I feel like my daughters dance school is inappropriate

[grossedouteurgh]

Got back this evening from my daughter's dance school performance at the local arts center and was horrified.

Prefacing this by saying I have had a few issues in the past with what I feel is money grabbing (introduced a charge of £20 recently to drop kids off in the car park. Their studio is on an industrial estate - why?!! This only serves to put safety at risks/makes money).

Also feel they have such a feeling of superiority and favouritism at the school which I don't think is healthy to foster in teens and pre teens.

Anyway, got home this evening from the Easter dance show and literally feel sick. I've seen more clothes on moulin rouge dancers and the way they had them gyrating over the stage is just gross. I filmed some of it because it genuinely felt like a strip club, and if that was my daughter I'd be horrified (she's still in a class below).

I obviously won't share but we're talking flash dance style, suspenders, gyrating... from 15/16/17 y olds.

It made me feel so awful.

I guess the parents in this situation are brainwashed by the school and it's a step to the next thing?

What can I do? I don't want to let this lie.

Not all dance schools are like this. Move her to another one.

Were you allowed to film it? Were any other parents filming it? What are you planning on doing with the recordings?

Seriously I'm more concerned about the filming by OP than anything else tbh

It's worded weirdly and standard Safeguarding is no recording these things. ESPECIALLY when it's not your child. Even more especially when you feel the routine and costumes are sexualised!

@CrawlOut snore

Point proven 😏

@Pinkpinkpink15 None of what you've said there justifies dressing minors like strippers. So please stop defending it

@JurassicFantastic @Mumdiva99 @StinkyWizzleteets
So just because this same discussion was had thousands of miles away over a decade ago on a tv show, this automatically means that scenario cannot ever occur here? So anyone who ever complains about their dance school (something that's been complained about since the advent of dance schools!) is automatically a troll?!?! 🧌

Because she’s not my daughter and her mother is encouraging it. How on earth do you expect me to stop it?!?

Stop looking?

well I certainly don’t go looking 🤨 but when it’s all over social media it’s hard not to see.

I wasn't born until the eighties but I still know flashdance, tangentially I've recently taught 5 yo DS to do the fame leap.

I agree with your point OP DNs are in a dance school like this, when SIL sends videos to the family chat of 8 year old DN dancing provocatively, twerking etc with a full face of make up at 8 I don't know how to respond. I usually pick something like, wow look how high you can jump, or you've been working really hard well done.....
Would she consider a different style/school type? I don't have daughters but my friend's little girl goes to a street dance type place (a bit like diversity style), what they do is incredible, very acrobatic, the timing is impeccable and the boys and girls all wear the same clothes

If something made me feel sick, I would certainly not be exposing myself to it. Unfollowing is a thing.

👍🏻

Op I agree my dd has just done one and I was also agog at the make up and some costumes. Many where fab but one girl did a dance and I felt extremely uncomfortable with the men on the front row...

LIKE gymnastic changing their costumes, dance needs to get with the program as well.

Dance is not like gymnastics though. Dance tells a story just the same as acting does. The costume is part of that and has to reflect the character. Costume matters. So you can’t really compare dance to gymnastics for this point.

Gymnasts are scored in points for ability and could all wear black if the competition allowed. Dancers are telling a story and playing a character, no points awarded, just the art of performance and depicting the story/theme, so it’s very different.

What an absurd post.

Why shouldn’t OP visit strippers in Vegas? If they and she are adults then that’s their choice.

@grossedouteurgh I grew up in the SE (where this seems to be more of a ‘thing’ judging from these posts) and was strongly discouraged from continuing dance past primary school age because my mum found all the Lolita style make up and skimpy outfits a bit grim. That was in the 80s/90s so it’s a long standing thing.

Remember theatre relies on illusion. It's likely they're all wearing opaque skin toned pants / tights / bra / under leotard / maybe a body stocking underneath the clothes that look skimpy. (Think Stacey Dooley on Strictly - we caught a glimpse of dance pants but nothing more)

They wouldn't be able to dance well if wearing clothes they were afraid would reveal stuff that shouldn't be seen.

So you've got teenagers feeling good / confident (they wouldn't do it otherwise) about themselves and their bodies, just in a more adult way than seems comfortable.

What? Crawl out from under your rock. They can consent from the age of 16.

People who watch dances like this and sexualise it - They are the problem! Not the girls with confidence, who look after their bodies, and feel confident in pretty clothing.

I'm so sick of this bitter and jaded attitude.

I'm speaking as an over-weight 38yr old woman. What I would have done is said "Good for you! For getting up there with all of the confidence in the world and showing women that it's OK to look beautiful and wear what you want without fear of consequences."

Teach your boys to keep their hands to themselves, and teach yourselves to keep your perverted little minds clear of the obvious sexual objectification of women's bodies; clearly going on in this thread.

0r ar you just jealous you have never gotten up there and tried it? Teenagers or no - We live in an age where showing the world that lingerie, dance clothing, nightwear clothing is just that- Clothing!!! If I were a size 14, I would be up there in sparkly pieces, showing off my slim-downed body because I woile finally feel confident.

Jesus. Behave yourself.

Is there a dance school code of conduct or do they have to be registered with a particular dance /professional organization that safeguards children in the dancing world?

Yeah, apparently dance clubs are exempt from the safeguarding practices that other sports have to follow because it's 'art' 🙄

What WOULD be enough for you to remove your child?

You signed her up in good faith and instead they used your money to train and exhibit a child directed to move like an adult in a strip club. It doesn't get much worse, surely?

It wasn't an accident, at the very least it sounds like a sustained lack of judgement on their part. Make a rational decision not the emotional one, and move dance schools.

We've used and taught at a few dance schools over the years and never had what you describe. I would additionally report the staff responsible to the professional body they belong to, ISTD, RAD, NATD etc as "disrepute" is clearly an issue here.

Absolutely this 100%

I would find another dance schol. My daughter tried a dance school with a similar vibe when she was 12. I saw the tail end of a session and didn't go back. Inappropriate music with swearing and inappropriate moves for the age group. Like you, I was quite horrified.

I felt like this when I saw cheerleaders in a parade in a local carnival. many of them were young and wearing very cut-away costumes, loads of make up and doing gyrating/dancing which was really nasty.