I feel like my daughters dance school is inappropriate

[grossedouteurgh]

Got back this evening from my daughter's dance school performance at the local arts center and was horrified.

Prefacing this by saying I have had a few issues in the past with what I feel is money grabbing (introduced a charge of £20 recently to drop kids off in the car park. Their studio is on an industrial estate - why?!! This only serves to put safety at risks/makes money).

Also feel they have such a feeling of superiority and favouritism at the school which I don't think is healthy to foster in teens and pre teens.

Anyway, got home this evening from the Easter dance show and literally feel sick. I've seen more clothes on moulin rouge dancers and the way they had them gyrating over the stage is just gross. I filmed some of it because it genuinely felt like a strip club, and if that was my daughter I'd be horrified (she's still in a class below).

I obviously won't share but we're talking flash dance style, suspenders, gyrating... from 15/16/17 y olds.

It made me feel so awful.

I guess the parents in this situation are brainwashed by the school and it's a step to the next thing?

What can I do? I don't want to let this lie.

Also report dropping off fee I don't see how that is legal

They can definitely consent if they’re Gillick competent.

OP, can you name and shame the school here?

Consent to what?

There are so many other amazing musicals to choose from!!

I've already made my feelings on this clear to the school, it's a safety risk as people are having to drop their kids all over the industrial estate and they're crossing roads unsupervised.

I reported them to the council for illegally blocking the public highway with their cones and they were gone this morning so that's something

Honestly I’d leave ❤️

Nearly forty years ago, when my daughter was three or four years old, I put a stop to 'dancing lessons' because they were teaching the toddlers to gyrate, to thrust their hips, and wanted them in skimpy costumes.

It's grooming. For what, I'm not sure, but it's not healthy.

By the time they're teenagers, their minds are so conditioned they don't know to say no. And those dads, at every performance, filming... admittedly, my experience is long ago, they might not be allowed to do that now.

They are awful. I remember a local teen dance group performing at our primary school summer fair and all the dads were so embarrassed - they didn't know where to look as these young teenage girls gyrated and twerked in front of them. Gross.

WTF are you on about?

I remember Flash Dance and I have a primary aged child.

So they danced a dance from Chicago wearing costumes from Chicago. The recommended age for Chicago is 13. The girls were 15.

My daughter was in a musical theatre Saturday school for about 5 years. Absolutely loved it. They performed Shrek and Wizard of Oz - littlest ones were only 5 so the shows had lots of parts for littlies. Was all really wholesome.

Last summer they decided to do Chicago. DD (then 12) had just moved up to the junior section and was so uncomfortable with the dance moves that she left before any talk of costumes. I thought that a completely inappropriate show for kids aged 5-16. I’ve no idea what the owners of the company were thinking, to be honest.

Well, yes, I do still use things from my childhood as a frame of reference, especially when they had a big impact.

Your posts are odd. You seem desperate to invent something to have a go at the OP about - why?

Troll hunting is banned here btw. (And it's very tiresome.) Report if you think she's a troll.

To the clothing and the dance moves. OP stated they were too young to consent but even under 16 they can consent if Gillick competent and can consent over 16 anyway, obviously.

most are like that now op, I’ve a few friends and relatives with girls in different dance classes both rural and urban and all sound like you describe- a lot into k pop type dance, or drum n bass type music

HebburnPokemon
OP, can you name and shame the school here?
ah how is it ok to put a small business on a site that has such a following, you could get them closed down. I hate people shaming businesses, if you talk to them privately they may be able to address any concerns.

I think that dance schools need to look at this thread and be aware of views of parents because I don't actually think some have thought that deeply. Our local dance group has a lovely teacher who invests a lot for shows at a local theatre.

I think the demonstration of acrobatic ability and the ability to follow choreography is brilliant but maybe a bit of thought has to be put into consumers and specific routines because a lot of dance productions e.g. Chicago were meant for adult dancers for an adult audience.

I suppose to some extent it depends on whether you view dancing as an art form. Personally I like acrobatics more for my daughters. Less hassle with costumes and better exercise...A lot of acrobatics on floor does have a dance element.

But you also filmed it?

I filmed some of it because it genuinely felt like a strip club, and if that was my daughter I'd be horrified (she's still in a class below).

.

I am not remotely involved in dance schools so don’t have an axe to grind in any of this.

I recently watched a school musical and the costume coordinator had made really good choices for the big all-girl dance numbers: loose fitting cotton floral dungaree playsuits over a white teeshirt being one of them. The costumes looked cute, allowed plenty of movement but were not remotely sexualised.

The world has changed a lot in recent years and there is a lot more awareness of the risks of children becoming sexualised too soon. Back in the eighties and nineties it was just seen as part of growing up! Plus there was a very low risk of images being used for inappropriate purposes.

The main problem is that lots of these musicals started off as entertainment for adults. So then the costumes and dance moves follow suit. I have never seen Chicago but reading a summary of the plot online, it seems pretty seedy?

Why anyone would think it appropriate for a child under 16 to wear stockings and suspenders onstage is bizarre. Some women wear them for comfort, yes - hidden under a skirt - but any sane adult knows that the only time they are on display is in the bedroom! They are a garment with sexual connotations.

(Sits back to await a barrage of women claiming that they wear visible stockings and suspenders everyday to work.)

It wasn't my example but yes if I think of women gyrating around in a leotard then yes my head would go to flash dance. I mean why wouldn't it, it was massive.

Like another poster pointed out you didn't seem to realise that women have children at different ages so your comment wasn't accurate.

DD did modern dance and ballet to a pretty high standard at a local dance school in her teens. Did all the grades and got on to the musical theatre post 16 course at BRIT with their help so they knew what they were doing.

They were very strict on uniform for the lessons (high necked leotards and leggings for modern, standard practice clothes for ballet) . All the costumes for the shows were very classic and not revealing. Makeup only for older teens and only a bit of classic red lipstick and mascara. Definitely no fake tan, the principal would have had a fit! Very non suggestive music tracks (an emphasis on 70s romantic ballads- Forever Autumn a particular favourite ) and no dodgy moves. I can recommend them if you are anywhere near Kingston!

Find yourself a good quality dance school that regularly sends students to top performing schools. There are too many iffy places around that are too influenced by the likes of Dance Moms.

We don't all have kids at 18, you know!

I was 11 when Flashdance came out and my DS is 10!

Just no need for the rudeness.

I dont understand. You want to complain about something but you don't think that something is bad enough for you to remove your own Daughter.

I went to dance class for a year in the '70s. Those of us in the Highland Dancing class wore no make-up; those in the Ballroom Dancing class were caked in it.

The school was owned by a husband and wife team.

It does seem to depend on the type of dancing. I now see girls doing Irish dancing caked in make-up, and wearing elaborate hairstyles, whereas girls involved in Highland Dancing still seem to have a natural look and just have their hair up in a bun.