retail workers by thinking for a second they find wage slavery more fulfilling that time with their family.

Because one partner having to carry the financial burden for the family when the other is able to work is unfair - however high their income. It is nobody else’s job to keep you in a style you wish to become accustomed - they then become your wage slave.

There's dignity in earning your own money and pride in providing for your children.

Maybe the Primark worker would be offended that you dared to condescend their efforts at being indeoendent and providing for their children as wage slavery.

Nah he can't expect you to still do everything for the kids and the house. If you are both working then you need to share the children and house responsibilities.

I'm listening, OP!

Nothing wrong with wearing a uniform .You could go to University and study nursing, occupational therapy or physiotherapy.All these jobs offer part time hours.I studied and worked with 3 children ,plenty of women do this.