I don't want to be tracked by my husband's ex-wife

[gotellitonthemountain]

My stepdaughter has just got her first phone. Her mum has put a tracking app on it, which my husband also has access to.

I just don't feel comfortable thinking of SDD's mum following our every move on the days she is with us.

AIBU?

Comments on the lines of "it's very unlikely the mum is interested in what the stepmum is up to" are fair enough. The ones saying categorically that she isn't, though, are assuming too much. They don't know she isn't a control freak or doesn't have form for crashing family days out. There are many reasons why exes are ex and control freakery could well be one of them. (Thank fuck phone trackers weren't really a thing when I was married to XH...)

Considering my DHs ex got engaged on our first wedding anniversary in the same location that her fiance married his wife, I absolutely wouldn't put it past her to turn up to places we were.

If she is with her father then there is no need for the tracking app to be on. Turn it off or turn the phone off. Job Done.

Like you say, we don't know how old the child is. But there's still no way of the mother knowing if the dad or step mum (or both) are with the child, so it would be useless for stalking the step mum, which is the only reason I can see for the op to object to it.

Say they go for a family day out.. how can the mum tell if they are all together, if just the dad is there, or just the step mum, or just the child? She can't. Unless the child has already told her they are going as a family, or who she will be with, in which case the phone is irrelevant. She can only use it for tracking the phone, and presumably therefore, the child. Just as the dad can when the child is with the mum. However much of a pita the mum may be, I don't see what reason there is for the op to object.
Also presumably the dad has already agreed to this as he is also able to access the location. In which case she should talk to him about it rather than blaming the mum,and making it all her fault.

Have you considered the posdibility that it's as mych the phone that's being tracked? She's a child and is 100% guaranteed to lose her phone. Or leave it somewhere stupid. Even cheap phones can add up over multiple losses.

@Skyisbluegrassisgreen

yes, you can, like any other setting on the phone.

@Anameisaname

it doesn't need to be switched on & off all the time. It can be switched off when she arrives at Dads & on when she goes back to mums.

Personally it wouldn't bother me & I think it's good to have it on an expensive phone & to know where the DD is when she starts going out alone, but I'm not the OP & she does have an issue with it.

another alternative is to leave it at home when they all go out together.

What? Where are you taking her that you feel uncomfortable about her knowing?

You are making it about you not the child and quite frankly you are not particularly important compared to the child! Are her parents really going to enable/disable whichever app they are using just to keep you happy! I bloody couldn’t be arsed doing that!