I feel like my daughters dance school is inappropriate

[grossedouteurgh]

Got back this evening from my daughter's dance school performance at the local arts center and was horrified.

Prefacing this by saying I have had a few issues in the past with what I feel is money grabbing (introduced a charge of £20 recently to drop kids off in the car park. Their studio is on an industrial estate - why?!! This only serves to put safety at risks/makes money).

Also feel they have such a feeling of superiority and favouritism at the school which I don't think is healthy to foster in teens and pre teens.

Anyway, got home this evening from the Easter dance show and literally feel sick. I've seen more clothes on moulin rouge dancers and the way they had them gyrating over the stage is just gross. I filmed some of it because it genuinely felt like a strip club, and if that was my daughter I'd be horrified (she's still in a class below).

I obviously won't share but we're talking flash dance style, suspenders, gyrating... from 15/16/17 y olds.

It made me feel so awful.

I guess the parents in this situation are brainwashed by the school and it's a step to the next thing?

What can I do? I don't want to let this lie.

Vote with your feet and go elsewhere. Some of these dance schools are OTT.

I moved my daughter from a Dance School like this!! I was horrified.

You are horrified and it has literally made you feel sick. But not enough to pull your daughter from it. It would be interesting to know what WOULD make you consider doing that?

The OP clarified this several times. She thinks it's not enough to just pull her DD out. She wants to complain further.

What you're describing sounds like normal dance school shows to me.

Ballet/tap uniform is usually leotards - what else would you expect them to wear? Other classes (eg modern, jazz etc) would also require from fitting attire - the dancer and the teacher need to see the body to ensure correct line/form - it's why dance studios are usually wall to wall mirrors.

This is NOT grooming. This is dance.

The parents will have known what number and costume their children were wearing. If there was as any issue, they would have said or not had their children take part.

Chicago is a popular well known musical. It has good news nginf and dancing but is definitely adult themes.

Rather than making wild accusations, maybe speak with other parents and together suggests to the school that parents should be involved in a the content of shows.

Could you call NSPCC & ask for advice? Complain anonymously and send them the video? Or get in touch with MASH & raise concerns?

@MadMadaMim Ballet/tap uniform is usually leotards - what else would you expect them to wear? Other classes (eg modern, jazz etc) would also require from fitting attire - the dancer and the teacher need to see the body to ensure correct line/form - it's why dance studios are usually wall to wall mirrors.

Ballet - tights, character skirt or tutu, wrap top, actual character costume for example.

Jazz - again, an age-appropriate costume not just leotard and tights

Chicago etc - just opt out, it’s not mandatory and is in fact very overdone 😆

Teacher shouldn’t need to see proper form and line during a show in front of hundreds of adults. In the studio, sure.

I'm quite a broad minded guy, and even I think this is inappropriate. For God's sake, let wee kids be kids and stop sexualising them. Pull your child out of there.

If you decide to leave her in the school because of the social issue then please don't go looking for other parents to get the place shut down. If they are treating her differently because of the cone rental, guess what it could become if they smell sabotage.

I’ve been around the dance block a lot. I’ve also witnessed sexualised dancing and costumes at various dance competitions. The more commercial ones - yes, some of them are bloody awful. Don’t get me started on the fake tan, gyrations, tiny gussets and false eye lashes… grim.

There are better dance school out there. Maybe do some trial lessons at a few other schools OP?

On the plus side - I’ve noticed that at AED competitions, students appear to be marked down for doing songs that are too old for them- the judge will mention the age and lack of suitability as a factor at adjudication. Not always though!

Favoritism, diva dance school owners - yes, I definitely see all of this! It’s in the blood.

At the better schools you see the children love it, they learn a lot, they keep fit, they have to be organised, disciplined, they learn to lose as well as to win, they have to recognise when they need ‘down’ time.

I see many parents getting over involved. Freely admit to being one of these mums. We are often all having quite a lot of fun, so …

On the plus side - I’ve noticed that at AED competitions, students appear to be marked down for doing songs that are too old for them- the judge will mention the age and lack of suitability as a factor at adjudication. Not always though!
That's good where it happens.

I've always felt a little uncomfortable with adults wanting young girls and teen girls to dance in a sexualised way. It seems to be yet another strand of adult female sexuality being presented to girls as empowerment. I also feel quite uncomfortable with any adult who wants to watch children perform in that way.

@LolaSmiles i totally agree. You have to wonder why.