To ask what your biggest problem in life is at the moment?

[Biggybigbiggles]

Just that really... mine is that I feel frumpy and ugly. Having always been tiny, I've gotten to 30 and I suddenly just feel disgusted with what I see any time someone takes a photo of me.

If you could click your fingers and remove a problem you have, what would it be?

Depression. I count my blessings every day, have a home I can afford and friends and family but still feel deeply, deeply miserable, had cancer a couple of years ago and they medical staff were fantastic and thought I was a model patient, they didn't realise it was because I didn't care if i lived or died.

to anyone else who has deep depression, beware of Mirtazapine, side effects were Rage, hatred and when that calmed down everything hurt, could hardly walk.

@Notallhereanymore i am so very sorry for your loss

2 under 2
burnt out. Skint. DH self employed and out constantly working to still scrape by. No breaks.

My biggest problem is lack of time to do the things I want. I had a week off work there and it was great. I barely made a dent in all the stuff I had to do, but the break from having to go the office was so much better than I thought it would be.

Me too x 10000000000 🥴

Hello,

I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you are facing - it does sound quite full on. Have you spoken to your GP about your MH and how you are feeling?

Please remember that even though you may wish you could help your DD more, you ARE helping her by being there and caring.

Going through a divorce sucks, and even more so when your ex is being so horrible, but it will pass. There IS light on the other side.

Regarding work, hopefully the process is a formality and you can explain that you've had your mind elsewhere and forgot to renew your registration.

Please remember to do some things you enjoy, and bear in mind things will get better with time. Take each day as it comes and be kind to yourself.

Your GP might know of local support groups for carers/ relatives with difficulties and they might offer a starting point for you to reconnect with others. Sharing your story is a powerful thing and can really help you unpack things.

Keep talking and good luck!

There are so many problems shared on this thread that could be overcome if people were properly supported- and by that I mean community to wider sociopolitical mechanisms.

A society should judge itself on how it treats its most vulnerable people. I’m imagining a utopia of fair wealth distribution to properly fund health, local government and education. To imagine children not living in poverty and each citizen having a safe, secure and comfortable home. We don’t ask for much but it seems like meeting basic needs is becoming much less tenable as each day passes.
Sending my heartfelt love to each and every person who is going through the tough and unimaginable. If ever there was a reminder to have gratitude and to strive to be a person who lives their lives with compassion and understanding then this thread embodies this.

Life circumstances mean I've hit 40 with no savings and no pension.

My relationship with DH. It’s made me chronically unhappy. Years of resentment mean our relationship is toxic and we should split, but it will make my life so difficult. I wish he would make the move to end it, I’ve tried twice.

My late husband, being passed. It's been 6 years. It doesn't get better. It gets different.

I have a rich, fulfilling life, adult youngsters, family time, my grandchildren, friends, and fellowship.

My earlier life before I met my 2nd husband was very difficult. I've had a difficult life.

Today, life has grown over the years more peaceful etc however I still always will love and miss my husband

My Mum being very ill. Also mental health issues causes by the realisation that I will never have a family, and as an only child, will grow old and die completely alone.

I can so relate. I’m prone to what is known as ‘agitated depression,’ which is a hideous mix of depression and anxiety. I had a mild bout recently. It’s different to worry, or being fed up. It’s more like an illness - a physical illness. It isn’t just in the head. I feel it in my body. It’s in my guts, in my arms, in my legs. Hideous. I’m frightened of depression. Genuinely terrified. I can endure the day to day shittiness of life, but I can’t bear depression. You’re in hell. I’m more afraid of depression than almost anything, even death.

Accepting the reality of my life and working out what to do, finding the strength to either make changes or accept things as they are and be grateful for what I have.

Oh poor you I’m so sorry for your loss. Hope you can find some solace.

I have been thinking about this thread all day.

If you had asked me four years ago, my list would have been grim. It's not perfect now. But I realise that today, right now, I do not have that many problems, at least compared with many on this thread. That stage of life has passed, and whilst I struggle with parts of it, things are ok again.

Thoughts especially to @keffie12 @Completelydonechick

For me personally, money. I earn more than I've ever earned but I just never have enough.
For my family, health and disability. I worry so very much for their future.

I feel for you. My DS is the the same age and wants to go travelling and he's also just past his driving test. My youngest Brother died in a car accident at 18.

I wish my 20 year old didn't have leukaemia. And bipolar 1.

I wish my youngest didn't have a severe depression because of his older brother being ill.

I wish my daughter could overcome the trauma of being raped at 14.

Other than that - all good really 😂

This thread has made me feel ashamed for ever complaining about my life situation! I live in a upmarket area and so compared to most people around me I’m not well off and DH is unemployed, so often I fall into a victim mentality. But This has made me talkie how lucky I am to have a well
paid and interesting job, healthy and happy kids in a good school, a marriage which has got better recently after years on the brink of divorce, and good health and lots of friends. I truly have nothing to complain about.
I hope for all of you that things will take a turn for the better and also that you can find support around you. My one piece of advice for many people struggling is to reach out to people around you - family, friends, neighbors, others in your communities- so often we suffer alone and think no one can help us, but being with others and helping each other out can really help, I know it has helped me a lot through hard times. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and to give new friendships a chance, also with people you wouldn’t normally consider your types. Friends and community can lighten any load.

"If you could click your fingers and remove a problem you have, what would it be?"

I would click my fingers and bring back my much loved and very recently deceased BIL, my heart breaks for my sister and her DD.

@the90s
Sorry to hear this. Just wanted to suggest you double check that it’s in your employment contract / their disciplinary policy that your employer can investigate you without pay? Most suspensions are paid….

I'm so sorry for your loss. My sister just lost her DH and it has been a devastating loss. ❤️

I get your fear, but: I grew up very sheltered in a European country and at 19 I moved to London to go to Uni. Had zero wits about me, really! I had a fantastic time and learned so much. Yes, I got into a few hairy situations but nothing too bad and I came out the wiser and stronger. I’m glad I went. As long as she has a god moral compas and knows she can always always reach out to you for help she will be fine. You can’t wrap your kids in cotton wool forever. (Although lord knows I wish I could too with mine!) but as they say, ships are made for the sea, not to say in the harbor although that’s safer.

Another one with teens problems :(

Money will solve most of my problems but not have enough :(

I would like to not be "invisible" to people as if my feelings or thoughts are not of value. I speak but they do not hear!