I don't want to be tracked by my husband's ex-wife

[gotellitonthemountain]

My stepdaughter has just got her first phone. Her mum has put a tracking app on it, which my husband also has access to.

I just don't feel comfortable thinking of SDD's mum following our every move on the days she is with us.

AIBU?

Your step daughters safety trumps your feelings.!

It's not about you.

How old is she? Does she need to have it with her when she’s out of the house?

Oh calm down, where are you planning on going?

It's not tracking you. It's tracking your daughters phone.

Yes, yabu

Same as your daughters friends don't get to decide her parents can't do that, because then her parents know where the friends are when they are all together.

This isn't your parenting choice to make. They parent how they want, znd it includes Life360. You parent the way you want, and it doesn't.

I mean, you could always join your dd to your own circle on Life360 and see where she is all the time. If you wanted.

She is tracking your step daughter not you. NOYB yabu

It's no different to her saying "we are off to the zoo this weekend" or going home and telling her mum what she did.

I doubt she's going to have the tracking up all weekend following your every move.

@bigageap

DSD is with her Dad & SM. Has been perfectly safe up until now. She's just got a phone (for secondary or whatever) there is no need for her to 'tracked' when she's in their care.

I can see why it’s irritating but you’ll
just have to put up with it. It’s not about you.

Tell her to leave it at home when you go out 🤷🏻‍♀️

I doubt she is tracking it all the time, and even if she is she'll lose interest very quickly. Presumably your DH can use it to track his exes movements if he wanted to. Does he though? Just get on and live your life normally and forget about it. Unless she starts randomly showing up when you've gone out somewhere.

I track all my DCs! I'm still married to their dad, so no step parents involved, but it's purely for their safety (& my peace of mind!)

I would assume it is more so that her parents know where she is when she is with neither of them, rather than her Mum is using it to find out where she is with you. Unless you are going strange and inappropriate places with her? I guess you could ask her to turn it off when she is with you, but that would seen paranoid in the extreme.

Why? Where are you going that's of concern? She's not tracking you she's looking out for her daughter.

@gotellitonthemountain

unfortunately it's going to depend on your DH, talk to him, there's no reason he can't turn it off when she's with him (you) for the day/weekend/holidays.

as per my previous post.

YANBU. All this tracking is disgusting, poor teens nowadays.

Your SD can tell her anyway so it makes no difference whatsoever.

But the app is on the daughter’s phone not yours? I’m guessing you and she are not joined at the hip? Just do what you would have done before the app came along.

you're being weird, you wont even have crossed her mind. stop being ridiculous.

But you can't actually just expect it is switched on and off all the time. Relax ... its tracking the DD and good to have it on

Yes this. How old is she? 11 year old fair enough, by mid to late teens - eek

So I'm 'bio mum' and I kind of get what you're saying! Am I the only one here who doesn't like this tracking app crap? It feels like a massive step too far. I just say, make sure your phone is always on and update me where you are, always answer etc. I might get ripped a new ass for this but I think we've all gone too far with this stuff.

OP, there's not much you can do really as the step parent apart from encourage her to leave phone at home when you're doing family things.

How old is she?
Presume around 8 as its her first phone?
Phone stays in your house when you go out. Simple.

We had this in reverse. Dh's ex wife accused him of tracking her every move as dss 12 had life 360 on his phone. He couldn't care less where she was-he was more worried about DSS and where he was, or him losing his phone. Which he then did. And she demanded dh replace it. Erm...no.

How old is DSD? Who is paying for the contract? Are they aware of the various rules about age limits for apps etc? I'm guessing she is young and these are often overlooked. Make sure her parents are checking. Also make the ground rules clear - no phones upstairs is a good one.

The phone doesn't have to come with you on family days out all of the time. I'd guess that this is more that you don't want DSD's mum to be able to contact your family on your time together. If this is the true feeling behind it, you could encourage her to have her phone off, or at home, or in her Dad's bag when she is out with you all as a family.