I feel like my daughters dance school is inappropriate

[grossedouteurgh]

Got back this evening from my daughter's dance school performance at the local arts center and was horrified.

Prefacing this by saying I have had a few issues in the past with what I feel is money grabbing (introduced a charge of £20 recently to drop kids off in the car park. Their studio is on an industrial estate - why?!! This only serves to put safety at risks/makes money).

Also feel they have such a feeling of superiority and favouritism at the school which I don't think is healthy to foster in teens and pre teens.

Anyway, got home this evening from the Easter dance show and literally feel sick. I've seen more clothes on moulin rouge dancers and the way they had them gyrating over the stage is just gross. I filmed some of it because it genuinely felt like a strip club, and if that was my daughter I'd be horrified (she's still in a class below).

I obviously won't share but we're talking flash dance style, suspenders, gyrating... from 15/16/17 y olds.

It made me feel so awful.

I guess the parents in this situation are brainwashed by the school and it's a step to the next thing?

What can I do? I don't want to let this lie.

What would they do if you didn't pay? They presumably don't own the land so what are they charging for? I wouldn't pay to drop off my child. That's ridiculous on its own. Let alone the erotic dancing which I would not be having under any circumstances. Completely inappropriate.

Why is being on an industrial estate dangerous?

I don't pay, and I told them exactly what i thought of them monetizing their students safety! The sad thing is though that this reflects on my daughter and they treat her differently

(I know I know I can't believe I continued after this but she loves it)

@grossedouteurgh

grooming?

that's a leap of an antelope on steroids.

they're dancing Chicago, being dressed like the cast of Chicago is entirely unsurprising.

many decades years ago the theatre I was a member of did Chicago (I was 15/16) and worse the dancing costume. 💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️

I'm glad I did a load of shows & dancing when I was young enough, fit enough & slim enough.

I certainly wasn't being 'groomed'

@grossedouteurgh stop shit stirring. Pull your DD out if you can't cope. Leave the other parents to decide for themselves. They don't want to be dancing to nursery rhymes

When I was 12 I went along to one of my friend’s dance class. It was awful- they were doing Prince’s Cream and for the “get on top” line the girls would lie on their bellies, lift their torsos from the floor and arch their backs. It shocked me as a 12 year old which is why my girls play football.

such a pity- dance should be about strength, beauty and grace, not sexually explicit moves and costumes for young girls.

The whole thing sounds toxic. I’d pull her out.

@Pinkpinkpink15 if you don't think it's wrong in this day and age for 15/16 year olds to be on a stage in underwear and suspenders, using a chair as a sexy dancing prop, I'm sorry for you

This. Completely

You want to protect other young girls but not your own daughter???

And yet you're the one sending your DD there rather than pulling her out immediately?

Do that now and then 'fight' for the others.

Dance is fucking awful. Also so many women living vicariously.

send your daughters to martial arts is my best advice.

@BettyShagter are you ok? I will obviously be pulling my daughter out, but I would like to know how I can protect others by way of reporting

Yes, a lot of women living vicariously through their kids in the dance world. It's a horrific environment. Although there are really lovely dance schools out there. As already mentioned by pp, a lot of them are off social media. Which says a lot really in terms of what gets clicks.

My friends daughter is a very successful dancer but omfg the things she wears are awful!!! From a very early age she’s been caked in fake tan and hairspray every weekend and her dresses are becoming more and more revealing (a sheet top half with jewels over the breasts!) She is only in year ten and I feel sick seeing her pictures onljne!

It's normal in the dance world

Look at ballroom/latin young professionals

Don't like it, take her out....stop with your width washy excuses

I did karate at her age and loved it 😍

You’re getting lost in your own posts… it apparently not easy when you are coparenting and you’re building a case

IDTA has information on safeguarding, look at your dance school equivalent

If she does awards/grades/medals it will be in her certificate

Report that way

DD loved watching Abbie Lee dance moms - very OTT dance show from the USA. I watched a few episodes and was shocked at the sexualised dancing and costumes, totally inappropriate and unnecessary. The kids were anything from 4/5 years old upwards in tiny costumes dancing suggestively to adult themed songs

DD went to to a school for a couple of years and really enjoyed it but didn’t like the costumes and being half naked for performances so stopped going.

@HelloMiss I'll do this - thank you

What genre of "dance" is your daughter taking--it all seems a bit vague? Could she switch to e.g. ballet?

What an odd comment.

I remember flashdance and I have a 9 year old.

Are there not more risqué example in the last what… 40 years?

Yes you may remember flash dance from the 80’s but is that where your head is going to go?

Yes I'm fine thanks, how are you?

My daughter has a big social group their and she's had a shit couple of years so I haven't wanted to pull her away from that hence my post this evening

If you will obviously be pulling her out, you didn't make it obvious from that post ^^

You can complain to management. You can complain to the local children's safeguarding board. You can also complain to the professional body such as IDTA if the school has teachers registered. The latter have a safeguarding process.

It sounds awful.